But every time I watch him brush his teeth I crack up. Get it? Crack up?”

“You’re terrible.”

“I know. But Jake? Congratulations on winning the lottery. I’m really happy for you!”

“I won the lottery when I met you.”

“That’s sweet. Whose ticket is it? Yours or hers?”

“Hers.”

“How do you know she bought one?”

“She always buys one, and always plays the same numbers. She’s a creature of habit.”

“Does she know?”

“Not yet.”

“Maybe this will bring you and Faith closer together.”

“Not a chance.”

“Like you said, winning the lottery could change everything.”

“There’s something I never told you. Eight weeks ago Faith fucked a total stranger in the men’s room of a bar.”

“What?”

“I’m serious.”

“Jake, that’s crazy. She’d never do that.”

“I saw her.”

“What are you talking about? Where?”

“Cincinnati. I’d been at a client meeting, she was waiting for me in the hotel bar. I came in through the street entrance and saw her sitting at a booth, talking to a guy. I was so stunned, I watched them from a distance. After a few minutes they got up, went to the men’s room. The fuckin’ men’s room!”

“That makes no sense. Of all the women I know—”

“Right. I know. But I was there. They stayed in the men’s room more than five minutes. When they came out, they were all flushed.”

“Did she see you?”

“No. She was too busy trying to fix her hair and smooth her clothes. She was following him very closely.”

“I admit it sounds bad. But it doesn’t prove they were having sex. Maybe he was selling her some coke. Or prescription pills.”

“You’re a good friend to assume that, but I listened at the door. She wasn’t quiet, and she wasn’t making drug deal sounds. They went back to the table a minute, then he left, and she went to the elevator. I knew she was up there changing her panties, so I went up to the room and waited for her to come out the door. When she did I told her I had to drop off my briefcase and pee. She went downstairs to get us a table, and I went through her suitcase and checked her panties for semen.”

“Eew. Gross!”

“Yeah, I know. But it’s not as gross as fucking a complete stranger in the men’s room.”

“Was there any?”

“Any what?”

“Uh…discharge?”

“Yeah.