Hayes' white stocking served for a line, and bump, bump,
they went against the door. Each effort was watched with different degrees
of interest by the ladies. When little Dubois toddled forward, and sprang
with what little impetus his short legs could give him, it was difficult
not to laugh, and when Montgomery's reed-like shanks were seen passing,
Kate clung to Miss Leslie in fear that he would crush his frail body
against the door; but when it came to the turn of any of the big ones, the
excitement was great. Mortimer and Bret were watched eagerly, but most
faith was placed in Dick, not only for his greater weight, but for his
superior and more plucky way of jumping. Springing from the very middle of
the passage, his head back and his shoulder forward, he went like a
thunderbolt against the door. It seemed wonderful that he did not bring
down the wall as well as the woodwork, and a round of applause rewarded
each effort. Hayes, who fancied himself in bed, and that the waiter was
calling him at some strange hour in the morning, shouted occasionally the
most fearful of curses from his dark corner. The noise was terrific, and
the clapping of hands, shrieks of laughter, and cries of encouragement
reverberated through the echoing passage and the silent moonlight.
At last Dick's turn came again, and enraged by past failures, he put forth
his whole strength and jumped from the white stocking with his full weight
against the door. It gave way with a crash, and at that moment the
proprietor appeared, holding a candle in his hand.
Everybody made a rush, and picking up Dick, who was not in the least hurt,
they struck matches on the wall and groped their way up to their rooms,
heedless of the denunciations of the enraged proprietor, who declared that
he would take an action against them all. In his dressing-gown, and by the
light of his candle, he surveyed his dismantled threshold, thinking how he
might fasten up his house for the night. The first object he caught sight
of was Mr. Hayes' white stocking. As he did so a wicked light gleamed in
his eyes, and after a few efforts to awake the drunkard he walked to the
gateway and looked up and down the street to see if a policeman were in
sight. In real truth he was doubtful as to his rights to lock visitors out
of their hotel, and, did not feel disposed to discuss the question before a
magistrate. But what could be said against him for requesting the removal
of a drunken man? He did not know who he was, nor was he bound to find out.
So argued the proprietor of the Hen and Chickens, and Mr. Hayes, still
protesting he did not want to be called before ten, was dragged off to the
station.
Next morning the hotel-keeper denied knowing anything whatever about the
matter. It was true he had called the policeman's attention to the fact
that there was a man asleep under the archway, but he did not know that the
man was Mr. Hayes. This story was rejected by the company, and vowing that
they would never again go within a mile of his shop, they all went to see
poor Hayes pulled out before the beak. It was a forty-shilling affair or
the option of a week, and in revenge, Dick invited last night's party to
dinner at a restaurant. They weren't going to put their money into the
pocket of that cad of an inn-keeper. Hayes was the hero of the hour, and he
made everybody roar with laughter at the way in which he related his
experiences. But after a time Dick, who had always an eye to business, drew
his chair up to Mortimer's, and begged of him to try to think of some
allusions to the adventures which could be worked into the piece. The
question was a serious one, and until it was time to go to the theatre the
art of gagging was warmly argued. Dubois held the most liberal views. He
said that after a certain number of nights the author's words should be
totally disregarded in favour of topical remarks. Bret, who was slow of
wit, maintained that the dignity of a piece could only be maintained by
sticking to the text, and cited examples to support his opinion. It was,
however, finally agreed that whenever Mortimer came on the stage, he should
say, 'Derby isn't a safe place to get drunk in,' and that Dubois should
reply, 'Rather not.'
Owing to these little emendations, the piece went with a scream, the
receipts were over a hundred, and Morton and Cox's Operatic Company, having
done a very satisfactory week's business, assembled at the station on
Sunday morning bound for Blackpool.
Kate and Dick jumped into a compartment with the same people as before,
plus a chorus-girl who was making up to Montgomery in the hopes of being
allowed to say on the entrance of the duke, 'Oh, what a jolly fellow he
is!' Mortimer shouted to Hayes, who always went with the pipe-smokers, and
Dick spoke about the possibility of producing some new piece at Liverpool.
Dubois, Mortimer, Bret, and the chorus-girl settled down to a game of nap.
Dick, Leslie, and Montgomery were singing tunes or fragments of tunes to
each other, and talking about 'effects' that might be introduced into the
new piece. But would Dick produce a new piece?
The conversation changed, and it was asked if no money could be saved this
trip in the taking of the tickets, and Dick was closely questioned as to
when, in his opinion, it would be safe to try their little plant on again.
Instead of answering he leant back, and gradually a pleasant smile began to
trickle over his broad face. He was evidently maturing some plan.
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