I am very glad to hear it, sir. Here is the bill as we
settled it this very morning. I always thought, indeed, Mr Luckless
had a great deal of honesty in his principles: any man may be
unfortunate; but I knew when he had money I should have it; and what
signifies dunning a man when he hath it not? Now that is a way with
some people which I could never come in to.
Wit. There, madam, is your money. You may give Mr Luckless the
receipt.
Money. Sir, I give you both a great many thanks. I am sure it
is almost as charitable as if you gave it me; for I am to make up a
sum to-morrow morning. Well, if Mr Luckless was but a little soberer
I should like him for a lodger exceedingly: for I must say, I think
him a very pleasant good-humoured man.
SCENE X.—LUCKLESS, WITMORE, MONEYWOOD.
Luck. Those are words I never heard out of that mouth before.
Money. Ha, ha, ha! you are pleased to be merry: ha, ha!
Luck. Why, Witmore, thou hast the faculty opposite to that of a
witch, and canst lay a tempest. I should as soon have imagined one man
could have stopt a cannon-ball in its full force as her tongue.
Money. Ha, ha, ha! he is the best company in the world, sir,
and so full of his similitudes!
Wit. Luckless, good morrow; I shall see you soon again.
Luck. Let it be soon, I beseech you; for thou hast brought a
calm into this house that was scarce ever in it before.
SCENE XI.—LUCKLESS, MRS MONEYWOOD, JACK.
Money. Well, Mr Luckless, you are a comical man, to give one
such a character to a stranger.
Luck. The company is gone, madam; and now, like true man and
wife, we may fall to abusing one another as fast as we please.
Money. Abuse me as you please, so you pay me, sir.
Luck. 'Sdeath! madam, I will pay you.
Money. Nay, sir, I do not ask it before it is due. I don't
question your payment at all: if you was to stay in my house this
quarter of a year, as I hope you will, I should not ask you for a
farthing.
Luck. Toll, loll, loll.—But I shall have her begin with her
passion immediately; and I had rather be the object of her rage for a
year than of her love for half an hour.
Money. But why did you choose to surprise me with my money? Why
did you not tell me you would pay me?
Luck. Why, have I not told you?
Money. Yes, you told me of a play, and stuff: but you never
told me you would order a gentleman to pay me. A sweet, pretty,
good-humoured gentleman he is, heaven bless him! Well, you have
comical ways with you: but you have honesty at the bottom, and I'm
sure the gentleman himself will own I gave you that character.
Luck. Oh! I smell you now.—You see, madam, I am better than my
word to you: did he pay it you in gold or silver?
Money. All pure gold.
Luck. I have a vast deal of silver, which he brought me,
within; will you do me the favour of taking it in silver? that will be
of use to you in the shop too.
Money. Anything to oblige you, sir.
Luck.
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