Hardinge my desire to see the world, and to be
a sailor. The divine was astounded at this declaration, and I saw that
he was grieved. I believe some religious objections were connected
with his reluctance to consent to my following the sea, as a
calling. At any rate, it was easy to discover that these objections
were lasting and profound. In that day, few Americans travelled, by
way of an accomplishment, at all; and those few belonged to a class in
society so much superior to mine, as to render it absurd to think of
sending, me abroad with similar views. Nor would my fortune justify
such an expenditure. I was well enough off to be a comfortable and
free housekeeper, and as independent as a king on my own farm; living
in abundance, nay, in superfluity, so far as all the ordinary wants
were concerned; but men hesitated a little about setting up for
gentlemen at large, in the year 1797. The country was fast getting
rich, it is true, under the advantages of its neutral position; but it
had not yet been long enough emancipated from its embarrassments to
think of playing the nabob on eight hundred pounds currency
a-year. The interview terminated with a strong exhortation from my
guardian not to think of abandoning my books for any project as
visionary and useless as the hope of seeing the world in the character
of a common sailor.
I related all this to Rupert, who, I now perceived for the first time,
did not hesitate to laugh at some of his father's notions, as
puritanical and exaggerated. He maintained that every one was the best
judge of what he liked, and that the sea had produced quite as fair a
proportion of saints as the land. He was not certain, considering the
great difference there was in numbers, that more good men might not be
traced in connection with the ocean, than in connection with any other
pursuit.
"Take the lawyers now, for instance, Miles," he said, "and what can
you make out of them, in the way of religion, I should like to know?
They hire their consciences out at so much per diem, and talk
and reason just as zealously for the wrong, as they do for the right."
"By George, that is true enough, Rupert. There is old David Dockett, I
remember to have heard Mr. Hardinge say always did double duty for his
fee, usually acting as witness, as well as advocate. They tell me he
will talk by the hour of facts that he and his clients get up between
them, and look the whole time as if he believed all he said to be
true."
Rupert laughed at this sally, and pushed the advantage it gave him by
giving several other examples to prove how much his father was
mistaken by supposing that a man was to save his soul from perdition
simply by getting admitted to the bar. After discussing the matter a
little longer, to my astonishment Rupert came out with a plain
proposal that he and I should elope, go to New York, and ship as
foremastlads in some Indiaman, of which there were then many sailing,
at the proper season, from that port. I did not dislike the idea, so
far as I was myself concerned; but the thought of accompanying Rupert
in such an adventure, startled me. I knew I was sufficiently secure of
the future to be able to risk a little at the present moment; but such
was not the case with my friend. If I made a false step at so early an
age, I had only to return to Clawbonny, where I was certain to find
competence and a home; but, with Rupert, it was very different. Of the
moral hazards I ran, I then knew nothing, and of course they gave me
no concern. Like all inexperienced persons, I supposed myself too
strong in virtue to be in any danger of contamination; and this
portion of the adventure was regarded with the self-complacency with
which the untried are apt to regard their own powers of endurance. I
thought myself morally invulnerable.
But Rupert might find it difficult to retrace any serious error made
at his time of life. This consideration would have put an end to the
scheme, so far as my companion was concerned, had not the thought
suggested itself that I should always have it in my own power to aid
my friend. Letting something of this sort escape me, Rupert was not
slow in enlarging on it, though this was done with great tact and
discretion. He proved that, by the time we both came of age, he would
be qualified to command a ship, and that, doubtless, I would naturally
desire to invest some of my spare cash in a vessel. The accumulations
of my estate alone would do this much, within the next five years, and
then a career of wealth and prosperity would lie open before us both.
"It is a good thing, Miles, no doubt," continued this tempting
sophist, "to have money at use, and a large farm, and a mill, and such
things; but many a ship nets more money, in a single voyage, than your
whole estate would sell for. Those that begin with nothing, too, they
tell me, are the most apt to succeed; and, if we go off with our
clothes only, we shall begin with nothing, too. Success may be said to
be certain. I like the notion of beginning with nothing, it is so
American!"
It is, in truth, rather a besetting weakness of America to suppose
that men who have never had any means for qualifying themselves for
particular pursuits, are the most likely to succeed in them; and
especially to fancy that those who "begin poor" are in a much better
way for acquiring wealth than they who commence with some means; and I
was disposed to lean to this latter doctrine myself, though I confess
I cannot recall an instance in which any person of my acquaintance has
given away his capital, however large and embarrassing it may have
been, in order to start fair with his poorer competitors.
Nevertheless, there was something taking, to my imagination, in the
notion of being the fabricator of my own fortune. In that day, it was
easy to enumerate every dwelling on the banks of the Hudson that
aspired to be called a seat, and I had often heard them named by those
who were familiar with the river. I liked the thought of erecting a
house on the Clawbonny property that might aspire to equal claims, and
to be the owner of a seat; though only after I had acquired the
means, myself, to carry out such a project.
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