I shouldn’t have been such a 
. We actually have a lot in common, you & me.
Laertes
Thx. I need 
2 think about everything, but I appreciate ur text.
Hamlet, Horatio, Laertes, Claudius, and Gertrude have checked into the Elsinore Castle Lobby.
Horatio
Hello, and welcome to the @Laertes 
@Hamlet “Elsinore Castle Throwdown.” I will be live-posting events as they happen. 
REPLY
Claudius: Let’s get this 
started!!!
Horatio
+1 for @Hamlet!
REPLY
Claudius: I’ll drink to that. Good work, son!
Gertrude: Save some 
for me. 
Horatio
+1 again for @Hamlet. I thought @Laertes was the swordsman? #Rumors #2Good2BTrue
REPLY
Gertrude: Cheers, @Hamlet! 
I drink to your health!
Claudius: NO! @Gertrude! Do NOT drink that wine.
Gertrude: Too late! #NomNomNom
Horatio
+1 for @Laertes! It looks like he’s drawn blood from @Hamlet’s shoulder!! 
Is he using a real sword?! #CheaterCheater
REPLY
Crowd: Booooo!
Horatio
Okay, well, now @Laertes and @Hamlet are just 
. This is some crazy 
.
REPLY
Horatio
What’s this? @Hamlet and @Laertes have accidentally switched swords! Well, we’ve never seen this before, folks, nor are we likely to see it again!
REPLY
Crowd: We’re getting our 
worth! 
Horatio
The Queen has collapsed in the stands! Someone call the 
!! Wait, I’m on my 
. *facepalm* Hold on.…
REPLY
Group text: Hamlet, Laertes, Claudius, Gertrude
Hamlet
OUT! Laertes needs help.
Laertes
Hamlet, we’ve been poisoned by my sword. There’s no antidote on 
. We r both about 2 
. I’m 
by my own treachery. #MyBad
But rly it’s all 
Claudius’s fault!!!
Claudius
Who, me?! 
Hamlet
Mom! What’s wrong?
Claudius
She fainted at the sight of u & Laertes bleeding.
Gertrude
No. It was the 
. Hamlet, I’ve been poisoned!
Hamlet
MOM! NO!!!!!!! 
Horatio
@Laertes is dying right before our 
. And OMG! @Hamlet has stopped fencing and is forcing the poisoned down @Claudius’s throat! Now he’s stabbed the 
!!
REPLY
Crowd: Treason!!! 
Horatio: The king and queen are now .
Crowd: *gasp*
Hamlet
Laertes
Hamlet, dude, I’m so sry. Do u forgive me? I forgive u. It was all Claudius.
Hamlet
On that we can agree.
We’re cool. Die in 
.
Fortinbras has checked into Elsinore Castle—with 10,000 others.
Hamlet
I’m dying, Horatio.
Horatio
NO. Hamlet. Stay away from the 
!
Hamlet
There’s not much 
. My hands are growing too weak to type. You are the only one who can tell the real 
now. My dad, Gertrude, Claudius, Laertes, Polonius, and Ophelia. All dead and gone. #RIP #ExceptClaudius
Horatio
Hamlet, I can’t. I’ll drink the poison, too! 
Hamlet
NO. 
Horatio, listen. Not only does someone need to clean up all these bodies, but you’re the only one left who knows the truth.
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