Thus for Act 4 Scene 2 line 114: “4.2.114 his = F2. F = her” means that we have adopted the correction of the Second Folio, when Silvia is discussing being buried in Valentine’s grave.

KEY FACTS

MAJOR PARTS: (with number of speeches/scenes on stage) Proteus (20%/147/11), Valentine (17%/149/6), Julia (14%/107/7), Speed (9%/117/6), Lance (9%/68/4), Duke (9%/48/5), Silvia (7%/58/6), Lucetta (3%/48/2), Turio (3%/36/5).

LINGUISTIC MEDIUM: 80% verse, 20% prose. High frequency of rhyme.

DATE: Early 1590s. Mentioned by Francis Meres in 1598. Presumed on stylistic grounds to be one of the earliest plays, but no firm evidence for any particular year.

SOURCES: Main plot based on a story in Jorge de Montemayor, Diana Enamorada (originally in Spanish—English translation by Bartholomew Yong published 1598, but circulated in manuscript several years earlier); plot may be mediated via a lost Queen’s Men play of the 1580s, Felix and Feliomena. Other literary influences seem to include Arthur Brooke, Romeus and Juliet (1562) and John Lyly, Euphues (1578), and perhaps Midas (c.1589).

TEXT: First Folio of 1623 is the only early printed text. Based on a transcript by Ralph Crane, professional scribe working for the King’s Men. Generally good quality of printing.

THE TWO GENTLEMEN OF VERONA

LIST OF PARTS

the two gentlemen

VALENTINE    

PROTEUS    

SPEED    a clownish servant to Valentine

LANCE    the like to Proteus

DUKE    of Milan, father to Silvia

SILVIA    beloved of Valentine

EGLAMOUR    agent for Silvia in her escape

ANTONIO    father to Proteus

PANTINO    servant to Antonio

TURIO    a foolish rival to Valentine

JULIA    beloved of Proteus

LUCETTA    waiting-woman to Julia

HOST    where Julia lodges

OUTLAWS    with Valentine

Servants, Musicians, Lance’s dog Crab

Act 1 Scene 1

running scene 1

Enter Valentine [and] Proteus

VALENTINE    Cease to persuade, my loving Proteus:

Home-keeping youth have ever homely2 wits.

Were’t not affection chains thy tender3 days

To the sweet glances of thy honoured love,

I rather would entreat thy company

To see the wonders of the world abroad,

Than — living dully sluggardized7 at home—

Wear out thy youth with shapeless8 idleness.

But since thou lov’st, love still9, and thrive therein,

Even as I would, when I to love begin.

PROTEUS    Wilt thou be gone? Sweet Valentine, adieu.

Think on thy Proteus, when thou haply12 see’st

Some rare noteworthy object in thy travel.

Wish me partaker in thy happiness

When thou dost meet good hap15: and in thy danger—

If ever danger do environ16 thee—

Commend thy grievance17 to my holy prayers,

For I will be thy beadsman18, Valentine.

VALENTINE    And on a love-book19 pray for my success?

PROTEUS    Upon some book I love, I’ll pray for thee.

VALENTINE    That’s on some shallow story of deep love:

How young Leander crossed the Hellespont.22

PROTEUS    That’s a deep story, of a deeper love,

For he was more than over-shoes in love.24

VALENTINE    ’Tis true: for you are over-boots in love,

And yet you never swam the Hellespont.

PROTEUS    Over the boots? Nay, give me not the boots.27

VALENTINE    No, I will not, for it boots28 thee not.

PROTEUS    What?

VALENTINE    To be in love, where scorn is bought with groans:

Coy31 looks with heart-sore sighs, one fading moment’s mirth,

With twenty watchful32, weary, tedious nights;

If haply won, perhaps a hapless33 gain,

If lost, why then a grievous labour won;34

However, but a folly35 bought with wit,

Or else a wit by folly vanquishèd.

PROTEUS    So, by your circumstance37, you call me fool.

VALENTINE    So, by your circumstance38, I fear you’ll prove.

PROTEUS    ’Tis Love you cavil39 at: I am not Love.

VALENTINE    Love is your master, for he masters you:

And he that is so yokèd41 by a fool,

Methinks should not be chronicled for42 wise.

PROTEUS    Yet writers say: as in the sweetest bud

The eating canker44 dwells, so eating love

Inhabits in the finest wits of all.

VALENTINE    And writers say: as the most forward46 bud

Is eaten by the canker ere it blow,47

Even so by love, the young and tender wit

Is turned to folly, blasting49 in the bud,

Losing his verdure, even in the prime,50

And all the fair effects51 of future hopes.

But wherefore waste I time to counsel52 thee

That art a votary to fond53 desire?

Once more, adieu. My father at the road54

Expects my coming, there to see me shipped.55

PROTEUS    And thither will I bring thee, Valentine.

VALENTINE    Sweet Proteus, no: now let us take our leave.

To Milan58 let me hear from thee by letters

Of thy success59 in love, and what news else

Betideth60 here in absence of thy friend:

And I likewise will visit thee with mine.61

PROTEUS    All happiness bechance62 to thee in Milan.

VALENTINE    As much to you at home: and so, farewell.

Exit

PROTEUS    He after honour hunts, I after love;

He leaves his friends to dignify65 them more;

I leave66 myself, my friends and all, for love.

Thou, Julia67, thou hast metamorphosed me:

Made me neglect my studies, lose my time,

War69 with good counsel, set the world at nought;

Made wit with musing70 weak, heart sick with thought.

[Enter Speed]

SPEED    Sir Proteus, ’save you.71 Saw you my master?

PROTEUS    But72 now he parted hence to embark for Milan.

SPEED    Twenty to one then, he is shipped already,

And I have played the sheep74 in losing him.

PROTEUS    Indeed, a sheep doth very often stray,

An if76 the shepherd be awhile away.

SPEED    You conclude that my master is a shepherd, then,

and I a sheep?

PROTEUS    I do.

SPEED    Why then, my horns are his horns80, whether I wake

or sleep.

PROTEUS    A silly answer, and fitting well a sheep.

SPEED    This proves me still a sheep.

PROTEUS    True: and thy master a shepherd.

SPEED    Nay, that I can deny by a circumstance.85

PROTEUS    It shall go hard but I’ll prove it by another.86

SPEED    The shepherd seeks the sheep, and not the sheep the

shepherd; but I seek my master, and my master seeks not me.

Therefore I am no sheep.

PROTEUS    The sheep for fodder90 follow the shepherd, the

shepherd for food follows not the sheep: thou for wages

followest thy master, thy master for wages follows not thee.

Therefore thou art a sheep.

SPEED    Such another proof will make me cry ‘baa’.94

PROTEUS    But dost thou hear? Gav’st thou my letter to Julia?

SPEED    Ay, sir: I, a lost-mutton96, gave your letter to her, a

laced-mutton97, and she, a laced-mutton, gave me, a lost-

mutton, nothing for my labour.

PROTEUS    Here’s too small a pasture for such store99 of muttons.

SPEED    If the ground be overcharged, you were best stick100

her.

PROTEUS    Nay, in that you are astray: ’twere best pound102 you.

SPEED    Nay, sir, less than a pound103 shall serve me for

carrying your letter.

PROTEUS    You mistake: I mean the pound — a pinfold.105

SPEED    From a pound to a pin? Fold106 it over and over, ’tis

Speed nods his head

threefold too little for carrying a letter to your lover.

PROTEUS    But what said she?

SPEED    Ay.

PROTEUS    Nod — ay — why, that’s ‘noddy’.110

SPEED    You mistook, sir: I say she did nod, and you ask me

if she did nod, and I say ‘ay’.

PROTEUS    And that set together is noddy.

SPEED    Now you have taken the pains to set it together, take114

it for your pains.

PROTEUS    No, no, you shall have it for bearing the letter.

SPEED    Well, I perceive I must be fain to bear117 with you.

PROTEUS    Why sir, how do you bear with me?

SPEED    Marry, sir, the letter, very orderly119, having nothing

but the word ‘noddy’ for my pains.

PROTEUS    Beshrew121 me, but you have a quick wit.

SPEED    And yet it cannot overtake your slow purse.

PROTEUS    Come come, open the matter123 in brief: what said she?

SPEED    Open your purse, that the money and the matter

may be both at once delivered.

Gives a coin

PROTEUS    Well, sir: here is for your pains. What said

she?

Examines coin, with contempt

SPEED    Truly, sir, I think you’ll hardly128 win her.

PROTEUS    Why? Couldst thou perceive129 so much

from her?

SPEED    Sir, I could perceive131 nothing at all from her; no, not

so much as a ducat132 for delivering your letter. And being so

hard to me that brought your mind133, I fear she’ll prove as

hard to you in telling your mind. Give her no token134 but

stones135, for she’s as hard as steel.

PROTEUS    What said she, nothing?

SPEED    No, not so much as ‘Take this for thy pains.’ To

testify your bounty, I thank you, you have testerned me138; in

requital whereof139, henceforth carry your letters yourself. And

so, sir, I’ll commend140 you to my master.

PROTEUS    Go, go, begone141, to save your ship from wreck,

[Exit Speed]

Which cannot perish having thee aboard,

Being destined to a drier death143 on shore.

I must go send some better messenger:

I fear my Julia would not deign my lines,145

Receiving them from such a worthless post.146

Exit

Act 1 Scene 2

running scene 2

Enter Julia and Lucetta

JULIA    But say, Lucetta — now we are alone—

Wouldst thou then counsel me to fall in love?

LUCETTA    Ay, madam, so you stumble not unheedfully.3

JULIA    Of all the fair resort4 of gentlemen

That every day with parle5 encounter me,

In thy opinion, which is worthiest love?

LUCETTA    Please you repeat their names, I’ll show my mind,

According to my shallow simple skill.

JULIA    What think’st thou of the fair Sir Eglamour?9

LUCETTA    As of a knight well-spoken, neat10 and fine;

But, were I you, he never should be mine.

JULIA    What think’st thou of the rich Mercatio?12

LUCETTA    Well of his wealth; but of himself, so so.

JULIA    What think’st thou of the gentle14 Proteus?

LUCETTA    Lord, Lord: to see what folly reigns in us!

JULIA    How now? What means this passion16 at his name?

LUCETTA    Pardon, dear madam: ’tis a passing17 shame

That I — unworthy body as I am—

Should censure19 thus on lovely gentlemen.

JULIA    Why not on Proteus, as of all the rest?

LUCETTA    Then thus: of many good, I think him best.

JULIA    Your reason?

LUCETTA    I have no other, but a woman’s reason:

I think him so because I think him so.

JULIA    And wouldst thou have me cast25 my love on him?

LUCETTA    Ay, if you thought your love not cast away.26

JULIA    Why he, of all the rest, hath never moved27 me.

LUCETTA    Yet he, of all the rest, I think best loves ye.

JULIA    His little speaking29 shows his love but small.

LUCETTA    Fire that’s closest kept burns most of all.

JULIA    They do not love that do not show their love.

LUCETTA    O, they love least that let men know their love.

JULIA    I would I knew his mind.

Gives a letter

LUCETTA    Peruse this paper, madam.

JULIA    ‘To Julia’. Say, from whom?

LUCETTA    That the contents will show.

JULIA    Say, say: who gave it thee?

LUCETTA    Sir Valentine’s page: and sent, I think, from Proteus.

He would have given it you, but I, being in the way,39

Did in your name receive it: pardon the fault, I pray.

JULIA    Now, by my modesty, a goodly broker!41

Dare you presume to harbour wanton42 lines?

To whisper and conspire against my youth?

Now trust me, ’tis an office44 of great worth,

And you an officer fit for the place.

There, take the paper: see it be returned,

Or else return no more into my sight.

LUCETTA    To plead for love deserves more fee48 than hate.

JULIA    Will ye be gone?

LUCETTA    That you may ruminate.50

Exit

JULIA    And yet I would I had o’erlooked51 the letter;

It were a shame to call her back again

And pray her to a fault for which I chid53 her.

What fool is she, that knows I am a maid,

And would not force the letter to my view!

Since maids, in modesty, say ‘no’ to that

Which they would have the profferer construe ‘ay’.57

Fie, fie: how wayward58 is this foolish love

That — like a testy59 babe — will scratch the nurse

And presently, all humbled, kiss the rod!60

How churlishly61 I chid Lucetta hence,

When willingly I would have had her here!

How angerly63 I taught my brow to frown,

When inward joy enforced my heart to smile!

My penance is to call Lucetta back

And ask remission66 for my folly past.

What ho! Lucetta!

[Enter Lucetta]

LUCETTA    What would your ladyship?

JULIA    Is’t near dinner-time?

LUCETTA    I would it were,

That you might kill your stomach71 on your meat

And not upon your maid.

Drops a letter, then picks it up

JULIA    What is’t that you took up so gingerly?

LUCETTA    Nothing.

JULIA    Why didst thou stoop then?

LUCETTA    To take a paper up that I let fall.

JULIA    And is that paper nothing?

LUCETTA    Nothing concerning me.

JULIA    Then let it lie for those that it concerns.79

LUCETTA    Madam, it will not lie where it concerns,80

Unless it have a false interpreter.81

JULIA    Some love of yours hath writ to you in rhyme.

LUCETTA    That83 I might sing it, madam, to a tune.

Give me a note: your ladyship can set84

JULIA    As little by such toys85 as may be possible.

Best sing it to the tune of ‘Light o’love’.86

LUCETTA    It is too heavy for so light87 a tune.

JULIA    Heavy? Belike it hath some burden88 then?

LUCETTA    Ay, and melodious were it, would you sing it.

JULIA    And why not you?

LUCETTA    I cannot reach so high.91

JULIA    Let’s see your song.

Takes the letter

                                       How now, minion!92

LUCETTA    Keep tune there still, so you will sing it out:93

And yet methinks I do not like this tune.

JULIA    You do not?

LUCETTA    No, madam, ’tis too sharp.96

JULIA    You, minion, are too saucy.

LUCETTA    Nay, now you are too flat,98

And mar the concord with too harsh a descant:99

There wanteth but a mean100 to fill your song.

JULIA    The mean is drowned with your unruly bass.101

LUCETTA    Indeed, I bid the base102 for Proteus.

JULIA    This babble shall not henceforth trouble me.

Tears the letter

Here is a coil with protestation!104

Go, get you gone, and let the papers lie:

You would be fing’ring106 them to anger me.

LUCETTA    She makes it strange107, but she would be best pleased

To be so angered with another letter.

[Exit]

JULIA    Nay, would I were so angered with the same:109

O hateful hands, to tear such loving words;

Injurious wasps111, to feed on such sweet honey

And kill the bees that yield it with your stings!

I’ll kiss each several paper113 for amends.

↓Examining the pieces↓

Look, here is writ ‘kind Julia’. Unkind114 Julia,

As115 in revenge of thy ingratitude,

I throw thy name against the bruising stones,

Trampling contemptuously on thy disdain.

And here is writ ‘love-wounded Proteus’.

Poor wounded name: my bosom as a bed119

Shall lodge thee till thy wound be throughly120 healed;

And thus I search it with a sovereign121 kiss.

But twice or thrice was ‘Proteus’ written down.

Be calm, good wind, blow not a word away

Till I have found each letter, in the letter,

Except mine own name: that, some whirlwind bear

Unto a ragged126, fearful, hanging rock,

And throw it thence into the raging sea.

Lo, here in one line is his name twice writ:

‘Poor forlorn Proteus, passionate Proteus,

To the sweet Julia’: that130 I’ll tear away:

And yet I will not, sith131 so prettily

He couples it to his complaining names.132

Thus will I fold them, one upon another;133

Now kiss, embrace, contend134, do what you will.

[Enter Lucetta]

LUCETTA    Madam, dinner is ready, and your father stays.135

JULIA    Well, let us go.

LUCETTA    What, shall these papers lie like tell-tales here?

JULIA    If you respect138 them, best to take them up.

LUCETTA    Nay, I was taken up139 for laying them down.

Picks up the pieces

Yet here they shall not lie, for140 catching cold.

JULIA    I see you have a month’s mind to141 them.

LUCETTA    Ay, madam, you may say what sights you see;

I see things too, although you judge I wink.143

JULIA    Come, come: will’t please you go?

Exeunt

Act 1 Scene 3

running scene 3

Enter Antonio and Pantino

ANTONIO    Tell me, Pantino, what sad1 talk was that

Wherewith my brother held you in the cloister?2

PANTINO    ’Twas of his nephew Proteus, your son.

ANTONIO    Why? What of him?

PANTINO    He wondered that your lordship

Would suffer6 him to spend his youth at home,

While other men, of slender reputation,7

Put forth their sons to seek preferment8 out:

Some to the wars to try their fortune there,

Some to discover islands far away,

Some to the studious universities;

For any or for all these exercises,

He said that Proteus your son was meet,13

And did request me to importune14 you

To let him spend his time no more at home,

Which would be great impeachment to his age,16

In having known no travel in his youth.

ANTONIO    Nor need’st thou much importune me to that

Whereon this month I have been hammering.19

I have considered well his loss of time,

And how he cannot be a perfect21 man,

Not being tried22 and tutored in the world:

Experience is by industry achieved

And perfected by the swift course of time.

Then tell me, whither were I best to send him?

PANTINO    I think your lordship is not ignorant26

How his companion, youthful Valentine,

Attends the emperor28 in his royal court.

ANTONIO    I know it well.

PANTINO    ’Twere good, I think, your lordship sent him thither:

There shall he practise tilts31 and tournaments,

Hear sweet discourse32, converse with noblemen,

And be in eye of33 every exercise

Worthy his youth and nobleness of birth.

ANTONIO    I like thy counsel: well hast thou advised.

And that thou mayst perceive how well I like it,

The execution37 of it shall make known.

Even with the speediest expedition38

I will dispatch him to the emperor’s court.

PANTINO    Tomorrow, may it please you, Don Alfonso

With other gentlemen of good esteem

Are journeying to salute the emperor

And to commend43 their service to his will.

ANTONIO    Good company: with them shall Proteus go.

[Enter Proteus, reading]

And in good time! Now will we break with45 him.

PROTEUS    Sweet love, sweet lines, sweet life!

Here is her hand47, the agent of her heart;

Here is her oath for love, her honour’s pawn.48

O, that our fathers would applaud our loves

To seal50 our happiness with their consents.

O heavenly Julia!

ANTONIO    How now? What letter are you reading there?

PROTEUS    May’t please your lordship, ’tis a word or two

Of commendations54 sent from Valentine,

Delivered by a friend that came from him.

ANTONIO    Lend me the letter: let me see what news.

PROTEUS    There is no news, my lord, but that he writes

How happily he lives, how well beloved

And daily gracèd59 by the emperor,

Wishing me with him, partner of his fortune.

ANTONIO    And how stand you affected61 to his wish?

PROTEUS    As one relying on your lordship’s will,

And not depending on his63 friendly wish.

ANTONIO    My will is something sorted64 with his wish.

Muse65 not that I thus suddenly proceed:

For what I will, I will, and there an end.

I am resolved that thou shalt spend some time

With Valentinus in the emperor’s court:

What maintenance he from his friends69 receives,

Like exhibition70 thou shalt have from me.

Tomorrow be in readiness to go:

Excuse it not, for I am peremptory.72

PROTEUS    My lord, I cannot be so soon provided:73

Please you deliberate a day or two.

ANTONIO    Look75 what thou want’st shall be sent after thee.

No more of stay:76 tomorrow thou must go.

Come on, Pantino, you shall be employed

To hasten on his expedition.

[Exeunt Antonio and Pantino]

PROTEUS    Thus have I shunned the fire for fear of burning,

And drenched me in the sea where I am drowned.

I feared to show my father Julia’s letter,

Lest he should take exceptions82 to my love,

And with the vantage83 of mine own excuse

Hath he excepted most against84 my love.

O, how this spring of love resembleth

The uncertain glory of an April day,

Which now shows all the beauty of the sun,

And by and by a cloud takes all away.

[Enter Pantino]

PANTINO    Sir Proteus, your father calls for you:

He is in haste, therefore I pray you go.

PROTEUS    Why, this it is: my heart accords91 thereto,

And yet a thousand times it answers ‘no’.

Exeunt

Act 2 Scene 1

running scene 4

Enter Valentine [and] Speed

SPEED    Sir, your glove.

VALENTINE    Not mine: my gloves are on.2

SPEED    Why then, this may be yours, for this is but one.

VALENTINE    Ha! Let me see: ay, give it me, it’s mine.

Sweet ornament that decks5 a thing divine.

Ah, Silvia6, Silvia!

Calls

SPEED    Madam Silvia! Madam Silvia!

VALENTINE    How now, sirrah?8

SPEED    She is not within hearing, sir.

VALENTINE    Why, sir, who bade you call her?

SPEED    Your worship, sir, or else I mistook.

VALENTINE    Well, you’ll still be too forward.12

SPEED    And yet I was last chidden for being too slow.

VALENTINE    Go to14, sir: tell me, do you know Madam Silvia?

SPEED    She that your worship loves?

VALENTINE    Why, how know you that I am in love?

SPEED    Marry, by these special marks17: first, you have

learned — like Sir Proteus — to wreathe18 your arms like a

malcontent: to relish19 a love-song like a robin-redbreast: to

walk alone like one that had the pestilence20: to sigh like a

school-boy that had lost his A B C21: to weep like a young

wench that had buried her grandam22: to fast like one that

takes diet: to watch23 like one that fears robbing: to speak

puling like a beggar at Hallowmas. You were wont24, when you

laughed, to crow like a cock; when you walked, to walk like

one of the lions: when you fasted, it was presently26 after

dinner: when you looked sadly, it was for want27 of money.

And now you are metamorphosed with a mistress, that,

when I look on you, I can hardly think you my master.

VALENTINE    Are all these things perceived in me?

SPEED    They are all perceived without ye.31

VALENTINE    Without me?32 They cannot.

SPEED    Without33 you? Nay, that’s certain: for, without you

were so simple, none else would. But you are so without

these follies, that these follies are within you, and shine35

through you like the water in an urinal36, that not an eye that

sees you but is a physician to comment on your malady.37

VALENTINE    But tell me, dost thou know my lady Silvia?

SPEED    She that you gaze on so, as she sits at supper?

VALENTINE    Hast thou observed that? Even she40, I mean.

SPEED    Why sir, I know her not.

VALENTINE    Dost thou know her by my gazing on her, and yet

know’st her not?

SPEED    Is she not hard-favoured44, sir?

VALENTINE    Not so fair, boy, as well-favoured.45

SPEED    Sir, I know that well enough.

VALENTINE    What dost thou know?

SPEED    That she is not so fair as, of you, well-favoured.48

VALENTINE    I mean that her beauty is exquisite, but her favour49

infinite.

SPEED    That’s because the one is painted and the other out51

of all count.

VALENTINE    How painted? And how out of count?

SPEED    Marry, sir, so painted to make her fair, that no man

counts of55 her beauty.

VALENTINE    How esteem’st thou me?56 I account of her beauty.

SPEED    You never saw her since she was deformed.57

VALENTINE    How long hath she been deformed?

SPEED    Ever since you loved her.

VALENTINE    I have loved her ever since I saw her, and still I see

her beautiful.

SPEED    If you love her, you cannot see her.

VALENTINE    Why?

SPEED    Because Love is blind.64 O, that you had mine eyes, or

your own eyes had the lights65 they were wont to have when

you chid at Sir Proteus for going ungartered!66

VALENTINE    What should I see then?

SPEED    Your own present folly and her passing deformity:

for he, being in love, could not see to garter his hose69; and you,

being in love, cannot see to put on your hose.

VALENTINE    Belike, boy, then you are in love, for last morning

you could not see to wipe my shoes.

SPEED    True, sir: I was in love with my bed. I thank you, you

swinged74 me for my love, which makes me the bolder to chide

you for yours.

VALENTINE    In conclusion, I stand affected to76 her.

SPEED    I would you were set77, so your affection would cease.

VALENTINE    Last night she enjoined me to write some lines to

one she loves.

SPEED    And have you?

VALENTINE    I have.

SPEED    Are they not lamely writ?

VALENTINE    No, boy, but as well as I can do them.

Peace! Here she comes.

Aside

SPEED    O, excellent motion!85 O, exceeding

puppet! Now will he interpret to her.86

[Enter Silvia]

VALENTINE    Madam and mistress, a thousand good-morrows.

Aside

SPEED    O, ’give ye good ev’n: here’s a million of88 manners.

SILVIA    Sir Valentine and servant89, to you two thousand.

Aside

SPEED    He should give her interest, and she gives it him.90

VALENTINE    As you enjoined me, I have writ your letter

Unto the secret, nameless friend92 of yours,

Which I was much unwilling to proceed in

Gives her a letter

But for my duty to your ladyship.

SILVIA    I thank you, gentle servant: ’tis very clerkly95 done.

VALENTINE    Now trust me, madam, it came hardly off:96

For being ignorant to whom it goes

I writ at random, very doubtfully.98

SILVIA    Perchance you think too much of so much pains?99

VALENTINE    No, madam, so it stead you100, I will write—

Please you command — a thousand times as much.

And yet—

SILVIA    A pretty period! Well, I guess the sequel,103

And yet I will not name it: and yet I care not.

Offers him the letter

And yet take this105 again. And yet I thank you,

Meaning henceforth to trouble you no more.

Aside

SPEED    And yet you will, and yet another ‘yet’.

VALENTINE    What means your ladyship? Do you not like it?

SILVIA    Yes, yes: the lines are very quaintly109 writ,

Offers the letter again

But, since unwillingly, take them again.110

Nay, take them.

VALENTINE    Madam, they are for you.

SILVIA    Ay, ay: you writ them, sir, at my request,

But I will none of114 them. They are for you:

I would have had them writ more movingly.

VALENTINE    Please you, I’ll write your ladyship another.

SILVIA    And when it’s writ, for my sake read it over,

And if it please you, so118: if not, why, so.

VALENTINE    If it please me, madam? What then?

SILVIA    Why, if it please you, take it for your labour;120

And so, good morrow, servant.

Exit

Aside

SPEED    O, jest unseen, inscrutable, invisible

As a nose on a man’s face, or a weathercock on a steeple!

My master sues to124 her, and she hath taught her suitor,

He being her pupil, to become her tutor.

O, excellent device!126 Was there ever heard a better?

That my master, being scribe,

To himself should write the letter?

VALENTINE    How now, sir? What, are you reasoning129 with yourself?

SPEED    Nay, I was rhyming: ’tis you that have the reason.

VALENTINE    To do what?

SPEED    To be a spokesman from Madam Silvia.

VALENTINE    To whom?

SPEED    To yourself: why, she woos you by a figure.134

VALENTINE    What figure?

SPEED    By a letter, I should say.

VALENTINE    Why, she hath not writ to me?

SPEED    What need she, when she hath made you write to

yourself? Why, do you not perceive the jest?

VALENTINE    No, believe me.

SPEED    No believing you indeed, sir. But did you perceive

her earnest?142

VALENTINE    She gave me none143, except an angry word.

SPEED    Why, she hath given you a letter.

VALENTINE    That’s the letter I writ to her friend.

SPEED    And that letter hath she delivered, and there an end.146

VALENTINE    I would it were no worse.

SPEED    I’ll warrant148 you, ’tis as well:

For often have you writ to her, and she in modesty,

Or else for want150 of idle time, could not again reply,

Or fearing else some messenger that might her mind discover,151

Herself hath taught her love himself to write unto her lover.

All this I speak in print153, for in print I found it.

Why muse you, sir? ’Tis dinner-time.

VALENTINE    I have dined.155

SPEED    Ay, but hearken, sir: though the chameleon Love156

can feed on the air, I am one that am nourished by my

victuals, and would fain158 have meat. O, be not like your

mistress: be moved159, be moved.

Exeunt

Act 2 Scene 2

running scene 5

Enter Proteus [and] Julia

PROTEUS    Have patience, gentle Julia.

JULIA    I must, where is2 no remedy.

PROTEUS    When possibly I can, I will return.

JULIA    If you turn4 not, you will return the sooner.

Keep this remembrance5 for thy Julia’s sake.

Gives a ring

PROTEUS    Why then, we’ll make exchange; here, take you this.

Gives a ring

JULIA    And seal the bargain with a holy kiss.

They kiss

PROTEUS    Here is my hand for my true constancy:8

And when that hour o’erslips9 me in the day,

Wherein I sigh not, Julia, for thy sake,

The next ensuing hour some foul mischance11

Torment me for my love’s forgetfulness.

My father stays13 my coming: answer not,

The tide is now; nay, not thy tide of tears,

That tide will stay15 me longer than I should.

Julia, farewell. What, gone without a word?

[Exit Julia]

Ay, so true love should do: it cannot speak,

For truth hath better deeds than words to grace18 it.

[Enter Pantino]

PANTINO    Sir Proteus, you are stayed for.

PROTEUS    Go: I come, I come.

Alas, this parting strikes poor lovers dumb.

Exeunt

Act 2 Scene 3

running scene 6

Enter Lance [leading his dog, Crab]

LANCE    Nay, ’twill be this hour ere1 I have done weeping: all

the kind2 of the Lances have this very fault. I have received

my proportion, like the prodigious3 son, and am going with

Sir Proteus to the Imperial’s court. I think Crab4, my dog, be

the sourest-natured dog that lives: my mother weeping, my

father wailing, my sister crying, our maid howling, our cat

wringing her hands, and all our house in a great perplexity,

yet did not this cruel-hearted cur8 shed one tear: he is a stone,

a very pebble stone, and has no more pity in him than a dog.

A Jew10 would have wept to have seen our parting. Why, my

grandam, having no eyes, look you, wept herself blind at my

parting. Nay, I’ll show you the manner of it. This shoe12 is my

father. No, this left13 shoe is my father. No, no, this left shoe is

my mother.