And some reactions can even be fatal. Some people also decline to eat certain foods because it is against their religious beliefs.

If you are one of these people, you probably already know it, and your parents probably keep close watch on the food that is served in your house or the food that is ordered when your family goes to a restaurant. But your parents are not with you every time you sit down at the table. When you’re visiting a friend’s home, having dinner with your soccer team after practice, or even eating at the school cafeteria, you may sometimes be offered foods that you simply cannot, or do not, eat.

The situation can sometimes be a little awkward. For example, when you’re at your best friend’s house for dinner, you may discover that his mother is serving barbecued shrimp—and you are allergic to shellfish. You don’t want to insult your friend’s mother, but you don’t want to spend the night in the emergency room, either.

It would be wrong for you to risk your health to avoid hurting someone’s feelings. So your only option is to tell your friend’s mom, as nicely as possible, that you cannot eat shrimp because you have a food allergy or because your family does not eat shrimp. There is no reason to give any more details.

You may be able to avoid this situation, however, by letting your friend know in advance that there are things you cannot eat.

YOU DO

Tell your buddy, when he invites you over for dinner, that you can’t eat fish or peanuts or cheese—whatever it is that you cannot eat. It might even be a good idea for your mom or dad to call your friend’s parents beforehand, so they can discuss your dietary restrictions.

YOU DON’T

Wait until you sit down at the table at your friend’s house to announce that there are foods you cannot eat.

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Why

Your friend’s family wants you to have a good time and enjoy your meal. If they haven’t been made aware of your dietary restrictions, they will be disappointed, and you may end up going home hungry.

YOU DO

Say, “I’m afraid I’m allergic to shellfish, but these potatoes and green beans look great.”

YOU DON’T

Expect your friend’s parents to go back to the kitchen and prepare a separate meal for you. They aren’t running a restaurant, after all.

Why

A gentleman would never keep the rest of the family from proceeding with their dinner. Just for once, it won’t hurt you to ask for a second helping of green beans.

A gentleman never gives in to peer pressure to try something that he knows he couldn’t or shouldn’t eat.

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Chapter 33

DEALING WITH FOODS YOU DON’T LIKE

Some guys will eat anything. They will eat squid or liver. They will eat Thai food or Mexican food or Chinese food or Indian food. You name it, they’ll eat it. They would probably eat dirt or worms if somebody served it to them.

Life may not be that easy for you. You may be the type of guy who would prefer to live off nothing but chicken fingers and pizza, with french fries as the vegetable course. That doesn’t mean, however, that you still can’t act like a gentleman at mealtime.

There will be a time when you’re going to go to a restaurant that doesn’t serve chicken fingers. Or you will be sitting down for dinner at a friend’s house and be served Brussels sprouts. When that dilemma arises, you could try to get out of the situation by saying, “I’m sorry. I’m allergic to Brussels sprouts.” But it’s unlikely anybody will buy that excuse—especially your mom or dad.

You do not have to eat Brussels sprouts, especially if the very sight of them makes you sick. But you will have to learn how to turn down dishes you don’t like, without hurting somebody else’s feelings or throwing a tantrum at the table.

YOU DO

Say, “I think I’ll pass on the okra. This corn looks great. I’ll have more of that, please.” But you only need to say that if somebody asks you why you’re not eating the okra. If nobody raises the question, simply pass the bowl along to the next person and enjoy the corn.

YOU DON’T

Say, “I don’t like okra. It makes me vomit.”

Why

Nobody at the table wants to hear you talk about what makes you sick. Just proceed to enjoy the dishes you do like, so it will be clear to your host that you are having a great time.

YOU DO

Sample a small portion of a dish you have never tried before.

YOU DON’T

Assume you must finish the entire serving, if you hate it. You never try to hide what you didn’t eat under a lettuce leaf or a piece of bread. And you never try to stuff it in your napkin. Simply leave the uneaten food on your plate.

Why

Your host will give you credit for at least trying the dish.