It sits three feet off the ground, and is equipped with two propane tanks. Lettered on the lower right are the words Elkhardt Location Equipment, followed by a phone number with a 505 area code.

“A million dollars weighs less than you think,” Jefferson says.

“Excuse me?”

“I’m just saying, you might be surprised by the weight.”

“I work in a bank, remember?”

“You’ve held a million dollars in cash before?”

“Of course.”

“Really?”

“Not all at the same time.”

He nods. “That’s funny.” Then he adds, “A million dollars in hundred dollar bills weighs 20.4 pounds, not counting the weight of the straps around the bricks.”

“Bricks?”

“Each brick is a $50,000 bundle. There are twenty bricks in a million dollars.”

“I knew that.”

“Of course, the briefcase will add some weight.”

“Of course,” I say, trying to sound as though I have these sorts of conversations every day.

We look at each other a moment.

“You swear to God there’s a million dollars in that trailer, in a suitcase?”

He is either angry or impatient, and his face shows it.

“Briefcase,” he says.

“Really?”

“Really.”

I nod. “What do I have to do to get it?”

“Fuck Jinny Kidwell.”

 

 

 

 

Chapter 15

 

The one thing I know beyond all doubt is Jinny Kidwell is not in that trailer. Nor is there a million dollars in a briefcase in bricks of hundred dollar bills. But I also know I’m going to try to get past these guards and into the trailer, just to see how this thing plays out.

I take a deep breath, open the door, and approach the big eaters, fully expecting them to beat the living hell out of me. The first one holds me at bay with his ham hock of a hand while checking my face against a photo. After a few seconds, he passes it to the other guy, who studies it carefully, then says, “Your name?”

“Charles Pancake.”

“Says here, Buddy Pancake.”

“My nickname.”

“Social Security number?”

I tell him.

He nods, indicating the trailer door. I walk up the aluminum steps and knock.

The first thing I notice about Jinny Kidwell is how tiny she is, and how frail she appears. The next is her porcelain skin. I’m so stunned to be in her presence, I nearly fall backward off the steps.

“Buddy?” she says.

I try to speak, but my throat is pinched shut. All that emerges is a tiny mouse-like squeak. I feel my face redden, and clear my throat to hide my embarrassment. She flashes her radiant smile, the one that earns the big bucks, and says, “Please come in.”

I want to turn to see what’s happening behind me, in case Jefferson and the body guards are laughing or getting ready to kill me or to see if I’m being filmed for some sort of cruel reality show. But my eyes are glued to her face. When she steps back and opens the door I enter. She closes the door, locks it, and briefly presses her body against it. Her back is to me, and her head dips slightly. She moves to the window and stops a moment to place her hand on the window pane. Her shoulders sag slightly, and I hear her give off a small sigh. Then she closes the curtains. When at last she turns to face me, her eyes appear moist, but her expression is incredibly seductive.

She glances to her right, and I follow her gaze to see a couch located in one of the sections that extends outward, that gives the front of the trailer a three dimensional look. In front of the couch is a small coffee table that holds a cut-crystal tumbler filled with ice.

“Can I pour you a drink?”

Jinny Kidwell said that. Not some look-alike actress, body double, or high-tech hologram. Like Nicole Kidman, there is only one Jinny Kidwell, and her voice is as unique as her appearance. Often imitated by that talented comedian on Saturday Night Live, among others, no one can quite nail Jinny’s voice. It’s smoky like Demi Moore’s, but not as husky or deep. So this is her, and we’re in the same room, sharing the same air, and she’s offered me a drink, and the only thing I can think to say is, “Why?”

Her laughter seems sincere. She takes a seat in the chair across from me and says, “Why, what?”

I gesture at her, and shake my head.

“Seriously, what’s going on here?”

She starts to speak, then pauses, as if trying to formulate the proper words.