– But this stratagem did not succeed; for, being apprised of their ambush, I got home another way, and by the help of my landlord's apprentice, emptied a close stool out of the garret window, which did great execution upon them; and next day, occasioned so much mirth at their expence, that they found themselves under a necessity of leaving the town, until the adventure should be entirely forgotten. – My cousins (though twice baffled in their expectation) did not however, desist from persecuting me, who had now enraged them beyond a possibility of forgiveness, by detecting their malice, and preventing its effects: neither would I have found them more humane, had I patiently submitted to their rancour, and bore without murmuring the rigour of their unreasonable hate; for, I have found by experience, that though small favours may be acknowledged, and slight injuries atoned, there is no wretch so ungrateful as he, whom you have most generously obliged; and no enemy so implacable, as those who have done you most wrong. – These good-natured creatures, therefore, had recourse to a scheme which conspired with a piece of bad news I soon after received, to give them all the satisfaction they desired: this plan was to debauch the faith of my companion and confident, and prevail on him to betray the trust I reposed in him, by imparting to them the particulars of my small amours, which they published with such exaggerations, that I suffered very much in the opinion of every body, and was utterly discarded, by the dear creatures whose names had been called in question. – While I was busied in tracing out the author of this treachery, that I might not only be revenged on him, but also vindicate my character to my friends; I one day, perceived the looks of my landlady so altered, when I went home to dinner, that upon enquiring into the cause, she screwed up her mouth, and fixing her eyes on the ground, told me her husband had received a letter from Mr. Bowling, with one enclosed for me – she was very sorry for what had happened, both for my sake, and his own. – People should be more cautious of their conduct – she was always afraid his brutal behaviour would bring him into some misfortune or other. – As for her part, she would be very ready to befriend me; but she had a small family of her own to maintain. – The world would do nothing for her if she should come to want – charity begins at home. – She wished I had been bound to some substantial handicraft, such as a weaver or shoemaker, rather than loiter away my time in learning foolish nonsense that would never bring me in a penny – but some folks are wise, and some are otherwise. – I was listening to this mysterious discourse, with great amazement, when her husband entered, and without speaking a syllable, put both the letters into my hand. – I received them trembling, and read what follows:

 

To Roger Potion

Sir,

»This is to let you know that I have quitted the Thunder man of war; being obliged to sheer off, for killing my captain, which I did fairly on the beach, at Cape Tiberoon, in the island of Hispaniola; having received his fire, and returned it, which went through his body: – and I would serve the best man so that ever stept between stem and stern, if so be that he struck me, as captain Oakhum, did. I am (thank God) safe among the French, who are very civil, thof I don't understand their lingo, – and I hope to be restored in a little time, for all the great friends and parliamentary interest of the captain, for I have sent home to my landlord in Deal, an account of the whole affair, with our bearings and distances while we were engaged, whereby I have desired him to lay it before his majesty, who (G–d bless him) will not suffer an honest tar to be wronged. – My love to your spouse, and am

Your loving friend,

and servant to command,

while

THOMAS BOWLING«

 

To Roderick Random

Dear Rory,

»Don't be grieved at my misfortune – but mind your book, my lad. I have got no money to send you; but what of that? – Mr. Potion will take care of you, for the love he bears to me; and let you want for nothing, and it shall go hard, but I will see him one day repaid. – No more at present, but rests

Your dutiful uncle

and servant, till death,

THOMAS BOWLING«

 

This letter (which with the other was dated from Port Louis in Hispaniola) was no sooner read, than the apothecary shaking his head, began: –– »I have a very great regard for Mr. Bowling, that's certain, – and could be well content –– but times are very hard. – There's no such thing as money to be got – I believe 'tis all vanished under-ground, for my part. – Besides, I have been out of pocket already, having entertained you since the beginning of this month, without receiving a six-pence, – and G–d knows if ever I shall; – for I believe it will go hard with your uncle. – And more than that, I was thinking of giving you warning, for I want your apartment for a new 'prentice, whom I expect from the country every hour. – So, I desire you will this week provide yourself with another lodging.« – The indignation which this harangue inspired, gave me spirits to support my reverse of fortune; and to tell him, I despised his mean, selfish disposition so much, that I would rather starve than be beholden to him for one single meal. Upon which, out of my pocket-money, I paid him to the last farthing of what I owed, and assured him, I would not sleep another night under his roof. – This said, I sallied out, in a transport of rage and sorrow, without knowing whither, to fly for shelter, having not one friend in the world capable of relieving me, and only three shillings in my purse. – After giving way for a few minutes to the dictates of my rage, I went and hired a small bed-room at the rate of one shilling and six-pence per week, which I was obliged to pay per-advance, before the landlord would receive me; hither I removed my luggage; and next morning got up, with a view of craving the advice and assistance of a person who had on all occasions, loaded me with caresses, and made frequent offers of friendship, while I was under no necessity of accepting them. – He received me with his wonted affability, and insisted on my breakfasting with him, which I did not think fit to refuse. – But when I communicated the occasion of my visit, he appeared so disconcerted, that I concluded him wonderfully affected with the misery of my condition, and looked upon him as a man of the most extensive sympathy and benevolence. – He did not leave me long under this mistake; for recovering himself out of his confusion, he told me, he was grieved at my misfortune, and desired to know what had passed between my landlord Mr. Potion and me. Whereupon I recounted the conversation; and when I repeated the answer I made to his ungenerous remonstrance with regard to my leaving his house, this pretended friend affected a stare, and exclaimed, »Is it possible you could behave so ill to the man who had treated you so kindly all along?« – My surprise at hearing this, was not at all affected, whatever his might be; and I gave him to understand, with some warmth, that I did not imagine he would so unreasonably espouse the cause of a scoundrel, who ought to be expelled from every social community. – This heat of mine, gave him all the advantage he desired over me, and our discourse (after much altercation) concluded in his desiring never to see me again in that place; to which I yielded my consent, assuring him, that had I been as well acquainted with his principles formerly as I was now, he never should have had an opportunity to make that request.