All you have to do is sketch it out and then it’s performed.

TOMMY: Jeremy, this may sound crazy, but I think they’ve got the makings of a very good play here. There’s plenty of time to plug Karen into King Stag. Why don’t we use the rest of this evening to try it out?

JEREMY: It’s tempting. It just might work.

FATHER: It will work. Wait till you see what great things come out of it. I can give you a scene breakdown right now.

JEREMY: I’m tempted, I’m tempted. What do you say, fellows, should we give it a whirl? (the actors are more or less in agreement, except for Chuck who shouts “No!”) All right, come into the green room and we’ll copy down an outline, (to Chuck) I can’t concentrate here with all this enthusiasm. Okay, Scott, take a short break.

SCOTT: How long a break, Jeremy?

JEREMY: Oh, just a couple of minutes, (as Scott calls: “This is not an official break. Just stay here, and no one leave the theatre,” Jeremy says to Father) Let’s go. I have a feeling we may be onto something here.

FATHER: Absolutely. Don’t you think the others should come too?

JEREMY: Yes, would you people come along. Children, madam, you, sir, kiddies, (going, he turns to the actors) I won’t be more than a couple of minutes.

(As Jeremy and the six Characters exit, leaving the actors on stage, Will says: “Jeremy, make me the young lover.” Jeremy: “We’re not doing science fiction.”)

CHUCK: Scott, is Jeremy serious about this?

SCOTT: You heard him as well as I did, Chuck.

KAREN: I think he had a little too much Beaujolais at dinner.

TOMMY: I hate to always be Andy Hardy around here, but is it going to kill us to try something new for a change?

WILL: How are we supposed to make up a play in five minutes?

CHUCK: I’m not going to get on stage with six people who walk in off the street.

TOMMY: Would you rather rehearse King Stag for the nine millionth time?

WILL: (screaming) No!!!!

KAREN: Well, if you put it that way.

WILL: Who the hell are these people?

CHUCK: Escapees from McLean’s.

TOMMY: Well, Jeremy is certainly taking them seriously.

CHUCK: Come on—Jeremy thought Mr. Ed was great art.

KAREN: You know, this is like the stuff we used to do at The Next Move …

WILL: … get in there and work from zero …

CHUCK: (interrupting) You mean your IQ? I’m going out to the lobby to get a Coke. (He goes out into the lounge, through the side door The actors keep talking until Jeremy returns.)

TOMMY: Get an attitude check.

SCOTT: Anthony, you still awake?

WILL: (after a pause) You know, an empty theatre always gives me the spooks. It’s like the ghosts of all the shows we’ve done are somewhere on the stage.

KAREN: And all the characters we’ve played.

TOMMY: Isn’t that what those people were trying to say? Do you think it’s possible for a dramatic character to continue to exist after an actor’s done playing the part?

WILL: Take it easy, Tommy. All I said was, an empty theatre gives me the spooks.

TOMMY: No, but listen. Isn’t that what we try to do when we act—we try to bring life to something that’s dead on the page. Now who’s to say if when we bring this character to life, you know, this personality, that maybe it does continue to live on in some way. Maybe it does haunt the theatre, you know.

KAREN: If that’s the case, there’s a lot more male ghosts hanging around this stage than females.

TOMMY: Wouldn’t you feel better if you knew something you’d created, that you brought to life, could continue to exist? I mean, in the movies there’s a record; but here, on the stage, all we do is rehearse it, perform it, and then it closes and it’s gone.

KAREN: Until the next role.

TOMMY: But it’s the same way every play.

WILL: Except for King Stag, which goes on forever.

TOMMY: Well, that’s the exception to the rule.

KAREN: I think I see what Tommy means. All these people are asking is to be taken seriously. Maybe we should give them a chance. What have we got to lose?

WILL: I don’t think we have any choice when Jeremy’s already decided to do their play.

KAREN: Well, if we have to do it, let’s at least have some fun with it.

WILL: I’ll do it, but don’t expect me to enjoy it.

TOMMY: Nobody expects miracles.

KAREN: Scott, where’s Jeremy?

JEREMY: (returning with the Characters) Okay, Scott, I think we’ve got something. It’s going to be a lot of fun but a lot of hard work.

TOMMY: And we don’t have a lot of time.

JEREMY: Let’s get going. Is everyone here?

SCOTT: Chuck’s in the lobby.

JEREMY: Chuck’s in the lobby? Well, we’ll go without Chuck. Scott, I’m going to need your help. They want some props, some furniture and some costumes.

SCOTT: Sure, fine.

JEREMY: First they want a sofa.

(Scott makes arrangements with Anthony, who lugs on the required materials. Meanwhile, Chuck, still wearing his headphones, wanders into the house from the side door and is greeted by the other actors, inquiring about the score of the game. Jeremy shoots him an impatient look.)

ANTHONY: What sofa?

SCOTT: You know, that little green sofa in the wings.

STEPDAUGHTER: No, it wasn’t green. And it wasn’t little. It was a big yellow convertible couch with beer stains on it.