It made them the more
pitiful. For it was pitiful to clamour to be allowed to become a pimp
in order to evade debts that would never be reclaimed...
Now, in the empty rooms at Lincoln's Inn--for that was probably what
it came to!--that man was a grey ball of mist; a grey bear rolling
tenebrously about an empty room with closed shutters. A grey problem!
Calling to her!
A hell of a lot...Beg pardon, she meant a remarkably great
deal!...to have thought of in ten seconds! Eleven, by now, probably.
Later she realized that that was what thought was. In ten minutes after
large impassive arms had carried you away from a telephone and
deposited you on a clamped bench against a wall of the peculiar
coldness of torpedo-grey distempered plaster, the sort of thing
rejoiced in by Great Public (Girls') Schools...in those ten minutes you
found you thought out more than in two years. Or it was not as long ago
as that.
Perhaps that was not astonishing. If you had not thought about, say,
washable distemper for two years and then thought about it for ten
minutes you could think a hell of a lot about it in those ten minutes.
Probably all there was to think. Still, of course, washable distemper
was not like the poor--always with you. At least it always was in those
cloisters, but not spiritually. On the other hand you always were with
yourself!
But perhaps you were not always with yourself spiritually; you went
on explaining how to breathe without thinking of how the life you were
leading was influencing your...What? Immortal soul? Aura?
Personality?...Something!
Well, for two years...Oh, call it two years, for goodness'
sake, and get it over!...she must have been in ...well, call
that a 'state of suspended animation' and get that over too! A
sort of what they called inhibition. She had been
inhibiting--prohibiting--herself from thinking about herself.
Well, hadn't she been right? What had a b----y Pro-German to think
about in an embattled, engrossed, clamouring nation: especially when
she had not much liked her brother-Pro's! A solitary state, only to be
dissolved by...maroons! In suspension!
But...Be conscientious with yourself, my good girl! When that
telephone blew you out of its mouth you knew really that for two years
you had been avoiding wondering whether you had not been insulted!
Avoiding wondering that. And nothing else! No other qualified
thing.
She had, of course, been, not in suspension, but in suspense.
Because, if he made a sign--I understand,' Edith Ethel had said, 'that
you have not been in correspondence'...or had it been 'in
communication' that she had said?...Well, they hadn't been
either...
Anyhow, if that grey Problem, that ravelled ball of grey knitting
worsted, had made a sign she would have known that she had not been
insulted. Or was there any sense in that?
Was it really true that if a male and female of the same species
were alone in a room together' and the male didn't...then it was an
insult? That was an idea that did not exist in a girl's head without
someone to put it there, but once it had been put there it became a
luminous veracity! It had been put into her, Valentine Wannop's, head,
naturally by Edith Ethel, who equally naturally said that she did not
believe it, but that it was a tenet of...oh, the man's wife! Of the
idle, surpassing-the-Lily-and-Solomontoo, surprisingly svelte, tall,
clean-run creature who for ever on the shiny paper of illustrated
journals advanced towards you with improbable strides along the
railings of the Row, laughing, in company with the Honourable Somebody,
second son of Lord Someone-or-other...Edith Ethel was more refined. She
had a title, whereas the other hadn't, but she was pensive. She showed
you that she had read Walter Savage Landor, and had only very
lately given up wearing opaque amber beads, as affected by the later
pre-Raphaelites. She was practically never in the illustrated papers,
but she held more refined views. She held that there were some men who
were not like that--and those, all of them, were the men to whom Edith
Ethel accorded the entrée to her Afternoons. She was
their Egeria! A refining influence!
The Husband of the Wife then? Once he had been allowed in Edith
Ethel's drawing room: now he wasn't!...Must have deteriorated!
She said to herself sharply, in her 'No nonsense, there' mood:
'Chuck it. You're in love with a married man who's a Society wife
and you're upset because the Titled Lady has put into your head the
idea that you might "come together again". After ten years!'
But immediately she protested:
'No. NO. No! It isn't that. It's all right the habit of putting
things incisively, but it's misleading to put things too crudely.'
What was the coming together that was offered her? Nothing, on the
face of it, but being dragged again into that man's intolerable worries
as unfortunate machinists are dragged into wheels by belts--and all the
flesh torn off their bones! Upon her word that had been her first
thought. She was afraid, afraid, afraid! She suddenly appreciated the
advantages of nunlike seclusion. Besides she wanted to be bashing
policemen with bladders in celebration of Eleven Eleven!
That fellow--he had no furniture; he did not appear to recognize the
hall porter...Dotty. Dotty and too morally deteriorated to be admitted
to drawing-room of titled lady, the frequenters of which could be
trusted not to make love to you on insufficient provocation, if left
alone with you...
Her generous mind reacted painfully.
'Oh, that's not fair!' she said.
There were all sorts of sides to the unfairness. Before this War,
and, of course, before he had lent all his money to Vincent Macmaster
that--that grey grizzly had been perfectly fit for the
country-parsonage drawing-room of Edith Ethel Duchemin: he had been
welcomed there with effusion!...After the War and when his money
was--presumably exhausted, and his mind exhausted, for he had no
furniture and did not know the porter...After the War, then, and when
his money was exhausted he was not fit for the Salon of Lady
Macmaster--the only Lady to have a Salon in London.
It was what you called kicking down your ladder!
Obviously it had to be done. There were such a lot of these
bothering War heroes that if you let them all into your Salon it would
cease to be a Salon, particularly if you were under an obligation to
them!...That was already a pressing national problem: it was going to
become an overwhelming one now--in twenty minutes' time; after those
maroons. The impoverished War Heroes would all be coming back.
Innumerable. You would have to tell your parlourmaid that you weren't
at home to...about seven million!
But wait a minute...Where did they just stand?
He...But she could not go on calling him just He like a school-girl
of eighteen, thinking of her favourite actor ...in the purity of her
young thoughts. What was she to call him? She had never--even when they
had known each other--called him anything other than Mr So and So...She
could not bring herself to let her mental lips frame his name...She had
never used anything but his surname to this grey thing, familiar object
of her mother's study, seen frequently at tea-parties...Once she had
been out with it for a whole night in a dog-cart! Think of that!...And
they had spouted Tibullus one to another in moonlit mist.
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