Wontner, lying more or less gracefully at
the level of the chandelier in the arms of six subalterns, was lecturing
on tactics and imploring to be let down, which he was with a run when they
realised that the Colonel was there. Then he picked himself up from the
sofa and said: ‘I want to apologise, sir, to you and the Mess for having
been such an ass ever since I joined!’
This was when the noise began.
Seeing the night promised to be wet, Stalky and I went home again in
The Infant’s car. It was some time since we had tasted the hot air that
lies between the cornice and the ceiling of crowded rooms.
After half an hour’s silence, Stalky said to me: ‘I don’t know what
you’ve been doing, but I believe I’ve been weepin’. Would you put that
down to Burgundy or senile decay?’
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Rudyard Kipling
A Diversity of Creatures
The Children
These were our children who died for our lands: they were dear in our
sight.
We have only the memory left of their home-treasured sayings and
laughter.
The price of our loss shall be paid to our hands, not another’s
hereafter.
Neither the Alien nor Priest shall decide on it. That is our right.
But who shall return us the children?
At the hour the Barbarian chose to disclose his pretences,
And raged against Man, they engaged, on the breasts that they bared for
us,
The first felon-stroke of the sword he had long-time prepared for
us—
Their bodies were all our defence while we wrought our defences.
They bought us anew with their blood, forbearing to blame us,
Those hours which we had not made good when the Judgment o’ercame
us.
They believed us and perished for it. Our statecraft, our learning.
Delivered them bound to the Pit and alive to the burning
Whither they mirthfully hastened as jostling for honour.
Not since her birth has our Earth seen such worth loosed upon her.
Nor was their agony brief, or once only imposed on them.
The wounded, the war-spent, the sick received no exemption:
Being cured they returned and endured and achieved our redemption,
Hopeless themselves of relief, till Death, marvelling, closed on them.
That flesh we had nursed from the first in all cleanness was
given
To corruption unveiled and assailed by the malice of Heaven—
By the heart-shaking jests of Decay where it lolled on the wires—
To be blanched or gay-painted by fumes—to be cindered by fires—
To be senselessly tossed and retossed in stale mutilation
From crater to crater. For this we shall take expiation.
But who shall return us our children?
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Rudyard Kipling
A Diversity of Creatures
The Dog Hervey
(April 1914)
My friend Attley, who would give away his own head if you told him you
had lost yours, was giving away a six-months-old litter of Bettina’s pups,
and half-a-dozen women were in raptures at the show on Mittleham lawn.
We picked by lot. Mrs. Godfrey drew first choice; her married daughter,
second. I was third, but waived my right because I was already owned by
Malachi, Bettina’s full brother, whom I had brought over in the car to
visit his nephews and nieces, and he would have slain them all if I had
taken home one. Milly, Mrs. Godfrey’s younger daughter, pounced on my
rejection with squeals of delight, and Attley turned to a dark,
sallow-skinned, slack-mouthed girl, who had come over for tennis, and
invited her to pick. She put on a pince-nez that made her look like a
camel, knelt clumsily, for she was long from the hip to the knee, breathed
hard, and considered the last couple.
‘I think I’d like that sandy-pied one,’ she said.
‘Oh, not him, Miss Sichliffe!’ Attley cried. ‘He was overlaid or had
sunstroke or something. They call him The Looney in the kennels. Besides,
he squints.’
‘I think that’s rather fetching,’ she answered. Neither Malachi nor I
had ever seen a squinting dog before.
‘That’s chorea—St. Vitus’s dance,’ Mrs. Godfrey put in. ‘He ought to
have been drowned.’
‘But I like his cast of countenance,’ the girl persisted.
‘He doesn’t look a good life,’ I said, ‘but perhaps he can be patched
up.’ Miss Sichliffe turned crimson; I saw Mrs. Godfrey exchange a glance
with her married daughter, and knew I had said something which would have
to be lived down.
‘Yes,’ Miss Sichliffe went on, her voice shaking, ‘he isn’t a good
life, but perhaps I can—patch him up. Come here, sir.’ The misshapen beast
lurched toward her, squinting down his own nose till he fell over his own
toes. Then, luckily, Bettina ran across the lawn and reminded Malachi of
their puppyhood. All that family are as queer as Dick’s hatband, and fight
like man and wife. I had to separate them, and Mrs. Godfrey helped me till
they retired under the rhododendrons and had it out in silence.
‘D’you know what that girl’s father was?’ Mrs. Godfrey asked.
‘No,’ I replied. ‘I loathe her for her own sake. She breathes through
her mouth.’
‘He was a retired doctor,’ she explained. ‘He used to pick up stormy
young men in the repentant stage, take them home, and patch them up till
they were sound enough to be insured.
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