“So what’s the plan, Stan?”

“Excuse me?”

“We’ve got to get this thing done. What do you suggest?”

I’ve never had a woman stare at my manhood as if it were a snail on a plate. Nor have I ever had a conversation with anyone about it, while staring at it. I sigh. “Maybe we should just forget the whole thing.”

A sudden look of fear enters her eyes.

“It doesn’t work that way,” she says. “We have to do this.”

She starts breathing rapidly, as if she might hyper-ventilate. I reach out and place my hand on her shoulder.

“Hey, relax,” I say. “I can tell them we did it. No harm, no foul.”

She shook her head. “You don’t understand. I made an agreement. You have to perform!”

I look at my lap and mentally curse my dick.

Jinny says, “Give me a sec.”

She leaves the room a minute and comes back with a small bottle of water and a pill.

“Here,” she says, “take this.”

“What is it, Viagra?”

“No.”

I stare at the little pill in my hand. “Is it safe?”

“One is safe. Six is an addiction.”

“Will it help me perform?”

“It won’t hurt.”

I look into her gorgeous eyes. “Are you in some kind of trouble?”

“Please, just take the pill.”

I swallow it and set the glass down.

“Now what happens?” I say.

“You lie down and relax. I’ll turn on some music and we’ll see what happens.”

“Sounds good.”

Some time must have passed. I’m not aware of any time passing, but something must have happened, because I’m suddenly aware that Jinny Kidwell is bitch slapping me and calling me names.

No, wait. That’s not what happened.

I shake my head, trying to clear the cobwebs. I now realize she slapped me once, lightly, and said, “Focus, Buddy!”

“What happened?”

“You’re back!”

“How long was I out?”

“A couple minutes.”

“Sorry.”

“That’s okay. Hey, I have an idea!” Jinny says, brightly. “Have you ever acted before?”

“What, like in a play?”

“Uh huh.”

“Not really.”

“Well let me put a thought in your mind.”

“Okay.”

“You know I have love scenes with actors in my movies, right?”

“Uh huh.”

“Well, I know I’m married, and the actors know they’re married, but the way we get the public to believe our scenes is to pretend we’re not married.”

“That makes sense.”

“It does. And here’s the thing: Lissie doesn’t know you’re here. In two hours our lives will go back to what they were before we met. Lissie won’t know what we’ve done, and she’d never believe it anyway.”

“That’s certainly true.”

“I’m giving you a gift, Buddy. The most special gift I can give a man.”

I nod.

“And there’s something else,” she said.

“What’s that?”

“We’ve already seen each other naked, so the rest isn’t such a big deal.”

I look at her nakedness some more.

“I’ve got another idea,” she says.

I wait to hear it.

“I think it might help if I show you a view of my body that’s never been filmed.”

And she does.

Two minutes later, meaning our entire romantic encounter lasted maybe half that long—we talk about making movies, and the type of blouse and sandals she’d been wearing, and how hard it is to be her, with cameras in her face and people shouting and pushing every time she turns around. As she talks, her breasts rise and fall and I become swept up in her delicate beauty and—bless her heart—she allows me a mulligan, and this time I’m playing from the championship tees!

As our second hour comes to a close I feel as though I’ve known her all my life. We’re lying on her bed, gazing into each other’s eyes and she seems as if she’s about to cry.

“I’m so sorry,” she says.

“Sorry? About what?”

“What I’ve done.”

“You mean the pill?”

She places her palm on my cheek. “You’re a really nice guy, Buddy. I’m just…It’s…”

Suddenly she says, “Oh my God! I almost forgot!”

She slides off the bed and heads to her closet. It’s the first time I see her standing with her back to me, and she looks like a different person.