And don’t become one of those people who causes other people to wish that cell phones were never invented.
A cell phone can be a great thing. But it can also lead some people to forget their basic manners and annoy others.
Be sure to turn off your cell phone, or at least put the setting on vibrate, any time you really don’t have to use it. That means you turn it off in movies, in theaters, in restaurants, at concerts, and at school. You even turn it off when you are just hanging out with your friends, unless there is a chance your parents will be trying to get in touch with you.
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YOU DO
Follow your school’s rules governing the use of cell phones.
YOU DON’T
Download a ringtone adults are not supposed to be able to hear so you can break the rules.
Why
School rules exist for a reason: Cell phones can disrupt class. Also, if you break the rules, the school may confiscate your phone, and that will not make your parents happy.
YOU DO
Be respectful of others, even if your cell phone starts ringing.
YOU DON’T
Ignore the person you are talking with in order to make a call, or a receive a call, on your cell phone.
Why
It is rude to expect other people to stand around and wait while you are talking to somebody else on your cell. If you must answer your phone, you should simply tell the caller that you will have to call them back later. The only exception is a call that turns out to be a real emergency, or if it is your parents calling. If you are receiving a call that you think might be important, simply get up and leave the theatre or the table, as quietly as possible.
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YOU DO
Talk as quietly as you can when using your cell phone, especially when other people are close by.
YOU DON’T
Talk so loudly that other people can hear everything you are saying.
Why
Other people probably do not want to hear your conversation. (Nobody wants to hear why you can’t go to the mall. And you don’t want anybody else to hear that you can’t go to the mall because you left the toilet seat up and your little brother fell in and got stuck.) Keep your cell phone calls, and all your other personal conversations, to yourself. When you shout into your cell phone, you irritate other people, because you are invading their space. If the person you are talking to is having trouble hearing you, simply move away from other people, so you can speak up without intruding on the people around you.
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YOU DO
Respect the limits your parents set for your cell phone usage. That means you keep track of the number of minutes you use and the places from which you make your calls.
YOU DON’T
Whine when your parents take your phone away after you’ve made eight hours of calls one month, when your plan only allowed for two hours.
Why
You respect the limits your parents set, especially if they are paying the bill. Even if you are paying the bill yourself, they still get to set the limits. If they have told you that you can’t use your phone at school, and you get busted, be prepared to face the consequences.
YOU DO
Use your phone to text, play games, listen to music, and even make calls—but only when it does not bother other people.
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YOU DON’T
Text or use your phone in the movie theater.
Why
Even though you may not be making any noise at all, the light from your phone will disturb those sitting around you. If a gentleman must check a message, send a text, or make a call, he goes to the lobby of the theater to do so.
A gentleman limits his number of text messages to those allowed by his parents or his calling plan.
A gentleman knows that a cell phone is a luxury and a privilege. He does not use it to try to impress other people. He does not belittle other people who do not have cell phones.
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A gentleman knows that a cell phone is not a fashion accessory. If possible he puts it in his pocket and not on his belt loop.
A gentleman does not engage in loud cell phone conversations while standing in line in public places or while waiting for the bus. He does not shout into his phone as he walks around.
A gentleman keeps up with his cell phone. Even the most generous parent wearies of replacing lost or broken cell phones.
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Chapter 22
WINNING WELL
Do you suppose that Michael Jordan was a bad winner when he was a boy? Did he make fun of the players on the losing teams and the other kids who weren’t as talented as he was? Of course he didn’t. And neither did Peyton Manning, Derek Jeter, and Sidney Crosby, and most of the truly great sports champions. They were lucky enough to have parents and coaches who taught them that being a good winner is as important as winning the game.
You can be the best at baseball or soccer or spelling bees or video games. But if you make those against whom you are competing feel bad, they are not going to want to play with you, or against you—not because you are better than they are, but because you take all the fun out of the game. If you take all the fun out of the game, even if you win all the time, people won’t want to play on your team.
Bye-bye to fun—which is what competition is supposed to be all about.
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YOU DO
Say, “Good game,” to the other team or the person you are competing against.
YOU DON’T
Say, “Loser,” or “Sorry you played such a lame game,” or anything else that might make your competitor feel bad.
Why
You are going to lose one day yourself, and when that happens, you won’t want to be treated poorly. Bragging about yourself or insulting the losing team simply makes others feel bad, and it makes you look bad. Other guys’ parents are not going to want their kids to be around you. What’s more, your own parents are going to be so embarrassed they may deny you belong to them.
YOU DO
Say, “Thank you,” when someone compliments your skill.
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YOU DON’T
Say, “I could have done better,” or “I was holding back,” or anything other than “Thanks.”
Why
A gentleman knows how to accept a compliment. Being a good winner does not mean you can’t celebrate your victory. It is right for you to enjoy your success.
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