And you’re leading them to believe you’re courageous and capable, when you’re not.”

“Well, I did happen to shoot three Indians.”

“So?”

“Three hits in three seconds from low ground to high, sixty yards, on a skittish horse…”

“Your point, sir?”

“Some folks might be inclined to call that a right capable display of marksmanship.”

“Oh, pooh!”

“Pooh?”

“You couldn’t kill a rabbit last week with twenty minutes and a rifle. Wayne killed three with rocks. And yesterday Wayne had to catch your breakfast, and last night he saved your life. Had Wayne not intervened with Ira, you’d be dead today.”

“So?”

“You’re enjoying all the glory, and no one even knows about poor Wayne.”

“Well, you do.”

“That’s right. And you should be ashamed.”

“Why’s that?”

“You’ve got these women cow-eyed and swooning over you. They’re starting to think of you in heroic terms.”

“What’s wrong with that?”

“It’s fraud.”

I said, “Are you upset that Wayne wasn’t there when the shootin’ started?”

“I’m nothing of the sort. I’m sure he was tackling something much more dangerous.”

“Uh huh.”

“He rightfully assumed that even a person with your limited skills could vanquish a handful of teenage Indians with inadequate weaponry.”

“And he speaks French, too,” I said.

“He does. And beautifully, I might add.”

I was riding in front of her, so she couldn’t see me smile.

“Are you smiling?” Phoebe said.

I chose not to answer her.

“Are you smiling?” she repeated.

The sky overhead was clear and crisp, and Shrug was leadin’ us away from the Indians I hadn’t killed. We crested a flat-topped mountain and stopped to rest our horses. Those who needed to shit, did so behind rocks. The others squatted and pissed in plain view, which vexed Phoebe visibly.

“Monique,” she said. “Allez-vous m’escorter aux rochers?”

“Chier ou pisser, Mademoiselle?” 

“Je préfèrerais que le monde entier ne sache pas quelles sont mes affaires derrière les rochers, si vous n’avez pas d’objection."

Monique and Scarlett laughed at whatever Phoebe had said, but Monique went with her behind the rocks.

While waitin’ for ’em, I brushed a spider off my pant leg and took a moment to observe the natural order of things around me. I looked up and saw a hawk glidin’ silently through the air toward a rock formation, some sixty yards distant. I followed its line of sight, and spotted a squirrel runnin’ full speed along a ledge, headin’ for a stand of bull pines. The hawk circled once, then swooped down and made off with its prize.

The squirrel never knew what hit it.

 


 

 

 

15.

 

After the rest stop I led the ladies to a muddy creek, and sighed, knowin’ what to expect. For the women, this was usually the hardest part of the journey.

“I ain’t fillin’ my canteen with that shit water,” Mary said.

“No one’s askin’ you to,” I said.

“Then why are we stoppin’?”

“Dismount.”

“Qu’est-ce que ce fou à en vu pour nous maintenant?” Monique said.

Scarlett said, “Je ne sais pas. Il ne l’a pas dit.”

“Climb down from your horses,” I said.

“Why?” Leah said.

“We’re gonna mud the scent off you.”

“What?”

“I told you this back at Lick and Casey’s.”

“Well, you didn’t tell me!” Phoebe said.

“Get your asses in the mud,” I said. “All of you.”

“I’ll not do it,” Phoebe said. “Not willingly.”

I hoisted her on my shoulder and tossed her in the mud puddle and rolled her around ’til her hair, face, and clothin’ were a muddy mess. She sputtered and spit, and slapped me when she could, but to her credit, she never cussed.

“Anyone else need a hand?” I said.

“What’s the purpose of this?” Scarlett said.

“Yonder’s bear country. This mud’ll get the female scent off you.”

“I ain’t afraid,” Hester said. “I’ve fucked a few bears in my time.”

“Not like these,” I said. “Look ladies, it’s just mud. If it keeps you alive, what do you care? Just give me a chance to get you through this wild part of the country. You can wash your hair and clothes when we get to the White River.”

“Where’s that?” Gentry said.

“Twelve miles outta Springfield. We’re campin’ there tonight.”

“You gonna talk more fish into the fryin’ pan?” Gentry said.

“We’ll see. In the meantime, get in the mud.”

“With pleasure!” Gentry said.

She ran to the mud puddle full speed and dove into it on her stomach and slid nearly twenty feet. The others thought that looked like fun, so they joined in. Before long they were laughin’ and rollin’ around in the mud, and slappin’ pads of it in each other’s hair.