You couldn’t miss it.”

“Oh….My….God! Our Faith is a one-night-stander!”

“One-Night Faith.”

“If I ask you something, promise not to get mad?”

“What?”

“How do you know he was a stranger?”

Jake pauses. “I guess I don’t.”

“You sound jealous.”

“Not at all.”

“You sure?”

“Of course. I’ve got you, right?”

She says, “I’m here, aren’t I? When I’m supposed to be somewhere else?”

He kisses her boob.

She says, “What if she won’t share the money?”

“She’ll have to. And the minute she deposits the check, I’ll file for divorce.”

“Seriously?”

“Yes. And you will, too. Right?”

“You’re asking me to take a big step without offering a proposal.”

“Will you marry me?”

“For real? You mean it?”

“I do.”

“Then yes, of course!”

“Happy birthday, baby.”

“Thanks, sweetheart.”

Milo watches them kiss, then trudges back to Faith’s coat closet, with four things on his mind. One, he can’t leave till Jake leaves, which will make him really late for Lemon’s birthday party. Two, it’s going to be a long-ass bike ride to his mom’s house. Three, his wife’s having an affair with his friend, and it’s been going on for a while, or they wouldn’t be talking marriage. And four, he’s been brushing his teeth for months with toothbrushes that have spent a good amount of time up Jake’s ass.

7.

BY THE TIME Milo arrives at Veluzzi’s, the entire gang—except for Jake—has been there a while. He catches Lemon’s cold look and Faith’s questioning look at the same time and ignores them both. He makes his way around the table, hugs the women, and mumbles an apology about how his mom had a rough afternoon.

Faith’s face is pleading for confirmation the deed got done, but Milo plans to let her stew a while, which is exactly what she deserves for fucking a total stranger in a men’s room while chastising Milo for peeking at her body.

“Milo?” Lexi says. “I’d like to introduce you to my friend, the incredibly good-looking Byron Zass. Byron, this is Lemon’s husband, Milo Fister.”

Milo looks at Brody, who appears miserable to the point of madness.

Milo shakes Byron’s hand. “Pleased to meet you.”

Lexi says, “Are you okay, Milo?”

“I’m fine. Just embarrassed being late for my wife’s birthday party.”

“No biggie,” Lemon says. “Come sit. I’ve ordered you a drink.”

He walks toward the empty seat beside his wife, notices the presents stacked on the floor. Says, “I’ll be right back.”

Lemon frowns. “What now?”

“I left your gifts in the trunk.”

Faith says, “I’ll help you fetch them!”

It came out so suddenly, everyone turns to look at her.

Faith recovers, saying, “I’d offer my husband, but as you can see, he’s not here yet.”

“I’ll help you,” Brody says.

“Thank you, Brody,” Lemon says. Then looks at our friends and says, “I’m amazed Milo remembered my birthday at all!”

Right, Milo thinks. She’s probably been telling their friends he’s a rotten husband. Setting the stage for the “surprise” divorce that’s coming his way. Of course, she’ll lose all these friends when they find out she’s been fucking Jake.

On the way to the car Brody says, “Lemon looks great tonight.”

“You don’t think her dress is a little wrinkled?”

Brody gives him an odd look. “I hadn’t noticed.” They walk quietly till he adds, “Are you gonna be in the doghouse tonight for being late?”

“Probably.”

“I’ve never seen Lemon angry. But she looked upset with you tonight.”

“Can you blame her? I was late for her party, after all.”

“But your mom. Surely Lemon understands.”

“She does. Still, it’s her day.