buy the things they need... things to bring them pleasure.

Hallemeier This all sounds very nice; only robots don’t feel pleasure. And what are these things they’re supposed to buy? They can be fed on pineapples, straw, anything you like; it’s all the same to them, they haven’t got a sense of taste. There’s nothing they’re interested in, Miss Glory. It’s not as if anyone’s ever seen a robot laugh.

Helena Why... why... why don’t you make them happier?

Hallemeier We couldn’t do that, they’re only robots after all. They’ve got no will of their own. No passions. No hopes. No soul.

Helena And no love and no courage?

Hallemeier Well of course they don’t feel love. Robots don’t love anything, not even themselves. And courage? I’m not so sure about that; a couple of times, not very often, mind, they have shown some resistance...

Helena What?

Hallemeier Well, nothing in particular, just that sometimes they seem to, sort of, go silent. It’s almost like some kind of epileptic fit. ‘Robot cramp’, we call it. Or sometimes one of them might suddenly smash whatever’s in its hand, or stand still, or grind their teeth – and then they just have to go on the scrap heap. It’s clearly just some technical disorder.

Domin Some kind of fault in the production.

Helena No, no, that’s their soul!

Fabry Do you think that grinding teeth is the beginnings of a soul?

Domin We can solve that problem, Miss Glory. Doctor Gall is carrying out some experiments right now.

Dr. Gall No, not quite yet, Domin, at present I’m working on nerves for feeling pain.

Helena Nerves for feeling pain?

Dr. Gall That’s right. Robots have virtually no sense of physical pain, as young Rossum simplified the nervous system a bit too much. That turns out to have been a mistake and so we’re working on pain now.

Helena Why... why... if you don’t give them a soul why do you want to give them pain?

Dr. Gall For good industrial reasons, Miss Glory. The robots sometimes cause themselves damage because it causes them no pain; they do things such as pushing their hand into a machine, cutting off a finger or even smash their heads in. It just doesn’t matter to them. But if they have pain it’ll be an automatic protection against injuries.

Helena Will they be any the happier when they can feel pain?

Dr. Gall Quite the opposite, but it will be a technical improvement.

Helena Why don’t you create a soul for them?

Dr. Gall That’s not within our power.

Fabry That wouldn’t be in our interest.

Busman That would raise production costs. Just think how cheaply we make them; a hundred and twenty dollars each, complete with clothing, and fifteen years ago they cost ten thousand! Five years ago we still had to buy the clothes for them, but now we have our own weaving mills and even sell material at a fifth of the price of other mills. Tell me, Miss Glory, what is it you pay for a metre of cloth?

Helena I don’t know.. I really don’t know... I’ve forgotten.

Busman Dear dear me, and you were wanting to establish the League of Humanity! Cloth now a days is three times cheaper, miss, the prices of everything are three times cheaper and they’re still going down and down and down.

Helena I don’t see what you mean.

Busman Dear lady, what I mean is that the price of labour is getting cheaper! Even with its food, a robot costs no more than three quarters of a cent per hour! It’s wonderful; every factory is buying robots as quick as they can to reduce production costs, and those that aren’t are going bankrupt.

Helena Yes, that’s right, and throwing their workers out on the streets.

Busman Haha, well of course they are! And while they are doing that we are putting five hundred thousand tropical robots out on the Argentine pampas to cultivate wheat. Tell me, what does a loaf of bread cost where you come from?

Helena I’ve no idea.

Busman There, you see; in good old Europe, a loaf of bread now costs two cents; but that bread comes from us, do you see? Two cents a loaf; and the League of Humanity has no idea! Haha, Miss Glory, you do not even know if you are paying too much for a crust. Or too much for society or for anything else. But in five years’ time, dear me, do sit down!

Helena What?

Busman In five years’ time, the price will be a tenth of a cent. We’ll be drowning in wheat and in everything else you can think of.

Alquist Yes, and all the workers in the world will be out of a job.

Domin (standing) Yes, they will be, Alquist. They will be, Miss Glory. But in ten years’ time Rossum’s Universal Robots will be making so much wheat, so much material, so much of everything that nothing will cost anything. Everyone will be able to just take as much as he needs. Nobody will live in poverty. They won’t have jobs, that’s true, but that’s because there won’t be any jobs to do. Everything will be done by living machines. People will do only the things they want to do, they can live their lives just so that they can make themselves perfect.

Helena (standing) Do you think that’s really going to happen?

Domin That’s really going to happen. It couldn’t possibly not happen. There might be some terrible things that happen before that, Miss Glory, that just can’t be avoided, but then man will stop being the servant of other men or the slave of material things. Nobody will have to pay for a loaf of bread with his life and with hatred. You’re not a labourer any more, you don’t have to sit at a typewriter all day, you don’t have to go and dig coal or stand minding somebody else’s machines. You don’t need to lose your soul doing work that you hate.

Alquist Domin, Domin! You’re making all this sound too much like Paradise. Don’t you think there was something good about serving others, something great about humility? Wasn’t there some sort of dignity about working and getting tired after a day’s labour?

Domin Maybe there was. But we can’t always be thinking about the things we lost by changing the world as Adam knew it. Adam had to gain his bread by the sweat of his brow, he had to suffer hunger and thirst, tiredness and humiliation; now is the time when we can go back to the paradise where Adam was fed by the hand of God, when man was free and supreme; man will once more be free of labour and anguish, and his only task will once again be to make himself perfect, to become the lord of creation.

Helena Now you’re confusing me; I’m only a silly girl. But I wish, I really wish I could believe in all that.

Dr. Gall You’re younger than we are, Miss Glory. Just you wait and see.

Hallemeier It’s all quite true. I think Miss Glory might like to have breakfast with us.

Dr. Gall Well of course she can! Domin, make the invitation, on our behalf.

Domin Miss Glory, please do us the honour.

Helena But, how can I, now?

Fabry On behalf of the League of Humanity.

Busman In honour of the League of Humanity

Helena Ah well, in that case....

Fabry That’s good! Miss Glory, please excuse us for five minutes.

Dr. Gall Pardon me...

Busman Dear me, I must send that telegram...

Hallemeier Hell, I nearly forgot...

(All hurry out, except Domin)

Helena Why have they all gone?

Domin To do the cooking.

Helena What cooking.

Domin The breakfast, Miss Glory. The robots do the cooking for us, only, er, as they’ve got no sense of taste it’s not always, er... but Hallemeier is excellent with meat. And Gall does a sort of sauce, and Busman knows how to make omelettes...

Helena This is going to be quite a feast! And what does Mr., er, the builder do?

Domin Alquist? Nothing. He just lays the table and, er, Fabry gets some fruit. It’s only a very modest kitchen, really.

Helena There’s something I wanted to ask you...

Domin I’ve been wanting to ask you something too. (puts his watch on the table) We’ve got five minutes.

Helena What did you want to ask?

Domin No, please, you started to ask first.

Helena Maybe it’s stupid of me, but.... Why do you make female robots when,... when...

Domin... when they don’t have, er, when gender has no meaning for them?

Helena That’s right.

Domin It’s a matter of supply and demand. You see, housemaids, shop staff, typists... people are used to them being female.

Helena And, tell me, towards each other, the male robots and the female robots, are they, er...

Domin Simply indifferent to each other. There’s no sign of any attraction for each other at all.

Helena Oh, that’s horrible!

Domin Why?

Helena It’s just so... so unnatural! You don’t even know whether you’re supposed to loathe them or... or to envy them... or...

Domin... or feel sorry for them?

Helena Most likely, yes! No, stop it! What was it you were going to ask?

Domin I’d like to ask you, Miss Glory, if you would marry me?

Helena What?

Domin Marry me.

Helena No! What are you thinking of?

Domin (looks at watch) There are three minutes left. If you don’t marry me you’ll have to marry one of the other five.

Helena Oh for God’s sake! Why would I marry any of you?

Domin Because they’ll all ask you one after the other.

Helena How would they dare?

Domin Well I’m afraid they all seem to have fallen in love with you.

Helena Well I don’t want them to do that! I’m leaving.

Domin But surely you wouldn’t do that, Helena, you’d make them so sad.

Helena I can’t marry all six of you, can I!

Domin No, but you can marry one. If you won’t have me maybe Fabry would do.

Helena I don’t want to.

Domin Doctor Gall.

Helena No, no, be quiet! I don’t want any of you!

Domin There are two minutes left.

Helena This is awful! Marry one of the robots.

Domin A robot isn’t a woman.

Helena And that’s all you want, is it! I get the impression you’d... you’d marry anyone who turned up here.

Domin Enough have been here already.

Helena Young?

Domin Young.

Helena Why didn’t you marry any of them?

Domin Because I didn’t lose my head over them. Not till today. As soon as you took off your veil.

Helena... I know.

Domin One minute left.

Helena But I don’t want to, for God’s sake!

Domin (putting both hands on her shoulders) One minute left. Either you look me in they eye and say something quite repulsive so that I drop you, or else...

Helena You’re just a ruffian!

Domin That doesn’t matter. A man is supposed to be a bit of a ruffian, that’s part of being a man.

Helena You’re mad!

Domin People are supposed to be a little bit mad, Helena. That’s the best thing about them.

Helena You’re... you’re... Oh God!

Domin There, you see? Are you ready now?

Helena No, no! Please let go of me! You’re crushing me!

Domin Your final word, Helena.

Helena (defending herself) Not for anything in the world...