You said your name is Valdemar?

Valdemar: Oh, so you can say it now. Good!

Tartelet: Excuse me, I was mistaken. You were saying that Babichok...?

Valdemar: Is madly in love with me. Ah! What a woman! What a soul! What a heart! And beautiful! When I think about it, I get palpitations19-right here. (With great feeling) Do you know about palpitations? I think you call them "battements" in French.

Tartelet: Do I know about battements? Of course. In ballet there are big ones and small ones.

Valdemar (surprised): Big ones and small ones?

Tartelet: You raise one leg and move it up and down, while the other leg supports the whole weight of the body. Try it.

Valdemar: Try what?

Tartelet: Some battements. Like this. (He demonstrates) Try it.

Valdemar: (Aside) He's not well! That isn't the kind of palpitation I'm talking about. What a funny kind of scientist!

Tartelet: I'm wondering why you haven't married Babichok, if she loves you so much.

Valdemar: There were two obstacles to our union. In the first place, Babichok considered me too fat and too thin.

Tartelet: How can that be?

Valdemar: Too fat physically and too thin financially.

Tartelet: I see.

Valdemar: Well, yes, I am a little on the plump side, I told her, but when it comes to something you love, the more of it you have, the better. Perhaps she might have gone along with my corpulence, seeing that she was rather skinny herself. Between us, we would have averaged out to make a nice little well-padded couple.

Tartelet: Yes, one would have made up for the other. The only problem left, then, was....

Valdemar: Money! She simply would not let go of that idea. She loves me too much. Valdemar, she would say, I want you to be rich, very rich. I want you to have a fine carriage and beautiful hair-I mean beautiful horses-and beautiful hair, too, of course, and a lovely hotel where I can adore my idol to my heart's content. But to see you in poverty, in misery, I couldn't stand it. I'd rather put up with someone else than endure the pain of sharing your poverty. Tell me, Mr. Tartelet, is that not true love?

Tartelet: That is perfect love. First class.

Valdemar: And so I left in the hope of making my fortune, and by traveling to develop the brilliant qualities of my soul.

Tartelet: You did the right thing. Matthew! Your feet!

Valdemar: I've seen many countries in my time, and benefited from that experience, if I may be so bold as to say so. I've studied the way of life, I've observed the costu ... the customs, and I've jotted down all my poetic impressions in this notebook.

Tartelet: That must be a remarkable notebook.

Valdemar: Look at this, now. "France: admirable country. Paris: admirable country."

Tartelet: That's brief and to the point.

Valdemar: I have to make myself understood. "In Paris, we ate beef, veal, and mutton. Switz ..."20

Tartelet: Swiss mutton?

Valdemar: No, no. There's a period in there.