“It’s not easy to prove anything to a woman who’s once taken an
idea into her head.”
“You’ve
only got to show me the letter.”
His
hand slipped from hers and he drew back and shook his head.
“You
won’t?”
“I
can’t.”
“Then
the woman who wrote it is your mistress.”
“No, dear. No.”
“Not now, perhaps. I suppose she’s trying to get you back,
and you’re struggling, out of pity for me. My poor Kenneth!”
“I
swear to you she never was my mistress.”
Charlotte felt the tears rushing to her eyes. “Ah,
that’s worse, then—that’s hopeless! The prudent ones are the kind
that keep their hold on a man. We all know that.” She lifted her hands
and hid her face in them.
Her
husband remained silent; he offered neither consolation nor denial, and at
length, wiping away her tears, she raised her eyes almost timidly to his.
“Kenneth,
think! We’ve been married such a short time. Imagine what you’re making me
suffer. You say you can’t show me this letter. You refuse even to explain it.”
“I’ve
told you the letter is on business. I will swear to that too.”
“A
man will swear to anything to screen a woman. If you want me to believe you, at
least tell me her name. If you’ll do that, I promise you I won’t ask to see the
letter.”
There
was a long interval of suspense, during which she felt her heart beating
against her ribs in quick admonitory knocks, as if warning her of the danger
she was incurring.
“I
can’t,” he said at length.
“Not
even her name?”
“No.”
“You
can’t tell me anything more?”
“No.”
Again
a pause; this time they seemed both to have reached the end of their arguments
and to be helplessly facing each other across a baffling waste of
incomprehension.
Charlotte stood breathing rapidly, her hands against
her breast. She felt as if she had run a hard race and missed the goal. She had
meant to move her husband and had succeeded only in irritating him; and this
error of reckoning seemed to change him into a stranger, a mysterious
incomprehensible being whom no argument or entreaty of hers could reach. The
curious thing was that she was aware in him of no hostility or even impatience,
but only of a remoteness, an inaccessibility, far more
difficult to overcome. She felt herself excluded, ignored, blotted out of his
life. But after a moment or two, looking at him more calmly, she saw that he
was suffering as much as she was. His distant guarded face was drawn with pain;
the coming of the gray envelope, though it always cast a shadow, had never
marked him as deeply as this discussion with his wife.
Charlotte took heart; perhaps, after all, she had not
spent her last shaft. She drew nearer and once more laid her hand on his arm. “Poor Kenneth! If you knew how sorry I am for you—”
She
thought he winced slightly at this expression of sympathy, but he took her hand
and pressed it.
“I
can think of nothing worse than to be incapable of loving long,” she continued;
“to feel the beauty of a great love and to be too unstable to bear its burden.”
He
turned on her a look of wistful reproach. “Oh, don’t say that of me. Unstable!”
She
felt herself at last on the right tack, and her voice trembled with excitement
as she went on: “Then what about me and this other woman? Haven’t you already
forgotten Elsie twice within a year?”
She
seldom pronounced his first wife’s name; it did not come naturally to her
tongue. She flung it out now as if she were flinging some dangerous explosive
into the open space between them, and drew back a step, waiting to hear the
mine go off.
Her
husband did not move; his expression grew sadder, but showed no resentment. “I
have never forgotten Elsie,” he said.
Charlotte could not repress a faint laugh. “Then, you
poor dear, between the three of us—”
“There
are not—” he began; and then broke off and put his hand to his forehead.
“Not
what?”
“I’m
sorry; I don’t believe I know what I’m saying. I’ve got a blinding headache.”
He looked wan and furrowed enough for the statement to be true, but she was
exasperated by his evasion.
“Ah, yes; the gray-envelope headache!”
She
saw the surprise in his eyes. “I’d forgotten how closely I’ve been watched,” he
said coldly. “If you’ll excuse me, I think I’ll go up and try an hour in the
dark, to see if I can get rid of this neuralgia.”
She
wavered; then she said, with desperate resolution: “I’m sorry your head aches.
But before you go I want to say that sooner or later this question must be
settled between us.
Someone
is trying to separate us, and I don’t care what it costs me to find out who it
is.” She looked him steadily in the eyes. “If it costs me your love, I don’t
care! If I can’t have your confidence I don’t want anything from you.”
He
still looked at her wistfully. “Give me time.”
“Time for what? It’s only a word to say.”
“Time to show you that you haven’t lost my love or my confidence.”
“Well,
I’m waiting.”
He
turned toward the door, and then glanced back hesitatingly. “Oh, do wait, my
love,” he said, and went out of the room.
She
heard his tired step on the stairs and the closing of his bedroom door above.
Then she dropped into a chair and buried her face in her folded arms. Her first
movement was one of compunction; she seemed to herself to have been hard,
unhuman, unimaginative.
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