B. and things like that? DO people have devils?”
“Young man, I will give you an infallible rule. Never question the ways of the Lord!”
“But why don’t the doctors talk about having devils now?”
“I have no time for vain arguments that lead nowhere! If you would think a little less of your wonderful powers of
reasoning, if you’d go humbly to God in prayer and give him a chance, you’d understand the true spiritual significances of
all these things.”
“But how about where Cain got his wife—”
Most respectfully Jim said it, but Dr. Quarles (he had a chin-whisker and a boiled shirt) turned from him and snapped, “I
have no further time to give you, young man! I’ve told you what to do. Good morning!”
That evening Mrs. Quarles breathed, “Oh, Willoughby, did you ‘tend to that awful senior—that Lefferts—that’s trying to
spread doubt? Did you fire him?”
“No,” blossomed President Quarles. “Certainly not. There was no need. I showed him how to look for spiritual guidance
and—Did that freshman come and mow the lawn? The idea of him wanting fifteen cents an hour!”
Jim was hair-hung and breeze-shaken over the abyss of hell, and apparently enjoying it very much indeed, while his
wickedness fascinated Elmer Gantry and terrified him.
5
That November day of 1902, November of their Senior year, was greasy of sky, and slush blotted the wooden sidewalks of
Gritzmacher Springs. There was nothing to do in town, and their room was dizzying with the stench of the stove, first
lighted now since spring.
Jim was studying German, tilted back in an elegant position of ease, with his legs cocked up on the desk tablet of the
escritoire. Elmer lay across the bed, ascertaining whether the blood would run to his head if he lowered it over the side.
It did, always.
“Oh, God, let’s get out and do something!” he groaned.
“Nothing to do, Useless,” said Jim.
“Let’s go over to Cato and see the girls and get drunk.”
As Kansas was dry, by state prohibition, the nearest haven was at Cato, Missouri, seventeen miles away.
Jim scratched his head with a corner of his book and approved:
“Well, that’s a worthy idea. Got any money?”
“On the twenty-eighth? Where the hell would I get any money before the first?”
“Hell-cat, you’ve got one of the deepest intellects I know. You’ll be a knock-out at the law. Aside from neither of us
having any money, and me with a Dutch quiz tomorrow, it’s a great project.”
“Oh, well—” sighed ponderous Elmer, feebly as a sick kitten, and lay revolving the tremendous inquiry.
It was Jim who saved them from the lard-like weariness into which they were slipping. He had gone back to his book, but
he placed it, precisely and evenly, on the desk, and rose.
“I would like to see Nellie,” he sighed. “Oh, man, I could give her a good time! Little Devil! Damn these co-eds here.
The few that’ll let you love ’em up, they hang around trying to catch you on the campus and make you propose to ’em.”
“Oh, gee! And I got to see Juanita,” groaned Elmer. “Hey, cut out talking about ’em will you! I’ve got a palpitating
heart right now, just thinking about Juanny!”
“Hell-cat! I’ve got it. Go and borrow ten off this new instructor in chemistry and physics. I’ve got a dollar sixty-four
left, and that’ll make it.”
“But I don’t know him.”
“Sure, you poor fish. That’s why I suggested him! Do the check-failed-to-come. I’ll get another hour of this Dutch while
you’re stealing the ten from him—”
“Now,” lugubriously, “you oughtn’t to talk like that!”
“If you’re as good a thief as I think you are, we’ll catch the five-sixteen to Cato.”
They were on the five-sixteen for Cato.
The train consisted of a day coach, a combined smoker and baggage car, and a rusty old engine and tender. The train
swayed so on the rough tracks as it bumped through the dropping light that Elmer and Jim were thrown against each other and
gripped the arm of their seat. The car staggered like a freighter in a gale. And tall raw farmers, perpetually shuffling
forward for a drink at the water-cooler, stumbled against them or seized Jim’s shoulder to steady themselves.
To every surface of the old smoking-car, to streaked windows and rusty ironwork and mud-smeared cocoanut matting, clung a
sickening bitterness of cheap tobacco fumes, and whenever they touched the red plush of the seat, dust whisked up and the
prints of their hands remained on the plush. The car was jammed. Passengers came to sit on the arm of their seat to shout at
friends across the aisle.
But Elmer and Jim were unconscious of filth and smell and crowding. They sat silent, nervously intent, panting a little,
their lips open, their eyes veiled, as they thought of Juanita and Nellie.
The two girls, Juanita Klauzel and Nellie Benton, were by no means professional daughters of joy. Juanita was cashier of
the Cato Lunch—Quick Eats; Nellie was assistant to a dressmaker. They were good girls but excitable, and they found a little
extra money useful for red slippers and nut-center chocolates.
“Juanita—what a lil darling—she understands a fellow’s troubles,” said Elmer, as they balanced down the slushy steps at
the grimy stone station of Cato.
When Elmer, as a Freshman just arrived from the pool-halls and frame high school of Paris, Kansas, had begun to learn the
decorum of amour, he had been a boisterous lout who looked shamefaced in the presence of gay ladies, who blundered against
tables, who shouted and desired to let the world know how valiantly vicious he was being. He was still rather noisy and
proud of wickedness when he was in a state of liquor, but in three and a quarter years of college he had learned how to
approach girls.
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