She could be sent on errands at any time and in all
weathers. She could be told to do things other people neglected.
The cook and the housemaids took their tone from Miss Minchin,
and rather enjoyed ordering about the "young one" who had been
made so much fuss over for so long. They were not servants of
the best class, and had neither good manners nor good tempers,
and it was frequently convenient to have at hand someone on whom
blame could be laid.
During the first month or two, Sara thought that her willingness
to do things as well as she could, and her silence under
reproof, might soften those who drove her so hard. In her proud
little heart she wanted them to see that she was trying to earn
her living and not accepting charity. But the time came when she
saw that no one was softened at all; and the more willing she was
to do as she was told, the more domineering and exacting careless
housemaids became, and the more ready a scolding cook was to
blame her.
If she had been older, Miss Minchin would have given her the
bigger girls to teach and saved money by dismissing an
instructress; but while she remained and looked like a child, she
could be made more useful as a sort of little superior errand
girl and maid of all work. An ordinary errand boy would not have
been so clever and reliable. Sara could be trusted with
difficult commissions and complicated messages. She could even
go and pay bills, and she combined with this the ability to dust
a room well and to set things in order.
Her own lessons became things of the past. She was taught
nothing, and only after long and busy days spent in running here
and there at everybody's orders was she grudgingly allowed to go
into the deserted schoolroom, with a pile of old books, and study
alone at night.
"If I do not remind myself of the things I have learned, perhaps
I may forget them," she said to herself. "I am almost a scullery
maid, and if I am a scullery maid who knows nothing, I shall be
like poor Becky. I wonder if I could QUITE forget and begin to
drop my H'S and not remember that Henry the Eighth had six
wives."
One of the most curious things in her new existence was her
changed position among the pupils. Instead of being a sort of
small royal personage among them, she no longer seemed to be one
of their number at all. She was kept so constantly at work that
she scarcely ever had an opportunity of speaking to any of them,
and she could not avoid seeing that Miss Minchin preferred that
she should live a life apart from that of the occupants of the
schoolroom.
"I will not have her forming intimacies and talking to the other
children," that lady said. "Girls like a grievance, and if she
begins to tell romantic stories about herself, she will become an
ill-used heroine, and parents will be given a wrong impression.
It is better that she should live a separate life—one suited to
her circumstances. I am giving her a home, and that is more than
she has any right to expect from me."
Sara did not expect much, and was far too proud to try to
continue to be intimate with girls who evidently felt rather
awkward and uncertain about her. The fact was that Miss
Minchin's pupils were a set of dull, matter-of-fact young people.
They were accustomed to being rich and comfortable, and as Sara's
frocks grew shorter and shabbier and queerer-looking, and it
became an established fact that she wore shoes with holes in them
and was sent out to buy groceries and carry them through the
streets in a basket on her arm when the cook wanted them in a
hurry, they felt rather as if, when they spoke to her, they were
addressing an under servant.
"To think that she was the girl with the diamond mines, Lavinia
commented. "She does look an object. And she's queerer than
ever. I never liked her much, but I can't bear that way she has
now of looking at people without speaking—just as if she was
finding them out."
"I am," said Sara, promptly, when she heard of this. "That's
what I look at some people for. I like to know about them. I
think them over afterward."
The truth was that she had saved herself annoyance several times
by keeping her eye on Lavinia, who was quite ready to make
mischief, and would have been rather pleased to have made it for
the ex-show pupil.
Sara never made any mischief herself, or interfered with anyone.
She worked like a drudge; she tramped through the wet streets,
carrying parcels and baskets; she labored with the childish
inattention of the little ones' French lessons; as she became
shabbier and more forlorn-looking, she was told that she had
better take her meals downstairs; she was treated as if she was
nobody's concern, and her heart grew proud and sore, but she
never told anyone what she felt.
"Soldiers don't complain," she would say between her small, shut
teeth, "I am not going to do it; I will pretend this is part of a
war."
But there were hours when her child heart might almost have
broken with loneliness but for three people.
The first, it must be owned, was Becky—just Becky. Throughout
all that first night spent in the garret, she had felt a vague
comfort in knowing that on the other side of the wall in which
the rats scuffled and squeaked there was another young human
creature. And during the nights that followed the sense of
comfort grew. They had little chance to speak to each other
during the day. Each had her own tasks to perform, and any
attempt at conversation would have been regarded as a tendency to
loiter and lose time. "Don't mind me, miss," Becky whispered
during the first morning, "if I don't say nothin' polite. Some
un'd be down on us if I did. I MEANS 'please' an' 'thank you'
an' 'beg pardon,' but I dassn't to take time to say it."
But before daybreak she used to slip into Sara's attic and
button her dress and give her such help as she required before
she went downstairs to light the kitchen fire. And when night
came Sara always heard the humble knock at her door which meant
that her handmaid was ready to help her again if she was needed.
During the first weeks of her grief Sara felt as if she were too
stupefied to talk, so it happened that some time passed before
they saw each other much or exchanged visits.
1 comment