Among them were senators,
but mainly those who were content to be jesters as well. There were
patricians, old and young, eager for luxury, excess, and enjoyment.
There were women with great names, who did not hesitate to put on a
yellow wig of an evening and seek adventures on dark streets for
amusement's sake. There were also high officials, and priests who
at full goblets were willing to jeer at their own gods. At the side
of these was a rabble of every sort: singers, mimes, musicians,
dancers of both sexes; poets who, while declaiming, were thinking
of the sesterces which might fall to them for praise of Cæsar's
verses; hungry philosophers following the dishes with eager eyes;
finally, noted charioteers, tricksters, miracle-wrights,
tale-tellers, jesters, and the most varied adventurers brought
through fashion or folly to a few days' notoriety. Among these were
not lacking even men who covered with long hair their ears pierced
in sign of slavery.
The most noted sat directly at the tables; the lesser served to
amuse in time of eating, and waited for the moment in which the
servants would permit them to rush at the remnants of food and
drink. Guests of this sort were furnished by Tigellinus, Vatinius,
and Vitelius; for these guests they were forced more than once to
find clothing befitting the chambers of Cæsar, who, however, liked
their society, through feeling most free in it. The luxury of the
court gilded everything, and covered all things with glitter. High
and low, the descendants of great families, and the needy from the
pavements of the city, great artists, and vile scrapings of talent,
thronged to the palace to sate their dazzled eyes with a splendor
almost surpassing human estimate, and to approach the giver of
every favor, wealth, and property,—whose single glance might abase,
it is true, but might also exalt beyond measure.
That day Lygia too had to take part in such a feast. Fear,
uncertainty, and a dazed feeling, not to be wondered at after the
sudden change, were struggling in her with a wish to resist. She
feared Nero; she feared the people and the palace whose uproar
deprived her of presence of mind; she feared the feasts of whose
shamelessness she had heard from Aulus, Pomponia Græcina, and their
friends. Though young, she was not without knowledge, for knowledge
of evil in those times reached even children's ears early. She
knew, therefore, that ruin was threatening her in the palace.
Pomponia, moreover, had warned her of this at the moment of
parting. But having a youthful spirit, unacquainted with
corruption, and confessing a lofty faith, implanted in her by her
foster mother, she had promised to defend herself against that
ruin; she had promised her mother, herself and also that Divine
Teacher in whom she not only believed, but whom she had come to
love with her half-childlike heart for the sweetness of his
doctrine, the bitterness of his death, and the glory of his
resurrection.
She was confident too that now neither Aulus nor Pomponia would
be answerable for her actions; she was thinking therefore whether
it would not be better to resist and not go to the feast. On the
one hand fear and alarm spoke audibly in her soul; on the other the
wish rose in her to show courage in suffering, in exposure to
torture and death. The Divine Teacher had commanded to act thus. He
had given the example himself. Pomponia had told her that the most
earnest among the adherents desire with all their souls such a
test, and pray for it. And Lygia, when still in the house of Aulus,
had been mastered at moments by a similar desire. She had seen
herself as a martyr, with wounds on her feet and hands, white as
snow, beautiful with a beauty not of earth, and borne by equally
white angels into the azure sky; and her imagination admired such a
vision. There was in it much childish brooding, but there was in it
also something of delight in herself, which Pomponia had
reprimanded. But now, when opposition to Cæsar's will might draw
after it some terrible punishment, and the martyrdom scene of
imagination become a reality, there was added to the beautiful
visions and to the delight a kind of curiosity mingled with dread,
as to how they would punish her, and what kind of torments they
would provide. And her soul, half childish yet, was hesitating on
two sides. But Acte, hearing of these hesitations, looked at her
with astonishment as if the maiden were talking in a fever. To
oppose Cæsar's will, expose oneself from the first moment to his
anger? To act thus one would need to be a child that knows not what
it says. From Lygia's own words it appears that she is, properly
speaking, not really a hostage, but a maiden forgotten by her own
people. No law of nations protects her; and even if it did, Cæsar
is powerful enough to trample on it in a moment of anger. It has
pleased Cæsar to take her, and he will dispose of her. Thenceforth
she is at his will, above which there is not another on earth.
"So it is," continued Acte. "I too have read the letters of Paul
of Tarsus, and I know that above the earth is God, and the Son of
God, who rose from the dead; but on the earth there is only Cæsar.
Think of this, Lygia. I know too that thy doctrine does not permit
thee to be what I was, and that to you as to the Stoics,—of whom
Epictetus has told me,—when it comes to a choice between shame and
death, it is permitted to choose only death.
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