They may even be asking themselves, “Should we even bother putting him in the will?”or “Why should we be worrying about sending him to college? He can’t even say ‘please.’”
Start practicing now:
At the breakfast table, you don’t say, “Can I have some cereal?”
Instead, you say, “May I have some cereal, please?”
If somebody asks, “Do you want sugar on your cereal?” you don’t say, “Yeah.”
Instead, you say, “Yes, please.”
If you’re on a crowded elevator, you don’t say, “Can somebody over there press nine?”
Instead, you say, “Would someone press nine, please?”
If you come to the door, and your hands are full, you don’t say, “Hey! Somebody get the door!” Instead, you say, “Would you hold the door open for me, please?”
“Please” is a lot like HD televisions, the newest gaming system, and having cash in your pocket. It makes the world a nicer place to live in.
Learn how to use it, and start using it now. It will take you far.
YOU DO
Say “please” any time you are asking someone to do something for you. That means, when you’re in a restaurant, you say to the waiter, “May I have another soda, please?”
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YOU DON’T
Assume, just because other people are doing their jobs, that you don’t have to show appreciation for their efforts.
Why
One day you will realize that you should be as nice to the person who opens the door for you at Trump Tower as you would be to Donald Trump himself. If you learn that now, you will be way ahead of the game.
A gentleman knows that “please” and “thank you” go together like nachos and cheese.
A gentleman says “please” to anyone offering him assistance. It does not matter if he is being offered an order of fries or free tickets to a football game.
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Chapter 2
SAYING “THANK YOU”
Saying “Thank you” is just as easy—and as important—as saying “please.” Remember how easy it was to play T-ball? Saying “thank you” is that easy. You say, “Thank you,” any time anyone does something nice or helpful for you.
When someone holds an elevator door open for you—you say, “Thank you.”
When someone tells you that you are the smartest young man they have ever met—you say, “Thank you.”
When someone gives you a new video game—you say, “Thank you.”
When someone hands you a saltshaker—you say, “Thank you.”
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YOU DO
Say, “Thank you,” whenever anybody says something nice to you—even if you are not sure you’re being paid a compliment.
YOU DON’T
Ask, “Is that supposed to be a compliment?”
Why
When people tell you that you look just like your grandfather, they are trying to say something nice. Even if you don’t think being compared to someone who has lost most of his hair is a compliment—it is. Just say, “Thank you.” It will make your grandfather very happy.
YOU DO
Say, “Thank you,” whenever someone gives you a gift, even if you are not crazy about it.
YOU DON’T
Laugh or frown or do anything else that gives the impression that you do not like the gift.
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Why
You are not always going to like every gift you receive. Every young gentleman has an aunt who gives him underwear or a godparent who buys him things that are four years too young for him. But it is always important to say, “Thank you.” You don’t have to pretend that you love something you don’t like. But saying, “Thank you for thinking of me,” gets the job done. And you are still letting people know that you appreciate them and their thoughtfulness.
YOU DO
Say, “Thank you,” when your mom hands you your allowance, when the person behind the counter at the fast food restaurant gives you your chicken nuggets, and when your dad helps you with your homework.
YOU DON’T
Assume, just because you’re used to getting your allowance, picking up your chicken nuggets, or having help with your homework, that you don’t need to say, “Thanks.”
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Why
It is important to be nice to people who do nice things for you—whether it is fixing your dinner or smiling when they hand you your chicken nuggets. When people treat you well and they see you behaving like a gentleman in return, they will be proud to know their efforts haven’t been lost on you.
A gentleman does not put a price tag on his saying “thank you.” He says, “Thank you,” for small acts of kindness, just as he does for the big ones.
A gentleman knows that a simple “Thank you” is usually fine. There is never any need to go on and on.
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Chapter 3
SAYING “EXCUSE ME”
Whether you are stepping in front of someone in a store, or sneezing or burping, or trying to get another person’s attention, “Excuse me” is a phrase you will need to use for the rest of your life.
It doesn’t matter whether you are a young man or an old man. You are going to burp or pass gas or get the hiccups. You are going to have to step around other people on airplanes, at the movies, or in the bleachers at a ball game. You are going to have to interrupt someone to ask a question or ask for help. It just happens.
Saying “Excuse me” is the right thing to do, in all these situations. It doesn’t matter whether you’re getting in someone else’s space, whether you’ve created an odor that smells like a dead animal, or whether you need to interrupt somebody to ask for directions. “Excuse me” is always the right thing to say.
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You don’t need to say, “I’m sorry,” because you haven’t done anything wrong—unless you have been rude and walked in front of somebody at the movies and stood there so long he or she missed half the show. That’s when you need to say, “I’m sorry.” But most of the time, “Excuse me” is all you need to say.
YOU DO
Try to wait until you can get outdoors before you pass gas. At least try to get to a room where you will be the only one breathing the air for a while.
YOU DON’T
Assume, just because you can say, “Excuse me,” that it’s Okay for you to pass gas, no matter where you are.
Why
Accidents happen. But if it’s not an accident, you’re just being rude, and it won’t take long for people to figure out that they don’t want to be trapped in a room with you.
YOU DO
Say, “Excuse me,” when you have to interrupt someone, like the librarian at your school who may be reading a book (that’s what librarians do), to ask for help in locating the book you need for your homework.
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YOU DON’T
Just stand around and wait fifteen minutes, hoping the librarian will finally notice you standing there.
Why
It is perfectly all right to ask a question. “Excuse me” was invented for moments like this—when you need to get someone’s attention.
A gentleman never uses the words “Hey,” “Hey you,” “Hey dude,” or any phrase that starts with the word “hey” when he is trying to get another person’s attention. He says, “Excuse me.”
A gentleman does his best to control all bodily functions in public. That way, he will not have to say “Excuse me” all the time.
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Chapter 4
MAKING AN APOLOGY
There are plenty of times in life when you will want to say, “I’m sorry.” When we make mistakes, it is best to go ahead and admit them. You may need to say, “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings,” “I’m sorry I left my pocket knife on the couch and you sat on it,” “I’m sorry I used the last of the toilet paper and forgot to put in a new roll,” or even “I’m sorry I spit in the air and the wind caught it and it hit you in the face.”
You probably can make your own list of times when you will need to say, “I’m sorry”—because everybody makes mistakes and does stupid things. A gentleman tries to make as few mistakes as possible, and if you are lucky, as you get older, you won’t make mistakes quite so often. If you try not to make the same mistakes twice, you will be relieved that you don’t have to say, “I’m sorry,” again and again.
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