His observations charge his surroundings with an eroticism otherwise
only possible between skin and skin. His flesh seems to creep into the substance of
the things, there’s a kind of promiscuity with inanimate ornaments. And the
substance responds with a similar promiscuity, coupling with the flesh of its
observer. Something forbidden pulsates between the person and the object, something
that smacks of incest, of overindulgence, of pleasure, and of sinful intensity. Time
and again, the search for the self ends in an exaggeration of identity. Time and
again it is driven to a new extreme until it is suddenly called off as though too
spooked to continue. The objects themselves, their features, become surrogates. They
offer no answer, yet they usurp the place of everything the narrator wants to
discover about himself.
Here is a description of a gypsy’s ring: “The extraordinary embellishments used by
birds, animals, or flowers for purposes of sexual attraction . . . the hysterical
lace of petunia petals. . . . It was made of marvelous tin—fine, grotesque,
and hideous. Yes, hideous more than anything. It got at love in its deepest, darkest
regions.” In an office with leather chairs and subdued lighting, “the screen of an
enormous pewter spittoon in the shape of a cat stood gleaming in a dark corner.”
“The glass windowpanes wobbled a bit in their frames like loose teeth.” And inside
the crystal coffin of a wax figure cabinet is “a woman with a pale, yet luminescent
face, lying in a glass box and sheathed in black lace, a striking red rose between
her breasts, her blond wig coming undone at the forehead, the rouge in her nostrils
aquiver. . . . It remained lodged inside me, still vague, like a word I wished to
recall.”
The adolescent vagabond falls for the objects, because he’s fallen for the eroticism
of sensory perception. And as the things themselves become increasingly transparent
through his close observation, he becomes less and less transparent to himself.
Particular details inflame or cool his ardor: his body is now attracted, now
repelled by the things. His flesh is a magnet. His organs alone are insufficient,
they need something else, and they lie in wait for the objects, which are likewise
in need. Their features entice the body, wresting away its feelings which they then
consume. The internal and the external engage in mutual indecent assault, and in the
end it’s impossible to say which side instigated the voracious
encounter—whether the person assailed the object to the point of breakdown, or
vice versa. The paths beneath the feet are constantly hoisted into the head. And
roaming through the space that exists between feet and mind inevitably leads to
lonely realizations. The differences between the beautiful and the ugly, the
anguished and the elated, are no longer possible in this book. The intensity of
perception climbs right through the skull, the “melancholy of existence” and the
“normally organized torture” render all the usual registries unfit.
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