When
once he was at home, and could find out where Helene was, the rest
would soon be settled.
From the hotel he went up to Angelika Nagel's
pension to say that some luggage which was there was to be sent
down to the hotel at once - he was leaving that afternoon.
He had dined and gone up to his room to pack, when
Angelika stood before him. She was at once so pretty and so
sad-looking that he had never seen anything more pathetic.
Had he really kept away from her house? Was he going
at once?
She wept so despairingly that he, who was prepared
for anything rather than to see her so inconsolable, answered her
evasively.
Their relations, he said, had had no more
significance than a chance meeting. This they both understood;
therefore she must realise that, sooner or later, it must end. And
now the time was come.
Indeed, it had more significance, she said. There
had never been any one to whom she had been so much attached; this
she had proved to him. Now she had come here to tell him that she
was enceinte. She was in as great despair about it as any one could
be. It was ruin for herself and her children. She had never
contemplated anything so frightful, but her mad love had carried
her away; so now she was where she deserved to be.
Rafael did not answer, for he could not collect his
thoughts. She sat at a table, her face buried in her hands, but his
eye fell on her strong arms in the close-fitting sleeves, her
little foot thrust from beneath her dress; he saw how her whole
frame was shaken by sobs. Nevertheless, what first made him collect
his thoughts was not sympathy with her who was here before him; it
was the thought of Helene, of the Dean, of his mother: what would
THEY say?
As though she were conscious whither his thoughts
had flown, she raised her head. "Will you really go away from me?"
What despair was in her face! The strong woman was weaker than a
child.
He stood erect before her, beside his open trunk.
He, too, was absolutely miserable.
"What good will it do for me to stay here?" he asked
gently.
Her eyes fixed themselves on him, dilating, becoming
clearer every moment. Her mouth grew scornful. She seemed to grow
taller every moment.
"You will marry me if you are an honourable
man!"
"Marry - you?" he exclaimed, first startled, then
disdainful. An evil expression came into her eyes; she thrust her
head forward; the whole woman collected herself for the attack like
a tiger-cat, but it ended with a violent blow on the table.
"Yes you SHALL, devil take me!" she whispered.
She rushed past him to the window. What was she
going to do?
She opened it, screamed out he could not clearly
hear what, leant far out, and screamed again; then closed it, and
turned towards him, threatening, triumphant. He was as white as a
sheet, not because he was frightened or dreaded her threats, but
because he recognised in her a mortal enemy. He braced himself for
the struggle.
She saw this at once. She was conscious of his
strength before he had made a movement. There was that in his eye,
in his whole demeanour, which SHE would never be able to overcome:
a look of determination which one would not willingly contest. If
he had not understood her till now, he had equally revealed himself
to her.
All the more wildly did she love him. He rejoiced
that he had taken no notice of what she had done, but turned to put
the last things into his trunk and fasten it. Then she came close
up to him, in more complete contrition, penitence, and wretchedness
than he had ever seen in life or art. Her face stiffened with
terror, her eyes fixed, her whole frame rigid, only her tears
flowed quietly, without a sob. She must and would have him. She
seemed to draw him to herself as into a vortex: her love had become
the necessity of her life, its utterances the wild cry of
despair.
He understood it now. But he put the things into his
trunk and fastened it, took a few steps about the room, as if he
were alone, with such an expression of face that she herself saw
that the thing was impossible.
"Do you not believe," she said quietly, "that I
would relieve you of all cares, so that you could go on with your
own work? Have you not seen that I can manage your mother?" She
paused a moment, then added: "Hellebergene - I know the place. The
Dean is a relation of mine. I have been there; that would be
something that I could take charge of; do you not think so? And the
cement quarries," she added; "I have a turn for business: it should
be no trouble to you." She said this in an undertone. She had a
slight lisp, which gave her an air of helplessness.
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