– In short, whether I was guilty or unfortunate, the vengeance and sympathy of this arbitrary pedagogue were the same. Far from being subdued by this infernal usage, my indignation triumphed over that slavish awe which had hitherto enforced my obedience; and the more my years and knowledge increased, the more I perceived the injustice and barbarity of his behaviour. By the help of an uncommon genius, and the advice and direction of our usher, who had served my father in his travels, I made a surprising progress in the classicks, writing and arithmetick; so that before I was twelve years old, I was confessedly the best scholar in the school: This qualification, together with a boldness of temper, and strength of make, which had subjected almost all my cotemporaries, gave me such influence over them, that I began to form cabals against my persecutor; and was in hopes of being able to bid him defiance in a very short time. – Being at the head of a faction consisting of thirty boys, most of them of my own age, I was determined to put their mettal to trial, that I might know how far they were to be depended upon, before I put my grand scheme in execution: with this view we attacked a body of stout apprentices, who had taken possession of a part of the ground allotted to us, for the scene of our diversions; and who were then playing at nine-pins on the spot: but I had the mortification to see my adherents routed in an instant, and a leg of one of them broke in his flight by the bowl, which one of our adversaries had detached in pursuit of us. – This discomfiture did not hinder us from engaging them afterwards, in frequent skirmishes which we maintained by throwing stones at a distance, wherein I received many wounds, the scars of which still remain. Our enemies were so harassed and interrupted by these alarms, that they at last abandoned their conquest, and left us to the peaceable enjoyment of our own territories. – It would be endless to enumerate the exploits we performed in the course of this confederacy, which became the terror of the whole village; insomuch, that when different interests divided it, one of the parties commonly courted the assistance of Roderick Random (by which name I was known) to cast the balance, and keep the opposite faction in awe. – Meanwhile, I took the advantage of every play-day, to present myself before my grandfather, to whom I seldom found access, by reason of his being so closely besieged by a numerous family of his female grandchildren, who, though they perpetually quarrelled among themselves, never failed to join against me, as the common enemy of all. His heir, who was about the age of eighteen, minded nothing but fox-hunting, and indeed was qualified for nothing else, notwithstanding his grandfather's indulgence, in entertaining a tutor for him at home; who at the same time performed the office of parish clerk. This young Acteon, who inherited his grandfather's antipathy to every thing in distress, never set eyes on me, without uncoupling his beagles, and hunting me into some cottage or other, whither I generally fled for shelter. In this christian amusement, he was encouraged by his preceptor, who, no doubt, took such opportunities to ingratiate himself with the rising sun, observing that the old gentleman, according to course of nature, had not long to live, being already on the verge of fourscore. – The behaviour of this rascally sycophant incensed me so much, that one day, when I was beleagued by him and his hounds into a farmer's house, where I had found protection, I took aim at him (being an excellent marksman) with a large pebble, which struck out four of his foreteeth, and effectually incapacitated him for doing the office of a clerk ever after.

 

 

Chapter III

My mother's brother arrives – relieves me – a description of him – goes along with me to the house of my grandfather – is encountered by his dogs – defeats them after a bloody engagement – is admitted to the old gentleman – a dialogue between them

 

About this time, my mother's only brother, who had been long abroad, lieutenant of a man of war, arrived in his own country; where being informed of my condition, he came to see me, and out of his slender finances, not only supplied me with what necessaries I wanted for the present, but resolved not to leave the country, until he had prevailed on my grandfather to settle something handsome for the future. This was a task to which he was by no means equal, being entirely ignorant not only of the judge's disposition, but also unacquainted with the ways of men in general, to which his education on board had kept him an utter stranger. – He was a strong built man, somewhat bandy-legged, with a neck like that of a bull, and a face which (you might easily perceive) had withstood the most obstinate assaults of the weather. – His dress consisted of a soldier's coat altered for him by the ship's taylor, a stripped flannel jacket, a pair of red breeches japanned with pitch, clean grey worsted stockings, large silver buckles that covered three-fourths of his shoes, a silver-laced hat whose crown over-looked the brims about an inch and a half, a black bob wig in the buckle, a check shirt, a silk handkerchief, an hanger with a brass handle girded to his thigh by a tarnished laced belt, and a good oak plant under his arm. – Thus equipt, he set out with me (who by his bounty made a very decent appearance) for my grandfather's house, where we were saluted by Jowler and Cæsar, whom my cousin, young master, had let loose at our approach. Being well acquainted with the inveteracy of these curs, I was about to betake myself to my heels, when my uncle seizing me with one hand, brandished his cudgel with the other, and at one blow laid Cæsar sprawling on the ground: but finding himself attacked at the same time in the rear by Jowler, and fearing Cæsar might recover, he drew his hanger, wheel'd about, and by a lucky stroke, severed Jowler's head from his body. – By this time, the young fox-hunter and three servants armed with pitch-forks and flails were come to the assistance of the dogs, whom they found breathless upon the field. My cousin was so provoked at the death of his favourites, that he ordered his attendants to advance, and take vengeance on their executioner, whom he loaded with all the curses and reproaches his anger could suggest. – Upon which my uncle stepped forwards with an undaunted air, at the sight of whose bloody weapon, his antagonists fell back with precipitation; when he accosted their leader thus: – »Lookée, brother, your dogs having boarded me without provocation, what I did was in my own defence. – So you had best be civil, and let us shoot a-head, clear of you.« Whether the young 'squire misinterpreted my uncle's desire of peace, or was enraged at the fate of his hounds beyond his usual pitch of resolution, I know not; but he snatched a flail from one of his followers, and came up with a shew of assaulting the lieutenant, who putting himself into a posture of defence, proceeded thus: – »Lookée, you lubberly son of a w–e, if you come athwart me, 'ware your gingerbread-work. – I'll be foul of your quarter, d–n me.« This declaration followed by a flourish of his hanger, seemed to check the progress of the young gentleman's choler, who, upon turning about, perceived his attendants had slunk into the house, shut the gate, and left him to decide the contention by himself. – Here a parley ensued, which was introduced by my cousin's asking, »Who the d–l are you? – What do you want? – Some scoundrel of a seaman (I suppose) who has deserted and turned thief. – But don't think you shall escape, sirrah, – I'll have you hanged, you dog, – I will. – Your blood shall pay for that of my two hounds, you ragamuffin. – I would not have parted with them to save your whole generation from the gallows, you ruffian, you.« – »None of your jaw, you swab, – none of your jaw (replied my uncle) else I shall trim your laced jacket for you – I shall rub you down with an oaken towel, my boy – I shall.« – So saying, he sheathed his hanger and grasped his cudgel. Mean-while the people of the house being alarm'd, one of my female cousins opened a window, and asked what was the matter? – »The matter! (answered the lieutenant) no great matter, young woman. – I have business with the old gentleman, and this spark, belike, won't allow me to come along side of him, that's all.« – After a few minutes pause, we were admitted, and conducted to my grandfather's chamber, through a lane of my relations, who honoured me with very significant looks, as I passed along. – When we came into the judge's presence, my uncle, after two or three sea-bows, expressed himself in this manner: – »Your servant, your servant. – What chear, father? what chear? – I suppose you don't know me – may hap you don't.