That’s why it’s important to know how to react to that thick book or snowman sweater.
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YOU DO
Say, “Thank you,” for any gift you receive.
YOU DON’T
Claim to be truly excited by a gift that is not what you wanted. (Saying, “Thank you,” is enough. Just make sure you don’t roll your eyes and groan and say, “What made you think I wanted an old book about history?”)
Why
All you need to do is acknowledge that somebody has been kind to you. Simply saying, “Thank you,” and following up with a thank-you note (see page) is all you are expected to do.
YOU DO
Accept someone’s gift gratefully, even if it isn’t something you wanted.
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YOU DON’T
Ask where the gift came from, so that you can take it back and get something you really want.
Why
Simply asking that question makes it clear that you don’t like the gift, and that would hurt somebody’s feelings, which would be rude. A gentleman is never rude—at least, not on purpose.
A gentleman does not measure the worth of a gift by how much it cost.
A gentleman says, “Thank you,” for every gift he receives, whether it is something he loves or something he hates.
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If a gentleman receives a gift he already has, he does not say, “Gee. I’ve already got one of these.” Instead, he simply says “Thank you”—and means it.
A gentleman never says, “You shouldn’t have,” when someone presents him with a gift.
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Chapter 16
ACCEPTING A GIFT YOU LIKE
Big checks
The right gift cards
Clothes you really like
CDs by bands you like
Video games you want
If you are lucky, and we bet you are, you have someone in your life who gives really cool presents. It might be an uncle or a godmother or a grandfather or a family friend who always gets it right. Maybe she or he gives presents like the ones listed above. If you have a person like this in your life, count your blessings. It is always exciting to open a package from someone who puts a lot of thought into gifts. Try to learn a lesson from this person, so that, when you are giving gifts, you can give the most thoughtful gifts possible. And, yes, it is cool to love a gift. But there are a few things to keep in mind even when accepting a gift you really, really like.
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YOU DO
Say, “Thank you,” to the gift giver, as soon as you open the present.
YOU DON’T
Start raving about how much you love this gift—especially if somebody else in the room has given a gift you didn’t like as much.
Why
It is Okay to love a gift, but is not Okay to compare one gift with another, especially if both gift givers are sitting there in front of you. If you start comparing gifts, somebody’s feelings are bound to get hurt. When you write your thank-you note (and you will write a thank-you note, of course), you can let the gift giver know how much you really like the gift. The thank-you note is like a private conversation between you and the person you are sending it to. Nobody else will know what you have said, and nobody’s feelings will be bruised.
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At his birthday, or at the holidays, a gentleman does not make a scene if he does not receive every gift he has asked for.
A gentleman does not brag about the expensive gifts he has received. He knows that different families live on different budgets and have different traditions.
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Chapter 17
WRITING A THANK-YOU NOTE
When someone does something nice for you or gives you a gift, you thank that person. It is the right thing to do.
And doing the right thing will always pay off. If you have good manners, your friends’ parents will be more likely to be comfortable with your being around their kids. When you get older, good manners will help you get a better job and have a better life.
Writing a thank-you note will demonstrate that you have the best manners possible. You will be showing people how much you appreciate them. You are not doing it because your mom and dad are forcing you to. You are doing it because you are a thoughtful guy. And that will really impress people. It will also have a lot to do with what they think of you and how they treat you.
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YOU DO
Write a thank-you note for gifts you receive.
YOU DON’T
Assume that, just because you said, “Thank you,” when you opened the gift, you have done enough.
Why
When somebody has put time, effort, or money into giving you a gift, writing a thank-you note is the right way to show your appreciation.
YOU DO
Write a thank-you note on a note card.
YOU DON’T
Write a thank-you note on a piece of notebook paper or on your computer, even if you use fancy fonts.
WHY
You are not a six-year-old. You are old enough to have your own stationery. If you don’t know what type of cards you need, you might ask your parents to help you pick them out. Better yet, ask to get your own supply with your name on it. People will be very impressed.
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YOU DO
Write a thank-you note to your friend’s parents if they took you out to eat at a nice restaurant or on an out-of-town trip.
YOU DON’T
Write a thank-you note to your friend’s parents if they simply made you a grilled cheese sandwich when you were over at their house.
Why
There are limits to how many thank-you notes you have to write.
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