It was no longer ago than last year about this time, that he was tormented the livelong night by two mischievous spirits that got into his chamber, and played a thousand pranks about his hammock, (for there is not one bed within his walls.) Well, Sir, he rung his bell, called up all his servants, got lights, and made a thorough search; but the devil a goblin was to be found. He had no sooner turned in again, and the rest of the family gone to sleep, than the foul fiends began their game anew. The commodore got up in the dark, drew his cutlass, and attacked them both so manfully, that, in five minutes, every thing in the apartment went to pieces. The lieutenant hearing the noise, came to his assistance; and Tom Pipes being told what was the matter, lighted his match, and going down to the yard, fired all the patereroes, as signals of distress. Well, to be sure, the whole parish was in a pucker: some thought the French had landed; others imagined the commodore's house was beset by thieves: for my own part, I called up two dragoons that are quartered upon me; and they swore with deadly oaths, it was a gang of smugglers engaged with a party of their regiment that lies in the next village; and mounting their horses like lusty fellows, rode up into the country as fast as their beasts could carry them. Ah, Master! these are hard times, when an industrious body cannot earn his bread, without fear of the gallows. Your worship's father (God rest his soul!) was a good gentleman, and as well respected in this parish, as e'er a he that walks upon neat's leather. And if your honour should want a small parcel of fine tea, or a few anchors of right Nantz, I'll be bound you shall be furnished to your heart's content. But, as I was saying, the hubbub continued till morning, when the parson being sent for, conjured the spirits into the Red Sea; and the house has been pretty quiet ever since. True it is, Mr. Hatchway makes a mock of the whole affair; and told his commander in this very blessed spot, that the two goblins were no other than a couple of jackdaws which had fallen down the chimney, and made a flapping with their wings up and down the apartment. But the commodore, who is very choleric, and does not like to be jeered, fell into a main high passion, and stormed like a perfect hurricane, swearing that he knew a devil from a jackdaw as well as e'er a man in the three kingdoms. He owned, indeed, that the birds were found, but denied that they were the occasion of the uproar. For my own part, Master, I believe much may be said on both sides of the question; thof to be sure, the devil is always going about, as the saying is.«

This circumstantial account, extraordinary as it was, never altered one feature in the countenance of Mr. Pickle, who having heard it to an end, took the pipe from his mouth, saying, with a look of infinite sagacity and deliberation, »I do suppose he is of the Cornish Trunnions. What sort of a woman is his spouse?« »Spouse! (cried the other) odd's heart! I don't think he would marry the queen of Sheba. Lack a day! Sir, he won't suffer his own maids to lie in the garrison, but turns them into an out-house, every night, before the watch is set. Bless your honour's soul! he is, as it were, a very oddish kind of a gentleman. Your worship would have seen him before now; for, when he is well, he and my good master Hatchway come hither every evening, and drink a couple of canns of rumbo apiece; but he has been confined to his house this fortnight, by a plaguy fit of the gout, which, I'll assure your worship, is a good penny out of my pocket.«

At that instant, Mr. Pickle's ears were saluted with such a strange noise, as even discomposed the muscles of his face, which gave immediate indications of alarm. This composition of notes at first resembled the crying of quails, and croaking of bull-frogs; but, as it approached nearer, he could distinguish articulate sounds pronounced with great violence, in such a cadence as one would expect from a human creature scolding thro' the organs of an ass. It was neither speaking nor braying, but a surprising mixture of both, employed in the utterance of terms absolutely unintelligible to our wondering merchant, who had just opened his mouth to express his curiosity, when the landlord, starting up at the well known sound, cried, »Odd's niggers! there is the commodore with his company, as sure as I live!« and with his apron began to wipe the dust off an elbow-chair placed at one side of the fire, and kept sacred for the ease and convenience of this infirm commander. While he was thus occupied, a voice still more uncouth than the former, bawled aloud, »Ho! the house, a hoy!« Upon which the publican, clapping an hand to each side of his head, with his thumbs fixed on his ears, rebellowed in the same tone, which he had learned to imitate, »Hilloah.« The voice again exclaimed, »Have you got any attorneys aboard?« and when the landlord replied, »No, no;« this man of strange expectation came in, supported by his two dependants, and displayed a figure every way answerable to the oddity of his character. He was in stature at least six feet high, tho' he had contracted an habit of stooping, by living so long on board; his complexion was tawny, and his aspect rendered hideous by a large scar across his nose, and a patch that covered the place of one eye. Being seated in his chair, with great formality the landlord complimented him upon his being able to come abroad again; and having, in a whisper, communicated the name of his fellow-guest, whom the commodore already knew by report, went to prepare, with all imaginable dispatch, the first allowance of his favourite liquor, in three separate canns, (for each was accommodated with his own portion apart) while the lieutenant sat down on the blind-side of his commander; and Tom Pipes, knowing his distance, with great modesty took his station in the rear. After a pause of some minutes, the conversation was begun by this ferocious chief, who fixing his eye upon the lieutenant with a sternness of countenance not to be described, addressed him in these words: »D–n my eyes! Hatchway, I always took you to be a better seaman than to overset our chaise in such fair weather. Blood! didn't I tell you we were running bump ashore, and bid you set in the lee-brace, and haul upon a wind?« »Yes, (replied the other with an arch sneer) I do confess as how you did give such orders, after you had run us foul of a post, so as that the carriage lay along, and could not right herself.« »I run you foul of a post! (cried the commander) d–n my heart! you're a pretty dog, an't you, to tell me so above board to my face? Did I take charge of the chaise? Did I stand at the helm?« »No; (answered Hatchway) that I must confess you did not steer; but howsomever, you cunned all the way, and so, as you could not see how the land lay, being blind of your larboard eye, we were fast ashore, before you knew any thing of the matter. Pipes, who stood abaft, can testify the truth of what I say.« »D–n my limbs! (resumed the commodore) I don't value what you or Pipes says, a rope yarn. You're a couple of mutinous –– I'll say no more; but, you shan't run your rig upon me. Damn ye, I am the man that learnt you, Jack Hatchway, to splice a rope, and raise a perpendicular.«

The lieutenant, who was perfectly well acquainted with the trim of his captain, did not chuse to carry on the altercation any farther; but, taking up his cann, drank to the health of the stranger, who very courteously returned the compliment, without, however, presuming to join in the conversation, which suffered a considerable pause.