Morgan.
Eliza stood solidly, enjoying the warmth, pursing her
lips. "When do you expect to have your baby?" said
Eliza suddenly.
Mrs. Morgan said nothing for a moment. She kept
on rocking.
"In less'n a month now, I reckon," she
answered.
She had been getting bigger week after week.
Eliza bent over and pulled her skirt up, revealing
her leg to the knee, cotton-stockinged and lumpily wadded over with
her heavy flannels.
"Whew!" she cried out coyly, noticing that
Eugene was staring. "Turn your head, boy," she commanded,
snickering and rubbing her finger along her nose. The dull
green of rolled banknotes shone through her stockings. She
pulled the bills out.
"Well, I reckon you'll have to have a little
money," said Eliza, peeling off two tens, and giving them to
Mrs. Morgan.
"Thank you, ma'am," said Mrs. Morgan,
taking the money.
"You can stay here until you're able to work
again," said Eliza. "I know a good doctor."
"Mama, in heaven's name," Helen fumed.
"Where on earth do you get these people?"
"Merciful God!" howled Gant, "you've
had 'em all--blind, lame, crazy, chippies and bastards. They
all come here."
Nevertheless, when he saw Mrs. Morgan now, he always
made a profound bow, saying with the most florid courtesy:
"How do you do, madam?" Aside, to
Helen, he said:
"I tell you what--she's a fine-looking girl."
"Hahahaha," said Helen, laughing in an
ironic falsetto, and prodding him, "you wouldn't mind having her
yourself, would you?"
"B'God," he said humorously, wetting his
thumb, and grinning slyly at Eliza, "she's got a pair of
pippins."
Eliza smiled bitterly into popping grease.
"Hm!" she said disdainfully. "I
don't care how many he goes with. There's no fool like an old fool.
You'd better not be too smart. That's a game two can play at."
"Hahahahaha!" laughed Helen thinly, "she's
mad now."
Helen took Mrs. Morgan often to Gant's and cooked
great meals for her. She also brought her presents of candy and
scented soap from town.
They called in McGuire at the birth of the child.
From below Eugene heard the quiet commotion in the upstairs room, the
low moans of the woman, and finally a high piercing wail.
Eliza, greatly excited, kept kettles seething with hot water
constantly over the gas flames of the stove. From time to time
she rushed upstairs with a boiling kettle, descending a moment later
more slowly, pausing from step to step while she listened attentively
to the sounds in the room.
"After all," said Helen, banging kettles
about restlessly in the kitchen, "what do we know about her?
Nobody can say she hasn't got a husband, can they? They'd
better be careful! People have no right to say those things,"
she cried out irritably against unknown detractors.
It was night. Eugene went out on to the
veranda. The air was frosty, clear, not very cool. Above
the black bulk of the eastern hills, and in the great bowl of the
sky, far bright stars were scintillant as jewels. The
light burned brightly in neighborhood houses, as bright and as hard
as if carved from some cold gem. Across the wide yard-spaces wafted
the warm odor of hamburger steak and fried onions. Ben stood at
the veranda rail, leaning upon his cocked leg, smoking with deep lung
inhalations. Eugene went over and stood by him. They
heard the wail upstairs. Eugene snickered, looking up at the
thin ivory mask. Ben lifted his white hand sharply to strike
him, but dropped it with a growl of contempt, smiling faintly.
Far before them, on the top of Birdseye, faint lights wavered in the
rich Jew's castle. In the neighborhood there was a slight mist
of supper, and frost-far voices.
Deep womb, dark flower. The Hidden. The
secret fruit, heart-red, fed by rich Indian blood. Womb-night
brooding darkness flowering secretly into life.
Mrs. Morgan went away two weeks after her child was
born. He was a little brown-skinned boy, with a tuft of elvish
black hair, and very black bright eyes. He was like a little
Indian. Before she left Eliza gave her twenty dollars.
"Where are you going?" she asked.
"I've got folks in Sevier," said Mrs.
Morgan.
She went up the street carrying a cheap
imitation-crocodile valise. At her shoulder the baby waggled his
head, and looked merrily back with his bright black eyes. Eliza
waved to him and smiled tremulously; she turned back into the house
sniffling, with wet eyes.
Why did she come to Dixieland, I wonder? Eugene
thought.
Eliza was good to a little man with a mustache.
He had a wife and a little girl nine years old. He was a hotel
steward; he was out of work and he stayed at Dixieland until he owed
her more than one hundred dollars. But he split kindling
neatly, and carried up coal; he did handy jobs of carpentry, and
painted up rusty places about the house.
She was very fond of him; he was what she called "a
good family man." She liked domestic people; she liked men
who were house-broken. The little man was very kind and very
tame. Eugene liked him because he made good coffee. Eliza
never bothered him about the money. Finally, he got work at the
Inn, and quarters there. He paid Eliza all he owed her.
Eugene stayed late at the school, returning in the
afternoon at three or four o'clock. Sometimes it was almost
dark when he came back to Dixieland. Eliza was fretful at his
absences, and brought him his dinner crisped and dried from its long
heating in the oven. There was a heavy vegetable soup thickly
glutinous with cabbage, beans, and tomatoes, and covered on top with
big grease blisters. There would also be warmed-over beef, pork
or chicken, a dish full of cold lima beans, biscuits, slaw, and
coffee.
But the school had become the centre of his heart and
life--Margaret Leonard his spiritual mother. He liked to be
there most in the afternoons when the crowd of boys had gone, and
when he was free to wander about the old house, under the singing
majesty of great trees, exultant in the proud solitude of that fine
hill, the clean windy rain of the acorns, the tang of burning
leaves. He would read wolfishly until Margaret discovered him
and drove him out under the trees or toward the flat court behind
Bishop Raper's residence at the entrance, which was used for
basketball. Here, while the western sky reddened, he raced down
toward the goal, passing the ball to a companion, exulting in his
growing swiftness, agility, and expertness in shooting the basket.
Margaret Leonard watched his health jealously, almost
morbidly, warning him constantly of the terrible consequences that
followed physical depletion, the years required to build back what
had once been thrown carelessly away.
"Look here, boy!" she would begin, stopping
him in a quiet boding voice. "Come in here a minute.
I want to talk to you."
Somewhat frightened, extremely nervous, he would sit
down beside her.
"How much sleep have you been getting?" she
asked.
Hopefully, he said nine hours a night. That
should be about right.
"Well, make it ten," she commanded
sternly. "See here, 'Gene, you simply can't afford to take
chances with your health. Lordy, boy, I know what I'm talking
about. I've had to pay the price, I tell you. You can't
do anything in this world without your health, boy."
"But I'm all right," he protested
desperately, frightened. "There's nothing wrong with me."
"You're not strong, boy. You've got to get
some meat on your bones. I tell you what, I'm worried by those
circles under your eyes. Do you keep regular hours?"
He did not: he hated regular hours. The
excitement, the movement, the constant moments of crisis at Gant's
and Eliza's had him keyed to their stimulation. The order and
convention of domestic life he had never known. He was
desperately afraid of regularity. It meant dullness and
inanition to him. He loved the hour of midnight.
But obediently he promised her that he would be
regular--regular in eating, sleeping, studying, and exercising.
But he had not yet learned to play with the crowd.
He still feared, disliked and distrusted them.
He shrank from the physical conflict of boy life, but
knowing her eye was upon him he plunged desperately into their games,
his frail strength buffeted in the rush of strong legs, the heavy jar
of strong bodies, picking himself up bruised and sore at heart to
follow and join again the mill of the burly pack. Day after day
to the ache of his body was added the ache and shame of his spirit,
but he hung on with a pallid smile across his lips, and envy and fear
of their strength in his heart. He parroted faithfully all that
John Dorsey had to say about the "spirit of fair play,"
"sportsmanship," "playing the game for the game's
sake," "accepting defeat or victory with a smile," and
so on, but he had no genuine belief or understanding. These
phrases were current among all the boys at the school--they had been
made somewhat too conscious of them and, as he listened, at times the
old, inexplicable shame returned--he craned his neck and drew one
foot sharply off the ground.
And Eugene noted, with the old baffling shame again,
as this cheap tableau of self-conscious, robust, and raucously
aggressive boyhood was posed, that, for all the mouthing of
phrases, the jargon about fair play and sportsmanship, the weaker, at
Leonard's, was the legitimate prey of the stronger. Leonard,
beaten by a boy in a play of wits, or in an argument for justice,
would assert the righteousness of his cause by physical violence.
These spectacles were ugly and revolting: Eugene watched them with
sick fascination.
Leonard himself was not a bad man--he was a man of
considerable character, kindliness, and honest determination.
He loved his family, he stood up with some courage against the
bigotry in the Methodist church, where he was a deacon, and at
length had towithdraw because of his remarks on Darwin's theory.
He was, thus, an example of that sad liberalism of the village--an
advanced thinker among the Methodists, a bearer of the torch at noon,
an apologist for the toleration of ideas that have been established
for fifty years. He tried faithfully to do his duties as a
teacher. But he was of the earth--even his heavy-handed
violence was of the earth, and had in it the unconscious brutality of
nature. Although he asserted his interest in "the things
of the mind," his interest in the soil was much greater, and he
had added little to his stock of information since leaving college.
He was slow-witted and quite lacking in the sensitive intuitions of
Margaret, who loved the man with such passionate fidelity, however,
that she seconded all his acts before the world. Eugene had
even heard her cry out in a shrill, trembling voice against a student
who had answered her husband insolently: "Why, I'd slap
his head off! That's what I'd do!" And the boy had
trembled, with fear and nausea, to see her so. But thus, he
knew, could love change one. Leonard thought his actions wise and
good: he had grown up in a tradition that demanded strict obedience
to the master, and that would not brook opposition to his rulings.
He had learned from his father, a Tennessee patriarch who ran a farm,
preached on Sundays, and put down rebellion in his family with a
horse-whip and pious prayers, the advantages of being God! He
thought little boys who resisted him should be beaten.
Upon the sons of his wealthiest and most prominent
clients, as well as upon his own children, Leonard was careful to
inflict no chastisement, and these young men, arrogantly conscious of
their immunity, were studious in their insolence and disobedience.
The son of the Bishop, Justin Raper, a tall thin boy of thirteen,
with black hair, a thin dark bumpy face, and absurdly petulant lips,
typed copies of a dirty ballad and sold them among the students at
five cents a copy.
"Madam, your daughter
looks very fine,
Slapoon!
Madam, your daughter
looks very fine,
Slapoon!"
Moreover, Leonard surprised this youth one afternoon
in Spring on the eastern flank of the hill, in the thick grass
beneath a flowering dogwood, united in sexual congress with Miss
Hazel Bradley, the daughter of a small grocer who lived below on
Biltburn Avenue, and whose lewdness was already advertised in the
town. Leonard, on second thought, did not go to the Bishop. He
went to the Grocer.
"Well," said Mr. Bradley, brushing his long
mustache reflectively away from his mouth, "you ought to put up
a no-trespassin' sign."
The target of concentrated abuse, both for John
Dorsey and the boys, was the son of a Jew. The boy's name was
Edward Michalove. His father was a jeweller, a man with a dark,
gentle floridity of manner and complexion. He had white
delicate fingers. His counters were filled with old brooches,
gemmed buckles, ancient incrusted watches. The boy had two
sisters--large handsome women. His mother was dead. None of
them looked Jewish: they all had a soft dark fluescence of
appearance.
At twelve, he was a tall slender lad, with dark amber
features, and the mincing effeminacy of an old maid. He was
terrified in the company of other boys, all that was sharp,
spinsterly, and venomous, would come protectively to the surface when
he was ridiculed or threatened, and he would burst into shrill
unpleasant laughter, or hysterical tears. His mincing walk,
with the constant gesture of catching maidenly at the fringe of his
coat as he walked along, his high husky voice, with a voluptuous and
feminine current playing through it, drew upon him at once the
terrible battery of their dislike.
They called him "Miss" Michalove; they
badgered him into a state of constant hysteria, until he became an
unpleasant snarling little cat, holding up his small clawed hands to
scratch them with his long nails whenever they approached; they made
him detestable, master and boys alike, and they hated him for what
they made of him.
Sobbing one day when he had been kept in after school
hours, he leaped up and rushed suddenly for the doors. Leonard,
breathing stertorously, pounded awkwardly after him, and returned in
a moment dragging the screaming boy along by the collar.
"Sit down!" yelled John Dorsey, hurling him
into a desk. Then, his boiling fury unappeased, and baffled by
fear of inflicting some crippling punishment on the boy, he added
illogically: "Stand up!" and jerked him to his feet
again.
"You young upstart!" he panted. "You
little two-by-two whippersnapper! We'll just see, my sonny, if
I'm to be dictated to
by the like of you."
"Take your hands off me!" Edward screamed,
in an agony of physical loathing. "I'll tell my father on
you, old man Leonard, and he'll come down here and kick your big fat
behind all over the lot. See if he don't."
Eugene closed his eyes, unable to witness the
snuffing out of a young life. He was cold and sick about his
heart. But when he opened his eyes again Edward, flushed and
sobbing, was standing where he stood. Nothing had happened.
Eugene waited for God's visitation upon the unhappy
blasphemer. He gathered, from the slightly open paralysis that
had frozen John Dorsey's and Sister Amy's face, that they were
waiting too.
Edward lived. There was nothing beyond
this--nothing.
Eugene thought of this young Jew years later with the
old piercing shame, with the riving pain by which a man recalls the
irrevocable moment of some cowardly or dishonorable act. For
not only did he join in the persecution of the boy--he was also glad
at heart because of the existence of some one weaker than himself,
some one at whom the flood of ridicule might be directed. Years
later it came to him that on the narrow shoulders of that Jew lay a
burden he might otherwise have borne, that that overladen heart was
swollen with a misery that might have been his.
Mr. Leonard's "men of to-morrow" were doing
nicely. The spirit of justice, of physical honor was almost
unknown to them, but they were loud in proclaiming the letter.
Each of them lived in a fear of discovery; each of them who was able
built up his own defenses of swagger, pretense, and loud
assertion--the great masculine flower of gentleness, courage, and
honor died in a foul tangle. The great clan of go-getter was emergent
in young boys--big in voice, violent in threat, withered and pale at
heart--the "He-men" were on the rails.
And Eugene, encysted now completely behind the walls
of his fantasy, hurled his physical body daily to defeat, imitated,
as best he could, the speech, gesture, and bearing of his fellows,
joined, by act or spirit, in the attack on those weaker than himself,
and was compensated sometimes for his bruises when he heard Margaret
say that he was "a boy with a fine spirit." She said
it very often.
He was, fortunately, thanks to Gant and Eliza, a
creature that was dominantly masculine in its sex, but in all his
life, either at home or in school, he had seldom known victory.
Fear he knew well. And so incessant, it seemed to him later, had been
this tyranny of strength, that in his young wild twenties when his
great boneframe was powerfully fleshed at last, and he heard about
him the loud voices, the violent assertion, the empty threat, memory
would waken in him a maniacal anger, and he would hurl the insolent
intruding swaggerer from his path, thrust back the jostler, glare
insanely into fearful surprised faces and curse them.
He never forgot the Jew; he always thought of him
with shame. But it was many years before he could understand
that that sensitive and feminine person, bound to him by the secret
and terrible bonds of his own dishonor, had in him nothing perverse,
nothing unnatural, nothing degenerate. He was as much like a
woman as a man. That was all. There is no place among the
Boy Scouts for the androgyne--it must go to Parnassus.
18
In the years that had followed Eliza's removal to
Dixieland, by a slow inexorable chemistry of union and repellence,
profound changes had occurred in the alignment of the Gants.
Eugene had passed away from Helen's earlier guardianship into the
keeping of Ben. This separation was inevitable. The great
affection she had shown him when he was a young child was based not
on any deep kinship of mind or body or spirit, but on her vast
maternal feeling, something that poured from her in a cataract of
tenderness and cruelty upon young, weak, plastic life.
The time had passed when she could tousle him on the
bed in a smother of slaps and kisses, crushing him, stroking him,
biting and kissing his young flesh. He was not so attractive
physically?he had lost the round contours of infancy, he had grown up
like a weed, his limbs were long and gangling, his feet large, his
shoulders bony, and his head too big and heavy for the scrawny neck
on which it sagged forward. Moreover, he sank deeper year by
year into the secret life, a strange wild thing bloomed darkly in his
face, and when she spoke to him his eyes were filled with the shadows
of great ships and cities.
And this secret life, which she could never touch,
and which she could never understand, choked her with fury. It
was necessary for her to seize life in her big red-knuckled hands, to
cuff and caress it, to fondle, love, and enslave it. Her
boiling energy rushed outward on all things that lived in the touch
of the sun. It was necessary for her to dominate and enslave,
all her virtues?her strong lust to serve, to give, to nurse, to
amuse--came from the imperative need for dominance over almost all
she touched.
She was herself ungovernable; she disliked whatever
did not yield to her governance. In his loneliness he would
have yielded his spirit into bondage willingly if in exchange he
might have had her love which so strangely he had forfeited, but he
was unable to reveal to her the flowering ecstasies, the dark and
incommunicable fantasies in which his life was bound. She hated
secrecy; an air of mystery, a crafty but knowing reticence, or the
unfathomable depths of other-wordliness goaded her to fury.
Convulsed by a momentary rush of hatred, she would
caricature the pout of his lips, the droop of his head, his bounding
kangaroo walk.
"You little freak. You nasty little
freak. You don't even know who you are--you little bastard.
You're not a Gant. Any one cansee that. You haven't a
drop of papa's blood in you. Queer one! Queer one! You're
Greeley Pentland all over again."
She always returned to this--she was fanatically
partisan, her hysterical superstition had already lined the family in
embattled groups of those who were Gant and those who were Pentland.
On the Pentland side, she placed Steve, Daisy, and Eugene--they were,
she thought, the "cold and selfish ones," and the
implication of the older sister and the younger brother with the
criminal member ofthe family gave her an added pleasure. Her
union with Luke was now inseparable. It had been inevitable.
They were the Gants?those who were generous, fine, and honorable.
The love of Luke and Helen was epic. They found
in each other the constant effervescence, the boundless extraversion,
the richness, the loudness, the desperate need to give and to serve
that was life to them. They exacerbated the nerves of each
other, but their lovewas beyond grievance, and their songs of praise
were extravagant.
"I'll criticise him if I like," she said
pugnaciously. "I've got the right to. But I won't
hear any one else criticise him. He's a fine generous boy--the
finest one in this family. That's one thing sure."
Ben alone seemed to be without the grouping. He
moved among themlike a shadow--he was remote from their passionate
fullbloodedpartisanship. But she thought of him as
"generous"--he was, she concluded, a "Gant."
In spite of this violent dislike for the Pentlands,
both Helen and Luke had inherited all Gant's social hypocrisy.
They wanted aboveall else to put a good face on before the world, to
be well likedand to have many friends. They were profuse in
their thanks,extravagant in their praise, cloying in their flattery.
They slathered it on. They kept their ill-temper, their
nervousness, and their irritability for exhibition at home. And
in the presence of any members of Jim or Will Pentland's family their
manner was not only friendly, it was even touched slightly with
servility. Money impressed them.
It was a period of incessant movement in the family.
Steve had married a year or two before a woman from a small town in
lowerIndiana. She was thirty-seven years old, twelve years his
senior, a squat heavy German with a big nose and a patient and ugly
face. She had come to Dixieland one summer with another woman, a
spinster of lifelong acquaintance, and allowed him to seduce her
before she left. The winter following, her father, a small
manufacturer of cigars, had died, leaving her $9,000 in insurance,
his home, a small sum of money in the bank, and a quarter share in
his business, which was left to the management of his two sons.
Early in Spring the woman, whose name was Margaret
Lutz, returned to Dixieland. One drowsy afternoon Eugene found
them at Gant's. The house was deserted save for them. They were
sprawled out face downward, with their hands across each other's
hips, on Gant's bed. They lay there silently, while he looked, in an
ugly stupor. Steve's yellow odor filled the room. Eugene began
to tremble with insane fury. The Spring was warm and lovely,
the air brooded slightly in a flowering breeze, there was a smell of
soft tar. He had come down to the empty house exultantly,
tasting its delicious silence, the cool mustiness of indoors, and a
solitary afternoon with great calf volumes. In a moment the
world turned hag.
There was nothing that Steve touched that he did not
taint.
Eugene hated him because he stunk, because all that
he touched stunk, because he brought fear, shame, and loathing
wherever he went; because his kisses were fouler than his curses, his
whines nastier than his threats. He saw the woman's hair blown
gently by the blubbered exhalations of his brother's foul breath.
"What are you doing there on papa's bed?"
he screamed.
Steve rose stupidly and seized him by the arm.
The woman sat up, dopily staring, her short legs widened.
"I suppose you're going to be a little
Tattle-tale," said Steve, bludgeoning him with heavy contempt.
"You're going to run right up and tell mama, aren't you?"
he said. He fastened his yellow fingers on Eugene's arm.
"Get off papa's bed," said Eugene
desperately. He jerked his arm away.
"You're not going to tell on us, buddy, are
you?" Steve wheedled, breathing pollution in his face. He grew
sick.
"Let me go," he muttered. "No."
Steve and Margaret were married soon after.
With the old sense of physical shame Eugene watched them descend the
stairs at Dixieland each morning for breakfast. Steve swaggered
absurdly, smiled complacently, and hinted at great fortune about the
town. There was rumor of a quarter-million.
"Put it there, Steve," said Harry Tugman,
slapping him powerfully upon the shoulder. "By God, I
always said you'd get there."
Eliza smiled at swagger and boast, her proud,
pleased, tremulous sad smile. The first-born.
"Little Stevie doesn't have to worry any
longer," said he. "He's on Easy Street. Where
are all the Wise Guys now who said 'I told you so'? They're all
mighty glad to give Little Stevie a Big Smile and the Glad Hand when
he breezes down the street. Every Knocker is a Booster now all
right, all right."
"I tell you what," said Eliza with proud
smiles, "he's no fool. He's as bright as the next one when
he wants to be." Brighter, she thought.
Steve bought new clothes, tan shoes, striped silk
shirts, and a wide straw hat with a red, white and blue band.
He swung his shoulders in a wide arc as he walked, snapped his
fingers nonchalantly, and smiled with elaborate condescension on
those who greeted him. Helen was vastly annoyed and amused; she
had to laugh at his absurd strut, and she had a great rush of feeling
for Margaret Lutz. She called her "honey," felt her
eyes mist warmly with unaccountable tears as she looked into the
patient, bewildered, and slightly frightened face of the German
woman. She took her in her arms and fondled her.
"That's all right, honey," she said, "you
let us know if he doesn't treat you right. We'll fix him."
"Steve's a good boy," said Margaret, "when
he isn't drinking. I've nothing to say against him when he's
sober." She burst into tears.
"That awful, that awful curse," said Eliza,
shaking her head sadly, "the curse of licker. It's been
responsible for the ruination of more homes than anything else."
"Well, she'll never win any beauty prizes,
that's one thing sure," said Helen privately to Eliza.
"I'll vow!" said Eliza.
"What on earth did he mean by doing such a
thing!" she continued.
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