This genius is sure that I will listen to him and marry ...

BORKIN: What? Aren’t you sure now?

SHABELSKY: You’re out of your mind ... When was I sure? Huh...

BORKIN: Thanks ... Thanks very much! So does this mean you want to let me down? Now I’ll get married, now I won’t ... the devil himself couldn’t tell which, while I’ve given my word! So you won’t marry?

SHABELSKY [shaking his shoulders]: He seriously ... An amazing man!

BORKIN [getting angry]: In that case why stir up an honest woman? She’s gone crazy over the title, she doesn’t sleep, she doesn’t eat ... Is that something to make a joke about? ... Is that honest?

SHABELSKY [clicking his fingers]: But why in fact don’t I set up the whole filthy business for myself? Why not? To spite everyone! I’ll go and arrange it. My word of honour ... That’ll be fun!

[Enter LV0V.]

II

[The same and LVOV.]

LEBEDEV : To Aesculapius6 our most humble greetings ... [Gives Lvov his hand and sings] ‘Doctor, doctor, save me, I’m frightened to death of death ...’

LVOV: Hasn’t Nikolay Alekseyevich come yet?

LEBEDEV: No, I’ve been waiting for him for over an hour myself.

[LVOV strides impatiently about the stage.]

Well, dear chap, how is Anna Petrovna’s health?

LVOV: Not good.

LEBEDEV [sighing]: Can one go and pay one’s respects?

LVOV: No, please don’t go. I think she’s sleeping ...

[A pause.]

LEBEDEV: She’s so nice, so sweet ... [Sighs.] On Shurochka’s birthday, when she fainted at our house, I looked at her face and I knew then that the poor thing didn’t have long to live. I don’t understand why she felt unwell then. I ran in and looked, she was lying on the floor, very pale; Nikolasha was by her on his knees, he was pale too; Shurochka was all in tears. After that happened Shurochka and I went about for a week as if we were demented.

SHABELSKY [to Lvov) : Tell me, esteemed priest of science, what man of learning discovered that in cases of chest illness it is beneficial for ladies to have the frequent visits of a young doctor? It’s a great discovery. A great one! Is it allopathy or homeopathy?

[LVOV is about to answer but makes a contemptuous gesture with his hand and goes out.]

What an devastating look.

LEBEDEV: The devil’s really got hold of your tongue. Why did you offend him?

SHABELSKY [angrily]: But why does he tell lies? Consumption, no hope, she’ll die ... He’s lying! I can’t tolerate it!

LEBEDEV: Why do you think he’s lying?

SHABELSKY [standing up and walking about]: I can’t admit the notion that a living human being suddenly dies for no good reason. Let’s stop this conversation.

III

[LEBEDEV, SHABELSKY, BORKIN and KOSYKH.]

K0YKH [running in out of breath]: Is Nikolay Alekseyevich at home? Good afternoon. [Quickly shakes everyone’s hand.] Is he at home?

BORKIN: He isn’t here.

KOSYKH [sitting down andjumping up again]: In that case goodbye. [Drinks a glass of vodka and has a quick bite of food.] I’ll drive on ... Business ... I’m worn out ... I can hardly stand on my legs ...

LEBEDEV: Where have you blown in from?

KOSYKH: From Barabanov’s. We played whist7 all night, we’ve only just stopped ... I lost my lot ... That Barabanov plays dreadfully! [Plaintively] Listen: I’m holding hearts the whole time ... [Turns to Borkin, who starts away from him.] He leads with diamonds, I play hearts again, he plays diamonds ... Well, we don’t win a trick. [To Lebedev] We play four clubs, I have in my hand ace, queen and six, in spades ace, ten and three ...

LEBEDEV [blocking his ears]: Spare us, spare us, for Christ’s sake, spare us!

KOSYKH [to the Count]: You understand, in clubs ace, queen and six, in spades ace, ten and three ...

SHABELSKY [pushing him away with his hands]: Go away, I don’t want to listen!

KOSYKH: And suddenly, disaster: the ace of spades is taken in the first hand ...

SHABELSKY[grabbing a revolver from the desk]: Go away, I’ll shoot! ...

KOSYKH [throwing up his hand]: What the hell ...