But in what remains
Miss Lyon has discovered passages which she finds
interesting, and
I shall quote from them here and there and now and then, as I go along.
While we were living in
Vienna
in 1898 a cablegram came from
Keokuk announcing
Orion’s death. He was seventy-two years old. He had gone down to the kitchen in
the early hours of a bitter December morning; he had built the fire, and had then sat
down at a table to write something, and there he died, with the pencil in his hand and
resting against the paper in the middle of an unfinished word—an indication that his
release from the captivity of a long and troubled and pathetic and unprofitable life was
mercifully swift and painless.
Monday, April 9, 1906
Letter from French girl enclosing cable about “Huck Finn”—The
Juggernaut Club—Letter from Librarian of Brooklyn Public
Library in regard to “Huckleberry Finn” and “Tom Sawyer”—Mr.
Clemens’s reply—The deluge of reporters trying to
discover contents of that letter.
This morning’s mail brings me from
France
a letter from a French friend of mine,
enclosing this New York cablegram.
MARK TWAIN
INTERDIT
NEW-YORK, 27 mars. (Par dépêche de notre correspondant particulier.)—Les
directeurs de la bibliothèque de Brooklyn ont mis les deux derniers livres de Mark
Twain à l’index pour les enfants au-dessous de quinze ans, les considérant comme
malsains.
Le célèbre humoriste a écrit à des fonctionnaires une lettre pleine d’esprit et de
sarcasme. Ces messieurs se refusent à la publier, sous le prétexte qu’ils n’ont pas
l’autorisation de l’auteur de le faire.
The letter is from a French girl who lives at St. Dié, in
Joan of Arc’s region. I have
never seen this French girl, but
she wrote me about five years ago and since then we
have exchanged friendly letters three or four times a year. She signs herself
Hélène
Picard, French Member. “French Member” will be better understood after I shall have
explained it. The reference is to the
Juggernaut Club. I invented the
Juggernaut Club.
I am the only male member of it. No other person of my sex is eligible to membership.
My humble title is Chief Servant of the Juggernaut Club—but it is a good deal of a
deception. I am the real boss. I am the power behind the throne, on the throne, and in
front of it, and no combination of votes is worth anything against mine. The ballot is
secret, anyway. Nobody knows who votes for who, except myself. It is great fun.
I have
the constitution and by-laws somewhere, but I cannot put my hand on that document
just now. There are several members, and I make these several members think there are
a couple of dozen in the club. One of the strictest of the rules is that there shall be but
one member in a country, never two. That member represents that country until she
dies. She cannot resign, and she cannot be turned out. This French girl highly values
her great and exclusive position as representative of France, and usually she does not
sign herself Member for France, but simply signs no name at all, but just signs “France.”
Among the membership is a reigning queen, a queen who is in very good standing, too,
or she couldn’t stay in this club. I am the only person connected with the club who
knows the name or residence of any other member of the club. My
wife knew the names
and countries of the membership, but that was because she and I were really one person
and there were no secrets. Sometimes I was that person, sometimes she was that person.
Sometimes it took both of us together to constitute that person. When I was going to
appoint the American member I consulted her, and although she was not a member and
had not the slightest authority in the club, she arbitrarily vetoed that girl and appointed
another one in her stead. This was mutiny. This was insubordination. This was usurpation,
but it had to stand, and it did.
The reason I named the club after Juggernaut, was, because I held that god in most
sincere admiration and reverence, and I wanted to do him honor. He has always been
misrepresented in Christian countries.
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