Then, fail not. You have won
A wife of me, though there my hope be done.75
BERTRAM A heaven on earth I have won by wooing thee.
[Exit]
DIANA For which live long to thank both heaven and me.
You may so in the end.
My mother told me just how he would woo,
As if she sat in’s heart. She says all men
Have the like81 oaths. He had sworn to marry me
When his wife’s dead: therefore I’ll lie with him
When I am buried. Since Frenchmen are so braid83,
Marry84 that will, I live and die a maid.
Only in this disguise85 I think’t no sin
To cozen86 him that would unjustly win.
Exit
running scene 16
Enter the two French Captains [the Lords Dumaine] and some two or three Soldiers
FIRST LORD You have not given him his mother’s letter?
SECOND LORD I have delivered it an hour since2: there is
something in’t that stings his nature, for on the reading it he
changed almost into another man.
FIRST LORD He has much worthy5 blame laid upon him for
shaking off so good a wife and so sweet a lady.
SECOND LORD Especially he hath incurred the everlasting
displeasure of the king, who had even tuned his bounty8 to
sing happiness to him. I will tell you a thing, but you shall let
it dwell darkly10 with you.
FIRST LORD When you have spoken it, ’tis dead, and I am the
grave of it.
SECOND LORD He hath perverted13 a young gentlewoman here in
Florence, of a most chaste renown, and this night he fleshes14
his will in the spoil15 of her honour. He hath given her his
monumental ring, and thinks himself made16 in the unchaste
composition.17
FIRST LORD Now, God delay our rebellion! As we are ourselves18,
what things are we!
SECOND LORD Merely20 our own traitors. And as in the common
course of all treasons, we still see them reveal themselves21, till
they attain to their abhorred ends, so he22 that in this action
contrives against his own nobility, in his proper stream23
o’erflows himself.
FIRST LORD Is it not meant25 damnable in us, to be trumpeters of
our unlawful intents? We shall not then have his company
tonight?
SECOND LORD Not till after midnight, for he is dieted to his hour.28
FIRST LORD That approaches apace.29 I would gladly have him
see his company anatomized30, that he might take a measure
of his own judgements, wherein so curiously he had set this31
counterfeit.
SECOND LORD We will not meddle with him till he come, for his33
presence must be the whip of the other.34
FIRST LORD In the meantime, what hear you of these wars?
SECOND LORD I hear there is an overture36 of peace.
FIRST LORD Nay, I assure you, a peace concluded.
SECOND LORD What will Count Rossillion do then? Will he
travel higher39, or return again into France?
FIRST LORD I perceive by this demand, you are not altogether of40
his council.
SECOND LORD Let it be forbid, sir! So should I be a great deal of42
his act.
FIRST LORD Sir, his wife some two months since fled from his
house. Her pretence45 is a pilgrimage to Saint Jaques le Grand;
which holy undertaking with most austere sanctimony46 she
accomplished. And there residing, the tenderness of her
nature became as a prey to her grief; in fine, made a groan of
her last breath, and now she sings in heaven.
SECOND LORD How is this justified?50
FIRST LORD The stronger part of it by her own letters, which
makes her story true, even to the point of her death. Her
death itself, which could not be her office53 to say is come, was
faithfully confirmed by the rector54 of the place.
SECOND LORD Hath the count all this intelligence?
FIRST LORD Ay, and the particular confirmations, point from
point, to the full arming of the verity.57
SECOND LORD I am heartily sorry that he’ll be glad of this.
FIRST LORD How mightily sometimes we make us comforts of59
our losses!
SECOND LORD And how mightily some other times we drown
our gain in tears! The great dignity that his valour hath here
acquired for him shall at home be encountered63 with a shame
as ample.
FIRST LORD The web of our life is of a mingled yarn, good and ill
together: our virtues would be proud if our faults whipped
them not; and our crimes would despair if they were not
cherished68 by our virtues.
Enter a [Servant as a] Messenger
How now! Where’s your master?
SERVANT He met the duke in the street, sir, of whom he hath
taken a solemn leave: his lordship will next morning for71
France. The duke hath offered72 him letters of commendations
to the king.
SECOND LORD They shall be no more than needful there, if74 they
were more than they can commend.75
Enter Count Rossillion [Bertram]
FIRST LORD They cannot be too sweet for the king’s tartness.
Here’s his lordship now.— How now, my lord! Is’t not after
midnight?
BERTRAM I have tonight dispatched79 sixteen businesses, a
month’s length apiece, by an abstract of success80: I have
congied with the duke, done my adieu with his nearest81,
buried a wife, mourned for her, writ to my lady mother I am
returning, entertained my convoy83 and between these main
parcels of dispatch effected many nicer84 needs. The last was
the greatest, but that I have not ended yet.
SECOND LORD If the business be of any difficulty, and this
morning your departure hence, it requires haste of your
lordship.
BERTRAM I mean, the business is not ended, as fearing to hear89
of it hereafter. But shall we have this dialogue between the
fool and the soldier? Come, bring forth this counterfeit
module, h’as deceived me like a double-meaning prophesier.92
To Soldiers
SECOND LORD Bring him forth.
H’as sat i’th’stocks all night, poor gallant94 knave.
[Exit some Soldiers]
BERTRAM No matter. His heels have deserved it in usurping95 his
spurs so long. How does he carry96 himself?
SECOND LORD I have told your lordship already, the stocks carry
him. But to answer you as you would be understood: he
weeps like a wench that had shed99 her milk, he hath confessed
himself to Morgan, whom he supposes to be a friar, from the
time of his remembrance to this very instant disaster101 of his
setting i’th’stocks. And what think you he hath confessed?
BERTRAM Nothing of me, has a?103
SECOND LORD His confession is taken, and it shall be read to his
face: if your lordship be in’t, as I believe you are, you must
have the patience to hear it.
Enter Parolles [blindfolded] with his Interpreter
BERTRAM A plague upon him! Muffled? He can say nothing of
me. Hush, hush.
FIRST LORD Hoodman109 comes! Portotartarossa.
INTERPRETER He calls for the tortures. What will you say
without ’em?
PAROLLES I will confess what I know without constraint.112 If ye
pinch me like a pasty113, I can say no more.
INTERPRETER Bosko chimurcho.
FIRST LORD Boblibindo chicurmurco.
INTERPRETER You are a merciful general. Our general bids you
answer to what I shall ask you out of a note.117
PAROLLES And truly, as I hope to live.
Pretends to read
INTERPRETER ‘First demand of him how many horse119
the duke is strong.120’ What say you to that?
PAROLLES Five or six thousand, but very weak and
unserviceable. The troops are all scattered, and the
commanders very poor rogues, upon my reputation and
credit and as I hope to live.
INTERPRETER Shall I set down your answer so?
PAROLLES Do. I’ll take the sacrament on’t, how and which126 way
you will.
Bertram and the Lords speak aside throughout
BERTRAM All’s one to him. What a past-saving128 slave is this?
FIRST LORD You’re deceived, my lord: this is Monsieur Parolles,
the gallant militarist — that was his own phrase — that had
the whole theoric131 of war in the knot of his scarf, and the
practice in the chape132 of his dagger.
SECOND LORD I will never trust a man again for keeping his
sword clean134, nor believe he can have everything in him by
wearing his apparel neatly.
To Parolles
INTERPRETER Well, that’s set down.
PAROLLES ‘Five or six thousand horse,’ I said — I will say true
— ‘or thereabouts’, set down, for I’ll speak truth.
FIRST LORD He’s very near the truth in this.
BERTRAM But I con him no thanks for’t, in the nature140 he
delivers it.
PAROLLES ‘Poor rogues’, I pray you say.
INTERPRETER Well, that’s set down.
PAROLLES I humbly thank you, sir. A truth’s a truth, the
rogues are marvellous145 poor.
Pretends to read
INTERPRETER ‘Demand of him, of what strength
they are a-foot.147’ What say you to that?
PAROLLES By my troth, sir, if I were to live148 this present hour,
I will tell true. Let me see: Spurio, a hundred and fifty:
Sebastian, so150 many: Corambus, so many: Jaques, so many:
Guiltian, Cosmo, Lodowick and Gratii, two hundred fifty
each: mine own company, Chitopher, Vaumond, Bentii, two
hundred fifty each. So that the muster-file, rotten and sound153,
upon my life, amounts not to fifteen thousand poll154, half of
the which dare not shake the snow from off their cassocks155,
lest they shake themselves to pieces.
BERTRAM What shall be done to him?
FIRST LORD Nothing, but let him have thanks. Demand of him
my condition159, and what credit I have with the duke.
Pretends to read
INTERPRETER Well, that’s set down. ‘You shall
demand of him, whether one Captain Dumaine be
i’th’camp, a Frenchman, what his reputation is with the
duke, what his valour, honesty, and expertness in wars, or
whether he thinks it were not possible, with well-weighing164
sums of gold, to corrupt him to a revolt.’ What say you to
this? What do you know of it?
PAROLLES I beseech you let me answer to the particular167 of the
inter’gatories168: demand them singly.
INTERPRETER Do you know this Captain Dumaine?
PAROLLES I know him: a was a botcher’s ’prentice170 in Paris,
from whence he was whipped for getting the shrieve’s fool171
with child — a dumb innocent172 that could
not say him nay.173
First Lord attempts to hit Parolles
BERTRAM Nay, by your leave, hold your hands, though I know
his brains are forfeit to the next tile that falls.175
INTERPRETER Well, is this captain in the Duke of Florence’s
camp?
PAROLLES Upon my knowledge he is, and lousy.178
FIRST LORD Nay look not so upon me. We shall hear of your
lord anon.
INTERPRETER What is his reputation with the duke?
PAROLLES The duke knows him for no other but a poor officer
of mine, and writ to me this other day to turn him out
o’th’band.184 I think I have his letter in my pocket.
They search his pockets
INTERPRETER Marry, we’ll search.
PAROLLES In good sadness186, I do not know.
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