Under the
skylight in the roof, which showed nothing but an oblong piece of
dull gray sky, there stood an old battered red footstool. Sara
went to it and sat down. She seldom cried. She did not cry now.
She laid Emily across her knees and put her face down upon her
and her arms around her, and sat there, her little black head
resting on the black draperies, not saying one word, not making
one sound.
And as she sat in this silence there came a low tap at the door—
such a low, humble one that she did not at first hear it, and,
indeed, was not roused until the door was timidly pushed open and
a poor tear-smeared face appeared peeping round it. It was
Becky's face, and Becky had been crying furtively for hours and
rubbing her eyes with her kitchen apron until she looked strange
indeed.
"Oh, miss," she said under her breath. "Might I—would you
allow me—jest to come in?"
Sara lifted her head and looked at her. She tried to begin a
smile, and somehow she could not. Suddenly—and it was all
through the loving mournfulness of Becky's streaming eyes—her
face looked more like a child's not so much too old for her
years. She held out her hand and gave a little sob.
"Oh, Becky," she said. "I told you we were just the same—only
two little girls—just two little girls. You see how true it is.
There's no difference now. I'm not a princess anymore."
Becky ran to her and caught her hand, and hugged it to her
breast, kneeling beside her and sobbing with love and pain.
"Yes, miss, you are," she cried, and her words were all broken.
"Whats'ever 'appens to you—whats'ever—you'd be a princess all
the same—an' nothin' couldn't make you nothin' different."
8 - In the Attic
*
The first night she spent in her attic was a thing Sara never
forgot. During its passing she lived through a wild, unchildlike
woe of which she never spoke to anyone about her. There was no
one who would have understood. It was, indeed, well for her that
as she lay awake in the darkness her mind was forcibly
distracted, now and then, by the strangeness of her surroundings.
It was, perhaps, well for her that she was reminded by her small
body of material things. If this had not been so, the anguish of
her young mind might have been too great for a child to bear.
But, really, while the night was passing she scarcely knew that
she had a body at all or remembered any other thing than one.
"My papa is dead!" she kept whispering to herself. "My papa is
dead!"
It was not until long afterward that she realized that her bed
had been so hard that she turned over and over in it to find a
place to rest, that the darkness seemed more intense than any she
had ever known, and that the wind howled over the roof among the
chimneys like something which wailed aloud. Then there was
something worse. This was certain scufflings and scratchings and
squeakings in the walls and behind the skirting boards. She knew
what they meant, because Becky had described them. They meant
rats and mice who were either fighting with each other or playing
together. Once or twice she even heard sharp-toed feet scurrying
across the floor, and she remembered in those after days, when
she recalled things, that when first she heard them she started
up in bed and sat trembling, and when she lay down again covered
her head with the bedclothes.
The change in her life did not come about gradually, but was
made all at once.
"She must begin as she is to go on," Miss Minchin said to Miss
Amelia. "She must be taught at once what she is to expect."
Mariette had left the house the next morning. The glimpse Sara
caught of her sitting room, as she passed its open door, showed
her that everything had been changed. Her ornaments and luxuries
had been removed, and a bed had been placed in a corner to
transform it into a new pupil's bedroom.
When she went down to breakfast she saw that her seat at Miss
Minchin's side was occupied by Lavinia, and Miss Minchin spoke to
her coldly.
"You will begin your new duties, Sara," she said, "by taking
your seat with the younger children at a smaller table. You must
keep them quiet, and see that they behave well and do not waste
their food. You ought to have been down earlier. Lottie has
already upset her tea."
That was the beginning, and from day to day the duties given to
her were added to. She taught the younger children French and
heard their other lessons, and these were the least of her
labors. It was found that she could be made use of in numberless
directions.
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