But besides these
distractions there was a tall thin man who kept nudging away at Dick's
elbow, begging of him to come over to his place, and saying that he would
give him as good a glass of whisky as he had ever tasted. Nobody knew who
the man was, but Dick thought he had met him somewhere up in the North.
'I've been about, gentlemen, in America, and in France, and I lead a
bachelor life. My house is across the way, and if you'll do me the honour
to come in and have a glass with me, I shall feel highly honoured. If
there's one thing I do enjoy more than another, it's the conversation of
intellectual men, and after the performance of to-night I don't see how I
can do better than to come to you for it. But,' he continued gallantly, 'if
I said just now that I was a bachelor, it is, I assure you, not because I
dislike the sex. My solitary state is my misfortune, not my fault, and if
these ladies will accompany you, gentlemen, need I say that I shall be
charmed and honoured?'
'We'll do the honouring and the ladies will do the charming,' Mortimer
said, and on these words the whole party followed the tall thin man to his
house, a small affair with a porch and green blinds such as might be rented
by a well-to-do commercial traveller.
The furniture was mahogany and leather, and when the sideboard was opened,
the acrid odour of tea and the sickly smells of stale bread and rank butter
were diffused through the room; but these were quickly dominated by the
fumes of the malt. A bottle of port was decanted for the ladies. To the
host nothing was too much trouble; his guests must eat as well as drink,
and he went down to the kitchen and helped the maid-servant to bring up all
the eatables that were in the house—some cold beef and cheese—and after
having partaken of these the company stretched themselves in their chairs.
Hayes drank his whisky in silence, while Montgomery, his legs thrown over
the arm of his chair, tried to get in a word concerning the refrain of a
comic song he had just finished scoring; but as the song was not going to
be sung in any of the pieces they were touring with, no one was interested,
and Mortimer's talk about the regeneration of the theatre was becoming so
boring that Leslie and Beaumont had begun to think of bedtime, and might
have taken their departure if Dubois had not said that all the great French
actresses had lovers and that the English would do well to follow their
examples. A variety of opinions broke forth, and everyone seemed to wake
up; anecdotes were told that brought the colour to Kate's cheeks and made
her feel uncomfortable. Dubois had lived a great deal in France; it was not
certain that he had not acted in French, and sitting with his bishop's hat
tilted on the back of his head, he related that Agar had described George
Sand as a sort of pouncing disease that had affected her health more than
all her other lovers put together. Dubois was declared to have insulted the
profession; Dick agreed that Dubois did not know what he was talking
about—George Sand was a woman, not a man—and Montgomery, who had a
sister-in-law starring in Scotland, refused to be appeased until he was
asked to accompany Leslie and Bret in a duet. The thin man, as everybody
now called him, said he had never been so much touched in his life, a
statement which Beaumont did her best to justify by going to the piano and
singing three songs one after another. The third was a signal for
departure, and while Montgomery vowed under his breath that it was quite
enough to have to listen to Beaumont during business hours, Dick tried to
awaken Hayes. He had fallen fast asleep. Their kind host said that he would
put him up for the night, but the mummers thought they would be able to get
him home. So, bidding the kindest of farewells to their host, whom they
hoped they would see the following evening at the theatre, they stumbled
into the street, pushing and carrying the drunken man between them. It was
very hard to get Hayes along; every ten or a dozen yards he would insist on
stopping in the middle of the roadway to argue the value and the sincerity
of the friendship his comrades bore for him. Mortimer strove to pacify him,
saying that he would stand in a puddle all night if by doing so he might
prove that he loved him, and Dubois entreated him to believe him when he
said that to sit with him under a cold September moon talking of the dear
dead days would be a bliss that he could not forego. But the comedian's
jokes soon began to seem idle and flat, and the ladies proposed to walk on
in front, leaving the gentlemen to get their friend home as best they
could.
'You're thinking of your beds,' Dick cried, and that reminded him that the
hotel-keeper had told him that he shut his doors at eleven and would open
them for no one before morning.
'What are we to do?' asked Leslie; 'it's very cold.'
'We'll ring him up,' said Dubois.
'But if he doesn't answer?' suggested Bret.
'I'll jolly soon make him answer,' said Dick. 'Now then, Hayes, wake up,
old man, and push along.'
'Pou-sh-al-long! How can—you—talk to me like that? Yer—yer—shunting
me—me—for one of those other fellows.'
'We'll talk about that in the morning, old man. Now, Mortimer, you get hold
of his other arm and we'll run him along.'
Mr. Hayes struggled, declaring the while he would no longer believe in the
world's friendship; but with Montgomery pushing from behind, the last
hundred yards were soon accomplished, and the drunken burden deposited
against the wall of the passage.
Dick pulled the bell; the whole party listened to the distant tinkling, and
after a minute or two of suspense, Mortimer said:
'That won't do, Dick; ring again. We shall be here all night.'
Tinkle, tinkle, tinkle, went the bell, and a husky voice, issuing from the
dark shadow of the wall, said:
'I rang for another whisky, waiter, that's all.'
'The still-room maid has gone to sleep, sir,' Mortimer answered; and the
bell was rung again and again, and whilst one of the company was pulling at
the wire, another was hammering away with the knocker. All the same, no
answer could be obtained, and the mummers consulted Leslie and Bret, who
proposed that they should seek admittance at another hotel; Dubois, that
they should beg hospitality of the other members of the company;
Montgomery, that they should go back to the theatre. But the hotel-keeper
had no right to lock them out, and they had a perfect right to break into
his house, and the chances they ran of 'doing a week' were anxiously
debated as they searched for a piece of wood to serve as a ram. None of
sufficient size could be found, much to the relief of the ladies and
Dubois, who strongly advised Dick to renounce this door-smashing
experiment.
'Oh, Dick, pray don't,' whispered Kate. 'What does it matter; it will be
daylight in a few hours.'
'That's all very well, but I tell you he has no right to lock us out; he's
a licensed hotel-keeper. Are you game, Mortimer? We can burst in the door
with our shoulders.'
'Game!' said Mortimer, in a nasal note that echoed down the courtyard;
'partridges are in season in September. Here goes!' and taking a run, he
jumped with his full weight against the door.
'Out of the way,' cried Dick, breaking away from Kate, and hurling his huge
frame a little closer to the lock than the comedian had done.
The excitement being now at boiling pitch, the work was begun in real
earnest, and as they darted in regular succession out of the shadow of the
buttress across the clear stream of moonlight flowing down the flagstones,
they appeared like a procession of figures thrown on a cloth by a
magic-lantern. Mr.
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