(Sobs.)
Liss. So, now the Jade wants a little Coaxing; why,
what dost thou weep for now, my Dear? Ha!
Inis. I suppose Flora gave you that Ring; but I'll—
Liss. No, the Devil take me if she did, you make me
swear now—So, they are All for the Ring, but I shall
bob 'em: I did but joke, the Ring is none of mine, it
is my Master's; I am to give it to be new set, that's all;
therefore, prithee dry thy Eyes, and kiss me, come.
Enter Flora.
Inis. And do you really speak Truth now?
Liss. Why do you doubt it?
Flo. So, so, very well! I thought there was an Intrigue
between him and Inis, for all he has forsworn it so
often. (Aside.)
Inis. Nor han't you seen Flora since you came to Town.
Flo. Ha! How dares she name my Name? (Aside.)
Liss. No, by this Kiss I han't. (Kisses her.)
Flo. Here's a dissembling Varlet. (Aside.)
Inis. Nor don't you love her at all?
Liss. Love the Devil; why did not I always tell thee
she was my Aversion?
Flo. Did you so, Villain?
[Strikes him a Box on the Ear.
Liss. Zounds, she here! I have made a fine Spot of
Work on't. (Aside.)
Inis. What's that for? Ha.
[Brushes up to her.
Flo. I shall tell you by and by, Mrs. Frippery, if you
don't get about your Business.
Inis. Who do you call Frippery, Mrs. Trollop! Pray get
about your Business: If you go to that, I hope you pretend
to no Right and Title here.
Liss. What the Devil do they take me for, an Acre of
Land, that they quarrel about Right and Title to me? (Aside.)
Flo. Pray what Right have you, Mistress, to ask that
Question?
Inis. No matter for that, I can show a better Title to
him than you, I believe.
Flo. What, has he given thee nine Months earnest for
a living Title? Ha, ha.
Inis. Don't fling your flaunting Jests at me, Mrs. Boldface,
for I won't take 'em, I assure you.
Liss. So! Now am I as great as the fam'd Alexander.
But my dear Statira and Roxana, don't exert yourselves so
much about me: Now, I fancy, if you wou'd agree lovingly
together, I might, in a modest Way, satisfy both
your Demands upon me.
Flo. You satisfy! No, Sirrah, I am not to be satisfy'd
so soon as you think, perhaps.
Inis. No, nor I neither—What, do you make no
Difference between us?
Flo. You pityful Fellow, you; what, you fancy, I
warrant, that I gave myself the trouble of dogging you,
out of Love to your filthy Person; but you are mistaken,
Sirrah—It was to detect your Treachery.—How often have
you sworn to me that you hated Inis, and only carried fair
for the good Chear she gave you; but that you could never
like a Woman with crooked Legs, you said.
Inis. How, how, Sirrah, crooked Legs! Ods; I cou'd
find in my Heart.
[Snatching up her Petticoat a little.
Liss. Here's a lying young Jade now! Prithee, my
Dear, moderate thy Passion. (Coaxingly.)
Inis. I'd have you to know, Sirrah, my Legs was never—your
Master, I hope, understands Legs better than
you do, Sirrah. (passionately.)
Liss. My Master, so, so.
[Shaking his Head and winking.
Flo. I am glad I have done some Mischief, however. (Aside.)
Liss. (To Inis.) Art thou really so foolish to mind what
an enrag'd Woman says? Don't you see she does it on
purpose to part you and me? (runs to Flora) cou'd not you
find the Joke without putting yourself in a Passion! You
silly Girl you? why I saw you follow us plain enough,
Mun, and said all this, that you might not go back with
only your Labour for your Pains—But you are a revengeful
young Slut tho'. I tell you that, but come kiss, and be
Friends.
Flo. Don't think to coax me, hang your Kisses.
Fel. (Within) Lissardo.
Liss. Od'sheart, here's my Master; the Devil take both
these Jades for me, what shall I do with them?
Inis. Ha! 'Tis Don Felix's Voice; I wou'd not have
him find me here, with his Footman, for the World. (Aside.)
Fel. (Within) Why, Lissardo, Lissardo!
Liss. Coming Sir! What a Pox will you do?
Flo. Bless me, which Way shall I get out!
Liss. Nay, nay, you must e'en set your Quarrel aside,
and be content to be mew'd up in this Cloaths Press together,
and stay where you are, and face it out—there
is no help for it!
Flo. Put me any where, rather than that; come, come,
let me in.
[He opens the Press, and she goes in.
Inis. I'll see her hang'd, before I'll go into the Place
where she is.—I'll trust Fortune with my Deliverance:
Here us'd to be a Pair of back Stairs, I'll try to find them
out.
[Exit.
Enter Felix and Frederick.
Fel. Was you asleep, Sirrah, that you did not hear me
call?
Liss. I did hear you, and answer'd you, I was coming,
Sir.
Fel. Go get the Horses ready, I'll leave Lisbon to Night,
never to see it more.
Liss. Hey dey! What's the Matter now?
[Exit.
Fred. Pray tell me, Don Felix! What has ruffled your
Temper thus?
Fel. A Woman—Oh Friend, who can name Woman,
and forget Inconstancy!
Fred. This from a Person of mean Education were excusable,
such low Suspicions have their Source from vulgar
Conversation; Men of your politer Taste never rashly
censure.—Come, this is some groundless Jealousy—Love
raises many Fears.
Fel. No, my Ears convey'd the Truth into my Heart,
and Reason justifies my Anger: Violante's false, and I have
nothing left, but thee, in Lisbon, which can make me wish
ever to see it more, except Revenge upon my Rival, of
whom I am ignorant. Oh, That some Miracle would reveal
him to me, that I might thro' his Heart punish her
Infidelity.
Enter Lissardo.
Liss. Oh! Sir, here's your Father Don Lopez coming
up.
Fel. Does he know that I am here?
Liss. I can't tell, Sir, he ask'd for Don Frederick.
Fred. Did he see you?
Liss. I believe not, Sir, for as soon as I saw him, I ran
back to give my Master Notice.
Fel. Keep out of his Sight then.—And dear Frederick,
permit me to retire into the next Room, for I know the
old Gentleman will be very much displeased at my Return
without his Leave.
[Exit.
Fred. Quick, quick, be gone, he is here.
Enter Don Lopez, speaking as he enters.
Lop. Mr. Alguazil, wait you without till I call for you.
Frederick, an Affair brings me here—which—requires Privacy—So
that if you have any Body within Ear-shot, pray
order them to retire.
Fred. We are private, my Lord, speak freely.
Lop. Why then Sir, I must tell you, that you had better
have pitch'd upon any Man in Portugal to have injur'd,
than myself.
Fel. (Peeping) What means my Father?
Fred. I understand you not, my Lord!
Lop. Tho' I am old, I have a Son.—Alas! Why name I
him? He knows not the Dishonour of my House.
Fel. I am confounded! The Dishonour of his House.
Fred. Explain yourself my Lord! I am not conscious
of any dishonourable Action to any Man, much less to
your Lordship.
Lop. 'Tis false! you have debauched my Daughter.
Fel. Debauch'd my Sister! Impossible! He cou'd not,
durst not be that Villain.
Fred. My Lord, I scorn so foul a Charge.
Lop. You have debauch'd her Duty at least, therefore,
instantly restore her to me, or by St. Anthony I'll make
you.
Fred. Restore her my Lord! Where shall I find her?
Lop. I have those that will swear she is here in your
House.
Fel. Ha! In this House?
Fred. You are misinform'd, my Lord, upon my Reputation
I have not seen Donna Isabella, since the Absence
of Don Felix.
Lop. Then, pray Sir—If I am not too inquisitive,
what Motive had you for those Objections you made
against her Marriage with Don Guzman Yesterday?
Fred. The Disagreeableness of such a Match, I fear'd,
wou'd give your Daughter cause to curse her Duty, if she
comply'd with your Demand, that was all, my Lord!
Lop. And so you help'd her thro' the Window to make
her disobey.
Fel. Ha, my Sister gone! Oh Scandal to our Blood!
Fred. This is insulting me, my Lord, when I assure you
I have neither seen, nor know any thing of your Daughter—If
she is gone, the Contrivance was her own, and
you may thank your Rigour for it.
Lop. Very well, Sir; however, my Rigour shall make
bold to search your House: Here, call in the Alguazil.—
Flo. (Peeping) The Alguazil? What in the Name of
Wonder will become of me!
Fred. The Alguazil! My Lord, you'll repent this.
Enter Alguazil and Attendants.
Lop. No Sir, 'tis you that will repent it, I charge you,
in the King's Name, to assist me in finding of my Daughter.—Be sure
you leave no Part of the House unsearch'd;
come, follow me.
[Goes towards the Door where Felix
is; Frederick draws, and plants himself before
the Door.
Fred. Sir, I must first know by what Authority you
pretend to search my House, before you enter here.
Alg. How! Sir, dare you presume to draw your Sword
upon the Representative of Majesty! I am, Sir, I am his
Majesty's Alguazil, and the very Quintessence of Authority—therefore
put up your Sword, or I shall order you
to be knock'd down—for know, Sir, the Breath of an
Alguazil, is as dangerous as the Breath of a Demy-Culverin.
Lop. She is certainly in that Room, by his guarding
the Door—if he disputes your Authority, knock him
down, I say.
Fred. I shall show you some Sport first! The Woman
you look for is not here, but there is something in this
Room, which I'll preserve from your Sight at the Hazard
of my Life.
Lop. Enter, I say, nothing but my Daughter can be
there—Force his Sword from him.
[Felix comes out and joins Frederick.
Fel. Villains, stand off! Assassinate a Man in his own
House?
Lop. Oh, oh, oh, Misericordia, what do I see, my Son!
Alg. Ha, his Son! Here's five hundred Pounds good,
my Brethren, if Antonio dies, and that's in the Surgeon's
Power, and he's in love with my Daughter, you know—Don
Felix! I command you to surrender yourself into the
Hands of Justice, in order to raise me and my Posterity,
and in Consideration you lose your Head to gain me five
hundred Pounds, I'll have your Generosity recorded on
your Tomb-stone—at my own proper Cost and Charge—I
hate to be ungrateful.
Fred. Here's a generous Dog now—
Lop. Oh that ever I was born—Hold, hold, hold.
Fred. Did I not tell you, you wou'd repent, my Lord.
What ho! Within there (Enter Servants) Arm yourselves,
and let not a Man in, nor out, but Felix—Look ye,
Alguazil, when you wou'd betray my Friend for filthy
Lucre, I shall no more regard you as an Officer of Justice,
but as a Thief and Robber thus resist you.
Fel. Generous Frederick! Come on, Sir, we'll show you
Play for the five hundred Pounds.
Alg. Fall on, seize the Money right or wrong, ye
Rogues.
[They fight.
Lop. Hold, hold, Alguazil! I'll give you the five hundred
Pounds, that is, my Bond to pay it upon Antonio's
Death, and twenty Pistoles however Things go, for you
and these honest Fellows to drink my Health.
Alg. Say you so, my Lord! Why look ye, my Lord,
I bear the young Gentleman no ill Will, my Lord, if I
get but the five hundred Pounds, my Lord—Why, look
ye, my Lord—'Tis the same Thing to me whether your
Son be hanged or not, my Lord.
Fel. Scoundrels.—
Lop. Ay, well, thou art a good-natur'd Fellow, that
is the Truth on't—Come then, we'll to the Tavern,
and sign and seal this Minute: Oh Felix! be careful of
thyself, or thou wilt break my Heart.
[Exit Lopez, Alguazil and Attendants.
Fel. Now Frederick, tho' I ought to thank you for your
Care of me, yet, till I am satisfied about my Father's Accusation,
I can't return the Acknowledgments I owe you:
Know you aught relating to my Sister?
Fred. I hope my Faith and Truth are known to you—And
here by both I swear, I am ignorant of every Thing
relating to your Father's Charge.
Fel. Enough, I do believe thee! Oh Fortune! Where
will thy Malice end!
Enter Servant.
Ser. Sir, I bring you joyful News; I am told that Don
Antonio is out of Danger, and now in the Palace.
Fel. I wish it be true, then I'm at Liberty to watch my
Rival, and pursue my Sister? Prithee Frederick, inform
thyself of the Truth of this Report.
Fred. I will this Minute—Do you hear, let no body
in to Don Felix till my Return.
[Exit.
Ser. I'll observe, Sir.
[Exit.
Flo. (Peeping) They have almost frighted me out of
my Wits—I'm sure—Now Felix is alone, I have a good
Mind to pretend I came with a Message from my Lady;
but then how shall I say I came into the Cupboard. (Aside.)
Enter Servant, seeming to oppose the Entrance of
somebody.
Ser. I tell you, Madam, Don Felix is not here.
Vio. (Within) I tell you, Sir, he is here, and I will
see him. (breaks in) You are as difficult of Access, Sir, as
a first Minister of State.
Flo. My Stars! My Lady here!
[Shuts the Press close.
Fel. If your Visit was designed to Frederick, Madam,
he is abroad.
Vio. No, Sir, the Visit is to you.
Fel. You are very punctual in your Ceremonies, Madam.
Vio. Tho' I did not come to return your Visit, but to
take that which your Civility ought to have brought me.
Fel. If my Ears, my Eyes and my Understanding
ly'd, then I am in your Debt, else not, Madam.
Vio. I will not charge them with a Term so gross, to
say they ly'd, but call it a Mistake, nay, call it any thing
to excuse my Felix—Cou'd I, think ye, cou'd I put off
my Pride so far, poorly to dissemble a Passion which I did
not feel? Or seek a Reconciliation, with what I did not
love? Do but consider, if I had entertain'd another, shou'd
I not rather embrace this Quarrel, pleas'd with the Occasion
that rid me of your Visits, and gave me Freedom
to enjoy the Choice which you think I have made; have
I any Interest in thee but my Love? Or am I bound by
aught but Inclination to submit and follow thee—No
Law whilst single binds us to obey, but you by Nature
and Education, are oblig'd to pay a Deference to all Woman-kind.
Fel. These are fruitless Arguments. 'Tis most certain
thou wert dearer to these Eyes than all that Heaven e're
gave to charm the Sense of Man; but I wou'd rather tear
them out, than suffer 'em to delude my Reason, and enslave
my Peace.
Vio. Can you love without Esteem? And where is the
Esteem for her you still suspect? Oh Felix! There is a
Delicacy—in Love, which equals even a religious Faith;
true Love n'eer doubts the Object it adores, and Scepticks
there, will disbelieve their Sight.
Enter Servant.
Fel. Your Notions are too refin'd for mine, Madam.
How now, what do you want?
Ser. Only my Master's Cloak out of this Press, Sir,
that's all—Oh! the Devil, the Devil.
[Opens the Press, sees Flora, and roars out.
Vio. Ha, a Woman conceal'd! Very well, Felix!
Flo. Discover'd! Nay then Legs befriend me. (runs out.)
Fel. A Woman in the Press! (Enter Lissardo.)
How the Devil came a Woman there, Sirrah?
Liss. What shall I say now?
Vio. Now Lissardo shew your Wit to bring your
Master off.
Liss. Off Madam! Nay, nay, nay, there, there needs
no great Wit to, to, to, bring him off Madam, for she did,
and she did not come as, as, as, as, a, a, Man may say
directly to, to, to, to speak with my Master, Madam.
Vio. I see by your Stammering, Lissardo, that your Invention
is at a very low Ebb.
Fel. 'Sdeath, Rascal! speak without Hesitation, and the
Truth too, or I shall stick my Stilletto in your Guts.
Vio. No, no, your Master mistakes, he wou'd not have
you speak the Truth.
Fel. Madam, my Sincerity wants no Excuse.
Liss. I am so confounded between one and the other,
that I can't think of a Lye.— (Aside.)
Fel. Sirrah, fetch me this Woman back instantly, I'll
know what Business she had here!
Vio. Not a step; your Master shan't be put to the Blush—Come
a Truce, Felix! Do you ask me no more
Questions about the Window, and I'll forgive this.
Fel. I scorn Forgiveness where I own no Crime, but
your Soul, conscious of its Guilt, would fain lay hold of
this Occasion to blend your Treason with my Innocence.
Vio. Insolent! Nay, if instead of owning your Fault you
endeavour to insult my Patience, I must tell you, Sir, you
don't behave yourself like that Man of Honour you wou'd
be taken for, you ground your Quarrel with me upon
your own Inconstancy; 'tis plain you are false yourself,
and wou'd make me the Aggressor—It was not for nothing
the Fellow oppos'd my Entrance—This last Usage
has given me back my Liberty, and now my Father's Will
shall be obey'd without the least Reluctance.
[Exit.
Fel. Oh, stubborn, stubborn Heart, what wilt thou do?
Her Father's Will shall be obey'd? Ha! That carries her
to a Cloyster, and cuts off all my Hopes at once—By
Heaven she shall not, must not leave me! No, she is not
false, at least my Love now represents her true, because I
fear to lose her: Ha! Villain, art thou here: (turns upon
Lissardo) tell me this Moment who this Woman was,
and for what Intent she was here conceal'd—Or—
Liss. Ah, good Sir, forgive me, and I'll tell you the
whole Truth.
[falls on his Knees.
Fel. Out with it then—
Liss. It, it, it, was Mrs. Flora, Sir, Donna Violante's
Woman—you must know, Sir, we have had a sneaking
Kindness for one another a great while—She was not willing
you should know it, so when she heard your Voice,
she ran into the Cloaths-Press; I wou'd have told you
this at first, but I was afraid of her Lady's knowing it;
this is the Truth, as I hope for a whole Skin, Sir.
Fel. If it be not, I'll not leave you a whole Bone in it,
Sirrah—fly, and observe if Violante goes directly home.
Liss. Yes, Sir; yes.
Fel. I must convince her of my Faith: Oh! how irresolute
is a Lover's Heart! My Resentment cool'd when
hers grew high—Nor can I struggle longer with my Fate;
I cannot quit her, no I cannot, so absolute a Conquest
has she gain'd—Woman's the greatest sovereign Power
on Earth.
In vain Men strive their Tyranny to quit,
Their Eyes command, and force us to submit.
So have I seen a mettled Courser fly,
Tear up the Ground, and toss his Rider high,
Till some experienc'd Master found the Way,
With Spur and Rein to make his Pride obey.
Scene the Terreiro de passa.
Enter Colonel and Isabella veil'd.
Gibby at a Distance.
Col. Then you say, it is impossible for me to wait of
you home, Madam.
Isab. I say it is inconsistent with my Circumstance, Colonel,
and that Way impossible for me to admit of it.
Col. Consent to go with me then—I lodge at one Don
Frederick's, a Merchant just by here, he is a very honest
Fellow, and I dare confide in his Secrecy.
Isab. Ha, does he lodge there? Pray Heaven I am not
discover'd. (Aside.)
Col. What say you, my Charmer? shall we breakfast together;
I have some of the best Bohea in the Universe.
Isab. Pu! Bohea! Is that the best Treat you can give
a Lady at your Lodgings—Colonel!
Col. Well hinted—No, no, no, I have other Things
at thy Service, Child.
Isab. What are those Things pray?
Col. My Heart, Soul, and Body into the Bargain.
Isab. Has the last no Incumbrance upon it; can you
make a clear Title, Colonel?
Col. All Freehold, Child, and I'll afford thee a very
good Bargain. (embraces her.)
Gib. Au my Sol, they mak muckle Wards about it,
Ise seer weary with standing, Ise e'en tak a Sleep.
1 comment