Plus, I have a friend who’s holding one in case something happens to me. I only showed you a small clip, but the video’s two hours long. Call me pessimistic, but I think it’s gonna make you look bad.”

“I don’t have two million dollars in liquid assets.”

“That’s okay. I’m not in a rush. But the sooner you pay me the less it’s gonna hurt.”

“Why’s that?”

“If you don’t pay up in seven days I’m going back to Michael. I’ll be part of the family again, and they’re gonna wonder why you’re acting so weird around me.”

“You’d do that to my son? Use him like that?”

“Michael loves to be used. As I said before, I only went back to him to get to you.”

“And this is what you meant?”

“Partly. But I’ve always loved you, David. That’s not gonna change.”

“You’re insane!”

She sighed. “See? This is why I said earlier you’d want to stop seeing me.”

I gave her a look. “I’m trying to understand. Are you saying you’d continue seeing me if that’s what I want?”

“Yes.”

“But I’d have to pay you two million dollars for the privilege.”

“That’s correct.”

“Would you expect more money down the line?”

“No. I think two million’s fair.”

“Oh, you do, do you?”

“Yes. I’m not greedy.”

“Would it come with a guarantee?”

“What do you mean?”

“For two million dollars I’d like a long-term relationship.”

“I think we’ve gotten off track. What I’m saying is you’re gonna pay me two million dollars whether we see each other or not. But if you still want to see me after that, I’m willing to try, because I love you. But if we’re being practical, it only seems likely you’re gonna come out of this experience with bitter feelings.”

“Ya think?”

“Yes. And if you change our relationship or change the way you treat me I’ll probably want to end things.”

“If I pay you two million in cash, you’re willing to keep fucking me. Is that what you’re saying?”

“No. Because I would never put it that crudely. But I would continue our sessions as if nothing had changed.”

“Right. And again, just to be clear, if I don’t come up with the money in seven days you’re going back to Michael?”

“Yes.”

“And you’re going to use him.”

“That’s correct.”

“You’re not a very nice person.”

“Don’t be mean.”

“Really? Don’t be mean? Let me tell you how this is going down, Nicki: I’m not paying you shit. If you show your tapes to my wife, or anyone else, I’ll have you arrested for blackmail.”

“I’m pretty sure that can’t happen unless you record me threatening you and demanding money. Otherwise it’ll look like we’ve been having an affair all these months and you broke up with me and I was so hurt I decided to punish you by showing Alison what you did.”

“I’m not going to pay you.”

“I think you will.”

“In case you haven’t noticed, my marriage isn’t all rose petals. I expect we’ll divorce when Jessie goes to college in two years anyway. But if it means saving two million dollars, I’m willing to break the news to Alison today.”

“I see.”

I smiled. “Face it, Nicki: you swung for the fences, but took your eyes off the ball. Extortion’s not for amateurs. You’re in over your head. I should be furious with you, but I’m willing to consider this an aberration in an otherwise excellent partnership.