He had his house,
from one year's end to another, as full of company as ever it could
hold, and fuller; for rather than be left out of the parties at
Castle Rackrent, many gentlemen, and those men of the first
consequence and landed estates in the country—such as the O'Neills
of Ballynagrotty, and the Moneygawls of Mount Juliet's Town, and
O'Shannons of New Town Tullyhog—made it their choice, often and
often, when there was no room to be had for love nor money, in long
winter nights, to sleep in the chicken-house, which Sir Patrick had
fitted up for the purpose of accommodating his friends and the
public in general, who honoured him with their company unexpectedly
at Castle Rackrent; and this went on I can't tell you how long. The
whole country rang with his praises!—long life to him! I'm sure I
love to look upon his picture, now opposite to me; though I never
saw him, he must have been a portly gentleman—his neck something
short, and remarkable for the largest pimple on his nose, which, by
his particular desire, is still extant in his picture, said to be a
striking likeness, though taken when young. He is said also to be
the inventor of raspberry whisky, which is very likely, as nobody
has ever appeared to dispute it with him, and as there still exists
a broken punch-bowl at Castle Rackrent, in the garret, with an
inscription to that effect—a great curiosity. A few days before his
death he was very merry; it being his honour's birthday, he called
my grandfather in—God bless him!—to drink the company's health, and
filled a bumper himself, but could not carry it to his head, on
account of the great shake in his hand; on this he cast his joke,
saying, 'What would my poor father say to me if he was to pop out
of the grave, and see me now? I remember when I was a little boy,
the first bumper of claret he gave me after dinner, how he praised
me for carrying it so steady to my mouth. Here's my thanks to him—a
bumper toast.' Then he fell to singing the favourite song he
learned from his father—for the last time, poor gentleman—he sung
it that night as loud and as hearty as ever, with a chorus:
He that goes to bed, and goes to bed sober,
Falls as the leaves do, falls as the leaves do, and dies in
October;
'But he that goes to bed, and goes to bed mellow,
Lives as he ought to do, lives as he ought to do, and dies an
honest fellow.
Sir Patrick died that night: just as the company rose to drink
his health with three cheers, he fell down in a sort of fit, and
was carried off; they sat it out, and were surprised, on inquiry in
the morning, to find that it was all over with poor Sir Patrick.
Never did any gentleman live and die more beloved in the country by
rich and poor. His funeral was such a one as was never known before
or since in the county! All the gentlemen in the three counties
were at it; far and near, how they flocked! my great-grandfather
said, that to see all the women, even in their red cloaks, you
would have taken them for the army drawn out. Then such a fine
whillaluh! [See GLOSSARY 3] you might have heard it to the farthest
end of the county, and happy the man who could get but a sight of
the hearse! But who'd have thought it? Just as all was going on
right, through his own town they were passing, when the body was
seized for debt—a rescue was apprehended from the mob; but the
heir, who attended the funeral, was against that, for fear of
consequences, seeing that those villains who came to serve acted
under the disguise of the law: so, to be sure, the law must take
its course, and little gain had the creditors for their pains.
First and foremost, they had the curses of the country: and Sir
Murtagh Rackrent, the new heir, in the next place, on account of
this affront to the body, refused to pay a shilling of the debts,
in which he was countenanced by all the best gentlemen of property,
and others of his acquaintance; Sir Murtagh alleging in all
companies that he all along meant to pay his father's debts of
honour, but the moment the law was taken of him, there was an end
of honour to be sure. It was whispered (but none but the enemies of
the family believe it) that this was all a sham seizure to get quit
of the debts which he had bound himself to pay in honour.
It's a long time ago, there's no saying how it was, but this for
certain, the new man did not take at all after the old gentleman;
the cellars were never filled after his death, and no open house,
or anything as it used to be; the tenants even were sent away
without their whisky [See GLOSSARY 4]. I was ashamed myself, and
knew not what to say for the honour of the family; but I made the
best of a bad case, and laid it all at my lady's door, for I did
not like her anyhow, nor anybody else; she was of the family of the
Skinflints, and a widow; it was a strange match for Sir Murtagh;
the people in the country thought he demeaned himself greatly [See
GLOSSARY 5], but I said nothing; I knew how it was. Sir Murtagh was
a great lawyer, and looked to the great Skinflint estate; there,
however, he overshot himself; for though one of the co-heiresses,
he was never the better for her, for she outlived him many's the
long day—he could not see that to be sure when he married her. I
must say for her, she made him the best of wives, being a very
notable, stirring woman, and looking close to everything. But I
always suspected she had Scotch blood in her veins; anything else I
could have looked over in her, from a regard to the family. She was
a strict observer, for self and servants, of Lent, and all
fast-days, but not holidays. One of the maids having fainted three
times the last day of Lent, to keep soul and body together, we put
a morsel of roast beef into her mouth, which came from Sir
Murtagh's dinner, who never fasted, not he; but somehow or other it
unfortunately reached my lady's ears, and the priest of the parish
had a complaint made of it the next day, and the poor girl was
forced, as soon as she could walk, to do penance for it, before she
could get any peace or absolution, in the house or out of it.
However, my lady was very charitable in her own way. She had a
charity school for poor children, where they were taught to read
and write gratis, and where they were kept well to spinning gratis
for my lady in return; for she had always heaps of duty yarn from
the tenants, and got all her household linen out of the estate from
first to last; for after the spinning, the weavers on the estate
took it in hand for nothing, because of the looms my lady's
interest could get from the Linen Board to distribute gratis. Then
there was a bleach-yard near us, and the tenant dare refuse my lady
nothing, for fear of a lawsuit Sir Murtagh kept hanging over him
about the watercourse. With these ways of managing, 'tis surprising
how cheap my lady got things done, and how proud she was of it. Her
table the same way, kept for next to nothing [See GLOSSARY 6]; duty
fowls, and duty turkeys, and duty geese, came as fast as we could
eat 'em, for my lady kept a sharp lookout, and knew to a tub of
butter everything the tenants had, all round. They knew her way,
and what with fear of driving for rent and Sir Murtagh's lawsuits,
they were kept in such good order, they never thought of coming
near Castle Rackrent without a present of something or
other—nothing too much or too little for my lady—eggs, honey,
butter, meal, fish, game, grouse, and herrings, fresh or salt, all
went for something. As for their young pigs, we had them, and the
best bacon and hams they could make up, with all young chickens in
spring; but they were a set of poor wretches, and we had nothing
but misfortunes with them, always breaking and running away. This,
Sir Murtagh and my lady said, was all their former landlord Sir
Patrick's fault, who let 'em all get the half-year's rent into
arrear; there was something in that to be sure. But Sir Murtagh was
as much the contrary way; for let alone making English tenants [See
GLOSSARY 7] of them, every soul, he was always driving and driving,
and pounding and pounding, and canting and canting [See GLOSSARY
8], and replevying and replevying, and he made a good living of
trespassing cattle; there was always some tenant's pig, or horse,
or cow, or calf, or goose, trespassing, which was so great a gain
to Sir Murtagh, that he did not like to hear me talk of repairing
fences. Then his heriots and duty-work [See GLOSSARY 9] brought him
in something, his turf was cut, his potatoes set and dug, his hay
brought home, and, in short, all the work about his house done for
nothing; for in all our leases there were strict clauses heavy with
penalties, which Sir Murtagh knew well how to enforce; so many
days' duty-work of man and horse, from every tenant, he was to
have, and had, every year; and when a man vexed him, why, the
finest day he could pitch on, when the cratur was getting in his
own harvest, or thatching his cabin, Sir Murtagh made it a
principle to call upon him and his horse; so he taught 'em all, as
he said, to know the law of landlord and tenant. As for law, I
believe no man, dead or alive, ever loved it so well as Sir
Murtagh. He had once sixteen suits pending at a time, and I never
saw him so much himself: roads, lanes, bogs, wells, ponds,
eel-wires, orchards, trees, tithes, vagrants, gravelpits, sandpits,
dunghills, and nuisances, everything upon the face of the earth
furnished him good matter for a suit. He used to boast that he had
a lawsuit for every letter in the alphabet. How I used to wonder to
see Sir Murtagh in the midst of the papers in his office! Why, he
could hardly turn about for them. I made bold to shrug my shoulders
once in his presence, and thanked my stars I was not born a
gentleman to so much toil and trouble; but Sir Murtagh took me up
short with his old proverb, 'learning is better than house or
land.' Out of forty-nine suits which he had, he never lost one but
seventeen [See GLOSSARY 10]; the rest he gained with costs, double
costs, treble costs sometimes; but even that did not pay. He was a
very learned man in the law, and had the character of it; but how
it was I can't tell, these suits that he carried cost him a power
of money: in the end he sold some hundreds a year of the family
estate; but he was a very learned man in the law, and I know
nothing of the matter, except having a great regard for the family;
and I could not help grieving when he sent me to post up notices of
the sale of the fee simple of the lands and appurtenances of
Timoleague.
'I know, honest Thady,' says he, to comfort me, 'what I'm about
better than you do; I'm only selling to get the ready money wanting
to carry on my suit with spirit with the Nugents of
Carrickashaughlin.'
He was very sanguine about that suit with the Nugents of
Carrickashaughlin. He could have gained it, they say, for certain,
had it pleased Heaven to have spared him to us, and it would have
been at the least a plump two thousand a year in his way; but
things were ordered otherwise—for the best to be sure.
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