But it is also expected that a gentleman knows how to celebrate his success without making the other players feel inferior.
A gentleman knows that being a good winner also means having good sportsmanship.
A gentleman knows how to accept a compliment about a game well played.
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Chapter 23
LOSING WELL
“Losing builds character.”
“Losing makes you try harder the next time.”
“You’ll never be a loser if you always give it your best effort.”
Let’s be honest. Losing stinks.
We all know that because we’ve all lost before, and we will probably lose again. However, you will also win again at something—hopefully, more times than you lose.
But whether you’re competing in baseball, chess, spelling bees, student council elections, or the Olympics, how you lose is really just as important as how you win.
Nobody likes the guy who claims that the other guy or the other team was lucky or cheated or that he just let them win. That kind of guy is going to be one lonely person.
You want to be the guy who, when he loses, will congratulate his opponent, even if he or she did just get lucky or even if the referee did make a bad call or even if you didn’t give your best effort. When you get home, you can put all your anger and frustration into making yourself a better third baseman or chess player or high jumper. You will become a better athlete and competitor, and you will be a person whom others will want to compete with.
YOU DO
Say, “Good game,” or “Congratulations,” to the winner of any competition in which you’ve been involved.
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YOU DON’T
Give up because you lost. If you are just playing to win, you are missing out on the true meaning of competition.
Why
No one wants to lose. But, if you tried hard and had a good time and learned something and spent time with some good people—you’ve still had a positive experience.
A gentleman does not throw a fit when a call does not go his way or when he loses.
A gentleman does not stop making the best effort halfway through a competition, even if he thinks it is obvious he is going to lose.
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Chapter 24
HOW TO ACT IN PLACES WHERE YOU ARE BORED
Every gentleman, at some time or another, is going to be in a place where he is bored. It is a part of growing up. It doesn’t just happen to young guys; it happens to adults as well. If you are smart, you will start learning how to cope with a boring situation. Otherwise you will simply make the situation worse. Whether it is a play, a wedding, a fiftieth anniversary party, a dinner in a fancy restaurant with a bunch of adults, or a really boring science class, you are going to have to go places that you don’t find all that exciting or very much fun. There’s nothing wrong with being bored. But it is wrong to act bored and hurt other people’s feelings. Knowing the difference is often what separates the gentlemen from the immature kids.
YOU DO
Try to keep your eyes focused on the stage at a play or a concert that your parents have made you attend.
YOU DON’T
Squirm in your seat so that everybody sitting close to you knows you are bored.
Why
You do not want to distract other people from enjoying the performance. Many of them may actually want to be there. Your parents may not enjoy going to all your ball games, but they’d never let you know it. Try to put yourself in their place.
YOU DO
Know that even the most boring experience of your life will be over before too long.
YOU DON’T
Sigh and continually check your watch or repeatedly ask, “How much longer before we can go? Do we have to stay for the whole thing?” You may think you’re making the time move more quickly, but you’re only making the situation worse.
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Why
You will be letting people know that you are not mature enough to handle the situation. If you can sit quietly though an incredibly boring experience, people will respect you for your grown-up manners, not to mention your patience.
YOU DO
Find ways to occupy your mind in situations where you are bored.
YOU DON’T
Occupy yourself in ways that distract others, such as cracking your knuckles or whispering or humming to yourself.
Why
Not everybody else is bored, just because you are. Your dad may think you’re actually enjoying the ballet. He doesn’t have to know what’s really going on in your mind.
A gentleman does not assume that his own boredom gives him permission to distract those around him.
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A gentleman does not hurt the feelings of others by complaining about his boredom, before, during, or after an event.
No matter how bored he may be, a gentleman never whines.
A gentleman does not chew gum in church, in the theater, or at the table.
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Chapter 25
HOW TO BEHAVE IN A MOVIE THEATER
Which is worse?
1. Talking to your friends during a movie.
2. Talking back to the screen during a movie.
3. Talking on your cell phone during a movie.
Obviously, this is a trick question. All three of them are rude, ungentlemanly ways to behave. Any one of them can ruin the movie-going experience for the rest of the audience.
There’s one simple reason people spend their money to go to a movie: They expect to have fun. They do not expect to have to listen to the conversations of the people sitting around them. The only people they want to hear talking are the people up on the screen.
Even your friends will think you’re obnoxious if you continue to talk, rustle your popcorn, or slurp your soda during the movie. The next time you say, “Want to go with me to a movie?” they may simply tell you, “Sorry.
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