If this happens, a gentleman tells the server, “Thank you.”
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Chapter 30
USING THE CORRECT FORK
Sometimes, when you come to the table—especially at the holidays, or in a fancy restaurant—you will find a lot of forks set out in front of you. You may want to ask, “Hey, what’s the deal with all the forks? Is somebody just trying to get me to mess up?”
Relax. Forks are no big deal. Most of the time, there will be only two of them. You use one of them (the smaller one) to eat your salad, and you use the other one to eat the rest of your meal. If there are a lot more forks on the table, just do what the adults do. Saying, “Hey, I’m just a kid,” is not your best defense. If you don’t want to be treated like a kid, try not to act like one.
Unless the person who set the table has got it wrong, the forks will always be set in the same way: The salad fork will be on the outside. The dinner fork will be on the inside, next to the plate.
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That makes sense, because you eat your salad first, so your salad fork is the first one you pick up. When it comes to choosing the correct fork, always start with the one on the outside. When you’re finished with that fork, use the next one. If you start on the outside and work your way in, you’ll always be safe.
When you are finished with your salad, you put your salad fork on your salad plate, and leave it there.
When you are finished with your dinner, you put your dinner fork on the plate, alongside your knife.
When it comes time for dessert, you will probably be offered a clean fork with which to eat it—especially if you’re eating in a restaurant. If you’re eating at somebody else’s house, however, and if they don’t offer you a new fork, just watch the adults at the table and do what they do.
YOU DO
Put your fork on your plate if you must set it down. While you are eating, you put it on your plate.
YOU DON’T
Put your fork back on the table after you have used it.
Why
A dirty fork gets food on the table or the tablecloth.
YOU DO
Be cool if you accidentally start eating your salad with your dinner fork.
YOU DON’T
Freak out and make a big deal about it. Most likely, no one will notice.
Why
Everybody makes mistakes. People will have more respect for you if you keep your cool when you make a mistake—especially a little one, like picking up the wrong fork.
And finally, just one more time, to make sure you’ve got it right: When it comes to using your forks, you start from the outside and work your way in toward your plate. Stick with that one rule, and you’ll be doing the right thing the whole way through dinner.
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If a gentleman drops his fork on the floor, he asks for a new one to replace it.
If a gentleman comes to the table and finds that his silverware has been wrapped in a napkin, he unrolls the napkin and sets the forks in their correct places.
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Chapter 31
USING A KNIFE AND FORK
There are two ways to use your knife and fork. One is called the American style. The other is called the Continental style. Either one is correct, so you get to figure out which one works best for you.
In the American style, you start with your fork in your left hand and your knife in your right. After you have cut off a bite of food, you put your knife down on your plate. (You only cut the bite you are going to eat right then; you do not cut up your entire steak at one time.) Then you move the fork from your left hand to your right hand before you put the bite of food in your mouth.
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In the Continental style (Continental means it was invented in Europe), you keep your fork in your left hand all the way through the meal. You still cut your food the same way, as in the American style. The only difference is that after you put down your knife, you don’t move the fork to your right hand.
Again, either style is fine. It’s your choice. When it comes to good manners, there may not be many times when you’re given a chance to choose what you want to do. So choose your knife-and-fork style wisely.
YOU DO
Put your knife and your fork on your plate after you have used them.
YOU DON’T
Put your knife, your fork, or any other utensil back on the table after you’ve used it.
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Why
Dirty utensils make a mess of the table.
A gentleman may ask for a steak knife at a restaurant.
A gentleman never asks for a steak knife at a private home, if he has not been offered one. Such a request is a not-very-nice way of saying “The meat you have served me is tough.”
A gentleman does not use his dinner knife to cut the butter, if a butter knife has been provided.
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Chapter 32
REFUSING FOODS YOU CAN’T EAT
There are perfectly good reasons why some people can’t eat certain foods. A lot of people have allergic reactions to foods such as shellfish, nuts, or even dairy products. The reactions might make them sick.
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