Hatchway, resolved to level this obstruction to her success, and actually found means to interest him in her scheme. She had indeed, on some occasions, a particular knack at making converts, being probably not unacquainted with that grand system of persuasion, which is adopted by the greatest personages of the age, as fraught with maxims much more effectual than all the eloquence of Tully or Demosthenes, even when supported by the demonstrations of truth: besides, Mr. Hatchway's fidelity to his new ally, was confirmed by his foreseeing in his captain's marriage an infinite fund of gratification for his own cynical disposition. Thus, therefore, converted and properly cautioned, he for the future suppressed all the virulence of his wit against the matrimonial state; and as he knew not how to open his mouth in the positive praise of any person whatever, took all opportunities of excepting Mrs. Grizzle by name, from the censures he liberally bestowed upon the rest of her sex. »She is not a drunkard, like Nan Castick of Deptford; (he would say) nor a nincompoop, like Peg Simper of Woolwich; nor a brimstone, like Kate Coddle of Chatham; nor a shrew, like Nell Griffin on the Point Portsmouth; (ladies to whom at different times, they had both paid their addresses) but a tight, good humoured sensible wench, who knows very well how to box her compass; well trimmed aloft, and well sheathed alow, with a good commodity under her hatches.« The commodore at first imagined this commendation was ironical, but hearing it repeated again and again, was filled with astonishment at this surprising change in the lieutenant's behaviour; and after a long fit of musing, concluded that Hatchway himself harboured a matrimonial design on the person of Mrs. Grizzle.

Pleased with this conjecture, he rallied Jack in his turn, and one night toasted her health as a compliment to his passion; a circumstance which the lady learning next day by the usual canal of her intelligence, and interpreting as the result of his own tenderness for her, she congratulated herself upon the victory she had obtained; and thinking it unnecessary to continue the reserve she had hitherto industriously affected, resolved from that day to sweeten her behaviour towards him with such a dash of affection, as could not fail to persuade him that he had inspired her with a reciprocal flame. In consequence of this determination he was invited to dinner, and while he staid, treated with such cloying proofs of her regard, that not only the rest of the company, but even Trunnion himself perceived her drift; and taking the alarm accordingly, could not help exclaiming, »Oho! I see how the land lies, and if I don't weather the point, I'll be damn'd.« Having thus expressed himself to his afflicted inamorata, he made the best of his way to the garrison, in which he shut himself up for the space of ten days, and had no communication with his friends and domesticks but by looks, which were most significantly picturesque.

 

 

Chapter VII

Divers Stratagems are invented and put in Practice, in order to overcome the Obstinacy of Trunnion, who at length is teized and tortured into the Noose of Wedlock

 

This abrupt departure and unkind declaration affected Mrs. Grizzle so much, that she fell sick of sorrow and mortification; and after having confined herself to her bed for three days, sent for her brother, told him she perceived her end drawing near, and desired that a lawyer might be brought, in order to write her last will. Mr. Pickle surprised at her demand, began to act the part of a comforter, assuring her that her distemper was not at all dangerous; and that he would instantly send for a physician, who would convince her that she was in no manner of jeopardy; so that there was no occasion at present, to employ any officious attorney in such a melancholy task. Indeed, this affectionate brother was of opinion that a will was altogether superfluous at any rate, as he himself was heir at law to his sister's whole real and personal estate. But she insisted upon his compliance with such determined obstinacy, that he could no longer resist her importunities; and a scrivener arriving, she dictated and executed her will, in which she bequeathed to commodore Trunnion one thousand pounds, to purchase a mourning ring, which she hoped he would wear as a pledge of her friendship and affection. Her brother, though he did not much relish this testimony of her love, nevertheless that same evening gave an account of this particular to Mr. Hatchway, who was also, as Mr. Pickle assured him, generously remembered by the testatrix.

The lieutenant fraught with this piece of intelligence, watched for an opportunity, and as soon as he perceived the commodore's features a little unbended from that ferocious contraction they had suffered so long, ventured to inform him that Pickle's sister lay at the point of death, and that she had left him a thousand pounds in her will. This piece of news overwhelmed him with confusion, and Mr. Hatchway imputing his silence to remorse, resolved to take advantage of that favourable moment, and counselled him to go and visit the poor young woman, who was dying for love of him. But his admonition happened to be somewhat unseasonable; for Trunnion no sooner heard him mention the cause of her disorder than his morosity recurring, he burst out into a violent fit of cursing, and forthwith betook himself again to his hammock, where he lay uttering in a low growling tone of voice, a repetition of oaths and imprecations, for the space of four and twenty hours, without ceasing. This was a delicious meal to the lieutenant, who eager to inhance the pleasure of the entertainment still more, and at the same time conduce to the success of the cause he had espoused, invented a stratagem, the execution of which had all the effect he could desire. He prevailed upon Pipes, who was devoted to his service, to get upon the top of the chimney belonging to the commodore's chamber, at midnight, and to lower down by a rope a bunch of stinking whitings, which being performed, he put a speaking-trumpet to his mouth, and hollowed down the vent, in a voice like thunder, »Trunnion! Trunnion! turn out and be spliced, or lie still and be damned.« This dreadful note, the terror of which was increased by the silence and darkness of the night, as well as the eccho of the passage through which it was conveyed, no sooner reached the ears of the astonished commodore, than turning his eye towards the place from whence this solemn address seemed to proceed, he beheld a glittering object that vanished in an instant; and just as his superstitious fear had improved the apparition into some supernatural messenger cloathed in shining array, his opinion was confirmed by a sudden explosion, which he took for thunder, though it was no other than the noise of a pistol fired down the chimney by the boatswain's mate, according to the instructions he had received; and he had time enough to descend before he was in any danger of being detected by his commander, who could not for a whole hour recollect himself from the amazement and consternation which had overpowered his faculties.

At length, however, he got up and rung his bell with great agitation. He repeated the summons more than once, but no regard being paid to this alarm, his dread returned with double terror, a cold sweat bedewed his limbs, his knees knocked together, his hair bristled up, and the remains of his teeth were shattered to pieces in the convulsive vibrations of his jaws.

In the midst of this agony he made one desperate effort, and bursting open the door of his apartment, bolted into Hatchway's chamber, which happened to be on the same floor; and there found the lieutenant in a counterfeit swoon, who pretended to wake from his trance in an ejaculation of »Lord have mercy upon us!« And being questioned by the terrified commodore with regard to what had happened, assured him he had heard the same voice and clap of thunder by which Trunnion himself had been discomposed.

Pipes, whose turn it was to watch, concurred in giving evidence to the same purpose; and the commodore not only owned that he had heard the voice, but likewise communicated his vision, with all the aggravation which his disturbed fancy suggested.

A consultation immediately ensued, in which Mr. Hatchway very gravely observed, that the finger of God was plainly perceivable in those signals; and that it would be both sinful and foolish to disregard his commands, especially as the match proposed was, in all respects, more advantageous than any that one of his years and infirmities could reasonably expect; declaring that for his own part he would not endanger his soul and body by living one day longer under the same roof with a man who despised the holy will of heaven; and Tom Pipes adhered to the same pious resolution.

Trunnion's perseverance could not resist the number and diversity of considerations that assaulted it; he revolved in silence all the opposite motives that occurred to his reflection; and after having been, to all appearance, bewildered in the labyrinth of his own thoughts, he wiped the sweat from his forehead, and heaving a piteous groan, yielded to their remonstrances in these words: »Well, since it must be so, I think we must e'en grapple. But damn my eyes! 'tis a damn'd hard case that a fellow of my years should be compelled, d'ye see, to beat up to windward all the rest of his life, against the current of his own inclination.«

This important article being discussed, Mr. Hatchway set out in the morning to visit the despairing shepherdess, and was handsomely rewarded for the enlivening tidings with which he blessed her ears. Sick as she was, she could not help laughing heartily at the contrivance, in consequence of which her swain's assent had been obtained, and gave the lieutenant ten guineas for Tom Pipes, in consideration of the part he acted in the farce.

In the afternoon the commodore suffered himself to be conveyed to her apartment, like a felon to execution, and was received by her in a languishing manner and genteel dishabille, accompanied by her sister-in-law; who was, for very obvious reasons, extremely sollicitous about her success. Though the lieutenant had tutored him touching his behaviour at this interview, he made a thousand wry faces before he could pronounce the simple salutation of How d'ye? to his mistress; and after his counsellor had urged him with twenty or thirty whispers, to each of which he had replied aloud, »Damn your eyes I won't,« he got up, and halting towards the couch on which Mrs. Grizzle reclined in a state of strange expectation, he seized her hand and pressed it to his lips; but this piece of gallantry he performed in such a reluctant, uncouth, indignant manner, that the nymph had need of all her resolution to endure the compliment without shrinking; and he himself was so disconcerted at what he had done, that he instantly retired to the other end of the room, where he sat silent, and broiled with shame and vexation. Mrs. Pickle, like a sensible matron, quitted the place, on pretence of going to the nursery; and Mr.