Our shop had an exceptionally interesting stock, yet I doubt whether ten per cent of our customers knew a good book
from a bad one. First edition snobs were much commoner than lovers of literature, but oriental students haggling over cheap
textbooks were commoner still, and vague-minded women looking for birthday presents for their nephews were commonest of all.
Many of the people who came to us were of the kind who would be a nuisance anywhere but have special opportunities in a bookshop.
For example, the dear old lady who ‘wants a book for an invalid’ (a very common demand, that), and the other dear old lady
who read such a nice book in 1897 and wonders whether you can find her a copy. Unfortunately she doesn’t remember the title
or the author’s name or what the book was about, but she does remember that it had a red cover. But apart from these there
are two well-known types of pest by whom every second-hand bookshop is haunted. One is the decayed person smelling of old breadcrusts who comes every day, sometimes several times a day, and tries to sell you worthless
books. The other is the person who orders large quantities of books for which he has not the smallest intention of paying.
In our shop we sold nothing on credit, but we would put books aside, or order them if necessary, for people who arranged to
fetch them away later. Scarcely half the people who ordered books from us ever came back. It used to puzzle me at first. What
made them do it? They would come in and demand some rare and expensive book, would make us promise over and over again to
keep it for them, and then would vanish never to return. But many of them, of course, were unmistakable paranoiacs. They used
to talk in a grandiose manner about themselves and tell the most ingenious stories to explain how they had happened to come
out of doors without any money – stories which, in many cases, I am sure they themselves believed. In a town like London there
are always plenty of not quite certifiable lunatics walking the streets, and they tend to gravitate towards bookshops, because
a bookshop is one of the few places where you can hang about for a long time without spending any money. In the end one gets
to know these people almost at a glance. For all their big talk there is something moth-eaten and aimless about them. Very
often, when we were dealing with an obvious paranoiac, we would put aside the books he asked for and then put them back on
the shelves the moment he had gone. None of them, I noticed, ever attempted to take books away without paying for them; merely
to order them was enough – it gave them, I suppose, the illusion that they were spending real money.
Like most second-hand bookshops we had various sidelines. We sold second-hand typewriters, for instance, and also stamps – used stamps, I mean. Stamp-collectors are a strange, silent, fish-like breed, of all ages, but only of the male sex; women,
apparently, fail to see the peculiar charm of gumming bits of coloured paper into albums. We also sold sixpenny horoscopes
compiled by somebody who claimed to have foretold the Japanese earthquake. They were in sealed envelopes and I never opened
one of them myself, but the people who bought them often came back and told us how ‘true’ their horoscopes had been. (Doubtless
any horoscope seems ‘true’ if it tells you that you are highly attractive to the opposite sex and your worst fault is generosity.)
We did a good deal of business in children’s books, chiefly ‘remainders’. Modern books for children are rather horrible things,
especially when you see them in the mass. Personally I would sooner give a child a copy of Petronius Arbiter than Peter Pan, but even Barrie seems manly and wholesome compared with some of his later imitators. At Christmas time we spent a feverish
ten days struggling with Christmas cards and calendars, which are tiresome things to sell but good business while the season
lasts. It used to interest me to see the brutal cynicism with which Christian sentiment is exploited. The touts from the Christmas
card firms used to come round with their catalogues as early as June. A phrase from one of their invoices sticks in my memory.
It was: ‘2 doz. Infant Jesus with rabbits’.
But our principal sideline was a lending library – the usual ‘twopenny no-deposit’ library of five or six hundred volumes,
all fiction. How the book thieves must love those libraries! It is the easiest crime in the world to borrow a book at one
shop for twopence, remove the label and sell it at another shop for a shilling. Nevertheless booksellers generally find that
it pays them better to have a certain number of books stolen (we used to lose about a dozen a month) than to frighten customers away by demanding a deposit.
Our shop stood exactly on the frontier between Hampstead and Camden Town, and we were frequented by all types from baronets
to bus-conductors.
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