I cannot keep count of them, though I have
tried conscientiously.
It is the strangest yellow, that wall-paper! It makes me think
of all the yellow things I ever saw—not beautiful ones like
buttercups, but old foul, bad yellow things.
But there is something else about that paper—the smell! I
noticed it the moment we came into the room, but with so much air
and sun it was not bad. Now we have had a week of fog and rain, and
whether the windows are open or not, the smell is here.
It creeps all over the house.
I find it hovering in the dining-room, skulking in the parlor,
hiding in the hall, lying in wait for me on the stairs.
It gets into my hair.
Even when I go to ride, if I turn my head suddenly and surprise
it—there is that smell!
Such a peculiar odor, too! I have spent hours in trying to
analyze it, to find what it smelled like.
It is not bad—at first, and very gentle, but quite the subtlest,
most enduring odor I ever met.
In this damp weather it is awful, I wake up in the night and
find it hanging over me.
It used to disturb me at first. I thought seriously of burning
the house—to reach the smell.
But now I am used to it. The only thing I can think of that it
is like is the COLOR of the paper! A yellow smell.
There is a very funny mark on this wall, low down, near the
mopboard. A streak that runs round the room. It goes behind every
piece of furniture, except the bed, a long, straight, even SMOOCH,
as if it had been rubbed over and over.
I wonder how it was done and who did it, and what they did it
for. Round and round and round—round and round and round—it makes
me dizzy!
I really have discovered something at last.
Through watching so much at night, when it changes so, I have
finally found out.
The front pattern DOES move—and no wonder! The woman behind
shakes it!
Sometimes I think there are a great many women behind, and
sometimes only one, and she crawls around fast, and her crawling
shakes it all over.
Then in the very bright spots she keeps still, and in the very
shady spots she just takes hold of the bars and shakes them
hard.
And she is all the time trying to climb through. But nobody
could climb through that pattern—it strangles so; I think that is
why it has so many heads.
They get through, and then the pattern strangles them off and
turns them upside down, and makes their eyes white!
If those heads were covered or taken off it would not be half so
bad.
I think that woman gets out in the daytime!
And I'll tell you why—privately—I've seen her!
I can see her out of every one of my windows!
It is the same woman, I know, for she is always creeping, and
most women do not creep by daylight.
I see her on that long road under the trees, creeping along, and
when a carriage comes she hides under the blackberry vines.
I don't blame her a bit. It must be very humiliating to be
caught creeping by daylight!
I always lock the door when I creep by daylight. I can't do it
at night, for I know John would suspect something at once.
And John is so queer now, that I don't want to irritate him. I
wish he would take another room! Besides, I don't want anybody to
get that woman out at night but myself.
I often wonder if I could see her out of all the windows at
once.
But, turn as fast as I can, I can only see out of one at a
time.
And though I always see her, she MAY be able to creep faster
than I can turn!
I have watched her sometimes away off in the open country,
creeping as fast as a cloud shadow in a high wind.
If only that top pattern could be gotten off from the under one!
I mean to try it, little by little.
I have found out another funny thing, but I shan't tell it this
time! It does not do to trust people too much.
There are only two more days to get this paper off, and I
believe John is beginning to notice. I don't like the look in his
eyes.
And I heard him ask Jennie a lot of professional questions about
me. She had a very good report to give.
She said I slept a good deal in the daytime.
John knows I don't sleep very well at night, for all I'm so
quiet!
He asked me all sorts of questions, too, and pretended to be
very loving and kind.
As if I couldn't see through him!
Still, I don't wonder he acts so, sleeping under this paper for
three months.
It only interests me, but I feel sure John and Jennie are
secretly affected by it.
Hurrah! This is the last day, but it is enough. John is to stay
in town over night, and won't be out until this evening.
Jennie wanted to sleep with me—the sly thing! but I told her I
should undoubtedly rest better for a night all alone.
That was clever, for really I wasn't alone a bit! As soon as it
was moonlight and that poor thing began to crawl and shake the
pattern, I got up and ran to help her.
I pulled and she shook, I shook and she pulled, and before
morning we had peeled off yards of that paper.
A strip about as high as my head and half around the room.
And then when the sun came and that awful pattern began to laugh
at me, I declared I would finish it to-day!
We go away to-morrow, and they are moving all my furniture down
again to leave things as they were before.
Jennie looked at the wall in amazement, but I told her merrily
that I did it out of pure spite at the vicious thing.
She laughed and said she wouldn't mind doing it herself, but I
must not get tired.
How she betrayed herself that time!
But I am here, and no person touches this paper but me—not
ALIVE!
She tried to get me out of the room—it was too patent! But I
said it was so quiet and empty and clean now that I believed I
would lie down again and sleep all I could; and not to wake me even
for dinner—I would call when I woke.
So now she is gone, and the servants are gone, and the things
are gone, and there is nothing left but that great bedstead nailed
down, with the canvas mattress we found on it.
We shall sleep downstairs to-night, and take the boat home
to-morrow.
I quite enjoy the room, now it is bare again.
How those children did tear about here!
This bedstead is fairly gnawed!
But I must get to work.
I have locked the door and thrown the key down into the front
path.
I don't want to go out, and I don't want to have anybody come
in, till John comes.
I want to astonish him.
I've got a rope up here that even Jennie did not find. If that
woman does get out, and tries to get away, I can tie her!
But I forgot I could not reach far without anything to stand
on!
This bed will NOT move!
I tried to lift and push it until I was lame, and then I got so
angry I bit off a little piece at one corner—but it hurt my
teeth.
Then I peeled off all the paper I could reach standing on the
floor. It sticks horribly and the pattern just enjoys it! All those
strangled heads and bulbous eyes and waddling fungus growths just
shriek with derision!
I am getting angry enough to do something desperate. To jump out
of the window would be admirable exercise, but the bars are too
strong even to try.
Besides I wouldn't do it. Of course not. I know well enough that
a step like that is improper and might be misconstrued.
I don't like to LOOK out of the windows even—there are so many
of those creeping women, and they creep so fast.
I wonder if they all come out of that wall-paper as I did?
But I am securely fastened now by my well-hidden rope—you don't
get ME out in the road there!
I suppose I shall have to get back behind the pattern when it
comes night, and that is hard!
It is so pleasant to be out in this great room and creep around
as I please!
I don't want to go outside. I won't, even if Jennie asks me
to.
For outside you have to creep on the ground, and everything is
green instead of yellow.
But here I can creep smoothly on the floor, and my shoulder just
fits in that long smooch around the wall, so I cannot lose my
way.
Why there's John at the door!
It is no use, young man, you can't open it!
How he does call and pound!
Now he's crying for an axe.
It would be a shame to break down that beautiful door!
"John dear!" said I in the gentlest voice, "the key is down by
the front steps, under a plantain leaf!"
That silenced him for a few moments.
Then he said—very quietly indeed, "Open the door, my
darling!"
"I can't," said I. "The key is down by the front door under a
plantain leaf!"
And then I said it again, several times, very gently and slowly,
and said it so often that he had to go and see, and he got it of
course, and came in. He stopped short by the door.
"What is the matter?" he cried. "For God's sake, what are you
doing!"
I kept on creeping just the same, but I looked at him over my
shoulder.
"I've got out at last," said I, "in spite of you and Jane. And
I've pulled off most of the paper, so you can't put me back!"
Now why should that man have fainted? But he did, and right
across my path by the wall, so that I had to creep over him every
time!
End of Project BookishMall.com's The Yellow Wallpaper, by Charlotte Perkins Gilman
*** END OF THIS PROJECT BookishMall.com EBOOK THE YELLOW WALLPAPER ***
***** This file should be named 1952-h.htm or 1952-h.zip *****
This and all associated files of various formats will be found in:
http://www.BookishMall.com/1/9/5/1952/
Produced by An Anonymous Volunteer, and David Widger
Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions
will be renamed.
Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no
one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation
(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without
permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules,
set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to
copying and distributing Project BookishMall.com-tm electronic works to
protect the PROJECT BookishMall.com-tm concept and trademark. Project
BookishMall.com is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you
charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission. If you
do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the
rules is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose
such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and
research. They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do
practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks. Redistribution is
subject to the trademark license, especially commercial
redistribution.
*** START: FULL LICENSE ***
THE FULL PROJECT BookishMall.com LICENSE
PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK
To protect the Project BookishMall.com-tm mission of promoting the free
distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work
(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project
BookishMall.com"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project
BookishMall.com-tm License (available with this file or online at
http://BookishMall.com/license).
Section 1.
1 comment