She kissed my cheek. She said I looked amazing. She winked at me. It was enough on its own, but when I replayed it the tenth or twelfth time, it hit me: she loved the song Double Agent.

Leaving nothing to chance, I grabbed my phone, looked up the definition, and came up with this:

Double Agent: a person who pretends to work for one side,

while secretly working for the other.

I wondered if Nicki was smart enough to pass me a message based on her knowledge of my musical taste, and decided she probably was. That’s what double agents do: they pass messages to the side they’re truly working for. She knew back in August my all-time favorite band was Rush. Favorite groups was one of the first questions she asked me. So she had plenty of time to come up with the song.

But was I reading too much into this? Could the song have been a coincidence? I hoped not, because I didn’t have to work too hard to read between the lines and deduce she was really saying as a double agent she was pretending to be with Michael while secretly wanting to be with me.

6.

Second Move

IF CHRISTMAS WAS her first move, her second came in late January, at Jessie’s birthday party. Jessie reveled in showing off Nicki to her friends, and once again Nicki came up with the perfect gift: Taylor Swift concert tickets. Jessie asked Nicki to take her.

“Are you sure?” Nicki said.

“Yes! One hundred percent! Please say yes. Please!”

“Okay, then: yes!”

After giving her a big hug, Jessie said, “Come with us to the theater room. We’re gonna watch Kardashian reruns!”

“I really didn’t come here to crash your party,” Nicki said, “but if you’re seriously inviting me—”

“I am! You have to! It’ll be so much fun!”

“In that case…absolutely!”

“Alison said, “Jess, I need to talk to Nicki a second.”

Jessie gave her a look, but Nicki said, “I’ll be right there.”

As Jess and her friends raced to claim their seats, Alison said, “Michael’s on his way.”

Nicki’s face fell. “I should go. I don’t want to cause any drama.”

“I know he’d love to see you.”

“Last time we talked, he said he wasn’t coming.”

“I think the only reason he’s coming is to see you.”

“How did he even know I’m here?”

“Jessie told him. He called to wish her happy birthday and she told him to hurry if he wanted to see you. She said she’d keep you here till he arrives.”

Nicki smiled. “That little scamp!”

Alison said, “I thought you should know. I didn’t want to put you in an awkward situation.”

“I wouldn’t want it to take away from Jess’s party.”

“It was her idea. She’s afraid if you and Michael break up she’ll never see you again.”

“That’s so sweet.”

“She loves you. We all do.”

“Well, okay then. I’ll stay. Thanks for telling me.”

I watched all this take place while clearing the dining room table as Alison rinsed the dishes. Then Alison asked me to cut the cookie cake, so I started that task and Nicki began arranging the pieces on a giant platter. Alison grabbed a bunch of plates and forks and said, “How many pieces are you up to?”

Nicki did a quick count. “Twenty.”

“That’s plenty. Can you bring the platter on your way to the theater room?”

“Of course.”

When Alison left the room Nicki picked up the platter, looked me dead in the eyes and said, “How about you, David? Do you want a piece?”

My first thought was: Omigod! She has no idea what she just said! But her knowing smile implied she knew exactly what she said.

“Um…are we talking about the cookie cake?”

“Is that what you want to talk about? The cookie cake?”

“Not necessarily.”

“You know what I think?”

“Tell me.”

“We need to talk. Bigtime.”

“I’d like that.”

“Yes,” she said. “I’m positive you will.”

Then she sighed, gave me a wistful look, and took the tray downstairs.

7.

Third Move

NICKI AND MICHAEL were back together again in February, and he brought her to see us for an overnight visit. I couldn’t help notice she was avoiding me, acting quite cold toward me. We only got one chance alone, and that lasted 30 seconds.

I said, “Is everything all right?”

“Is it?” she said.

“You seem upset.”

“You think?”

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m with Michael.”

“I noticed that.”

“You never called.”

“What?”

She turned and walked away.

8.

Fourth Move

NICKI SPENT MOST of her March visit hanging out with Jessie.