And they notice. Right after one of your parents’ friends compliments you on your excellent telephone manners is the perfect time to hit up your parents for a later curfew, a new video game, or your own cell phone. But the best reason to use the phone the right way is because it shows people that you are a great guy who does his best to treat people in a respectful way.
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YOU DO
Speak clearly and pleasantly.
YOU DON’T
Groan as if answering the telephone were the most painful thing you ever had to do, or as if answering this call were a horrible inconvenience. Even if you think it is.
Why
A gentleman is always at his best, not just when it is convenient.
YOU DO
Answer the phone by saying, “Hello,” “Hello, this is Jason” (if that is your name), or “Hello, this is the Johnson residence” (if Johnson is the last name of the people who live at the house).
YOU DON’T
Say, “Huh?” or “Speak to me,” or “What?”
Why
You want people to know whom they’re talking to and whether they’ve dialed the right number.
YOU DO
Put the phone down quietly, if the call isn’t for you, and then find the person whom the call is for.
YOU DON’T
Yell for your mom across the house. If there’s some really good reason you can’t leave what you were doing—and watching television is not a really good reason—you should put the phone on mute before shouting into the next room.
Why
Your hollering will disturb the other people in your house, and the person on the other end of the line may suffer severe hearing loss.
YOU DO
Be careful what you say when you answer the phone.
YOU DON’T
Tell the caller your dad can’t talk right now because he is using the bathroom.
Why
Because your dad will be mad, and because he will have so many chances to embarrass you later in life.
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It’s best just to say, “He can’t come to the phone now.” You say that because it’s the truth and because nobody wants to think about your dad using the bathroom.
YOU DO
Try to be careful to punch in the correct phone number. If you do make a mistake, you say, “I am sorry, I must have dialed the wrong number.”
YOU DON’T
Hang up without saying, “I’m sorry.”
Why
It is rude to interrupt somebody without apologizing. Also, they probably have caller ID and will call you back, and your parents will answer the phone, and then you will be really embarrassed.
YOU DO
Only call 911 for a big-time emergency. A “big-time emergency” is something like an accident or a fire. But it can also be a moment when you think something strange is going on around your house—like when you think maybe someone is trying to break in.
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YOU DON’T
Call 911 if the problem isn’t big-time serious. For example, if your sister throws a baseball and hits your arm, you can wait until your parents get a chance to deal with the bruise—and with your sister. If she hits you in the head and you are having trouble seeing or standing, however, you’d probably better call 911.
Why
If you call 911 for a problem that is not an emergency, you might be preventing someone else from getting the help he or she really needs. But whenever you think the situation is serious, go ahead and call 911. That is what it is for.
A gentleman puts the phone back on the charger when he is finished.
A gentleman does not monopolize the phone.
A gentleman does not eat, or slurp his drink, while he is on the phone.
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A gentleman does not eavesdrop on other people’s conversations.
A gentleman does not give out other people’s numbers without their permission.
A gentleman does not call other people late at night or early in the morning.
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Chapter 20
TAKING PHONE MESSAGES
Allow yourself to daydream for a moment. Ten years from now, a phone call comes in. Someone, let’s say your evil little sister, answers the call. It could be the Atlanta Braves calling to tell you to report to spring training. It might be Harvard telling you they need to ask you a question before they can send your acceptance letter. It could even be a great girl calling to tell you that she will go to the prom with you. What if your evil little sister doesn’t write down the message and forgets to tell you? Obviously, you could be stuck with a bad job and a bad school, and stuck without a date to the prom.
Maybe this scenario is a little extreme, but you have to treat every phone call you answer for the other members of your family like it was a call that could change somebody’s life. You should write down the message and make sure to leave it someplace where it will be seen. Every call may not be as important as that call from Harvard, but it is not your job to decide how important a message might be.
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YOU DO
Ask if you can take a message when the caller asks to speak to someone who isn’t home.
YOU DON’T
Give out more information than necessary. When someone calls and asks to speak to your mother, you don’t say, “My mom has gone to the office, so I’m the only one here.”
Why
It is never a good idea to volunteer unnecessary information, especially to a stranger.
YOU DO
Write the message down. If you aren’t sure how to spell a name, you ask the caller to spell it for you. Then you put the message in the place your family has designated as “message central.” You don’t just stick it in your back pocket.
YOU DON’T
Assume you will remember the message without writing it down. (Remember when you promised to take out the garbage and clean your room and write a note thanking your Aunt Louise for the underwear she sent you for your birthday?) When you get busy, it’s easy to forget things. Just write the message down.
Why
You may forget to give the message to the person who’s supposed to get it. For instance, if you forget to tell your sister that a boy has called to ask her to go to a dance, he may think she is stuck-up and doesn’t like him. Then your sister won’t have a date and your parents might make you take her—and you know how awful that would be.
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A gentleman uses his best handwriting when taking messages, especially when writing down telephone numbers.
A gentleman does not write down messages on walls or furniture or tablecloths, just because there is no paper close by. If he must leave the phone while he searches for paper, he asks the caller to hold on a minute.
A gentleman does not ask for information that is not his business when he takes a message. For instance, he does not ask, “Why would you be calling my dad?”
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Chapter 21
USING A CELL PHONE
Congratulations! You convinced your parents that you needed your own cell phone and are responsible enough to have one.
Now don’t mess up.
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