Unlike as was the flower of
each successive day to the preceding one, it yet so assimilated its
richness to the rich beauty of the woman, that I thought it the
only flower fit to be worn; so fit, indeed, that Nature had
evidently created this floral gem, in a happy exuberance, for the
one purpose of worthily adorning Zenobia's head. It might be that
my feverish fantasies clustered themselves about this peculiarity,
and caused it to look more gorgeous and wonderful than if beheld
with temperate eyes. In the height of my illness, as I well
recollect, I went so far as to pronounce it preternatural.
"Zenobia is an enchantress!" whispered I once to Hollingsworth.
"She is a sister of the Veiled Lady. That flower in her hair is a
talisman. If you were to snatch it away, she would vanish, or be
transformed into something else."
"What does he say?" asked Zenobia.
"Nothing that has an atom of sense in it," answered
Hollingsworth. "He is a little beside himself, I believe, and talks
about your being a witch, and of some magical property in the
flower that you wear in your hair."
"It is an idea worthy of a feverish poet," said she, laughing
rather compassionately, and taking out the flower. "I scorn to owe
anything to magic. Here, Mr. Hollingsworth, you may keep the spell
while it has any virtue in it; but I cannot promise you not to
appear with a new one to-morrow. It is the one relic of my more
brilliant, my happier days!"
The most curious part of the matter was that, long after my
slight delirium had passed away,—as long, indeed, as I continued to
know this remarkable woman,—her daily flower affected my
imagination, though more slightly, yet in very much the same way.
The reason must have been that, whether intentionally on her part
or not, this favorite ornament was actually a subtile expression of
Zenobia's character.
One subject, about which—very impertinently, moreover—I
perplexed myself with a great many conjectures, was, whether
Zenobia had ever been married. The idea, it must be understood, was
unauthorized by any circumstance or suggestion that had made its
way to my ears. So young as I beheld her, and the freshest and
rosiest woman of a thousand, there was certainly no need of
imputing to her a destiny already accomplished; the probability was
far greater that her coming years had all life's richest gifts to
bring. If the great event of a woman's existence had been
consummated, the world knew nothing of it, although the world
seemed to know Zenobia well. It was a ridiculous piece of romance,
undoubtedly, to imagine that this beautiful personage, wealthy as
she was, and holding a position that might fairly enough be called
distinguished, could have given herself away so privately, but that
some whisper and suspicion, and by degrees a full understanding of
the fact, would eventually be blown abroad. But then, as I failed
not to consider, her original home was at a distance of many
hundred miles. Rumors might fill the social atmosphere, or might
once have filled it, there, which would travel but slowly, against
the wind, towards our Northeastern metropolis, and perhaps melt
into thin air before reaching it.
There was not—and I distinctly repeat it—the slightest
foundation in my knowledge for any surmise of the kind. But there
is a species of intuition,—either a spiritual lie or the subtile
recognition of a fact,—which comes to us in a reduced state of the
corporeal system. The soul gets the better of the body, after
wasting illness, or when a vegetable diet may have mingled too much
ether in the blood. Vapors then rise up to the brain, and take
shapes that often image falsehood, but sometimes truth. The spheres
of our companions have, at such periods, a vastly greater influence
upon our own than when robust health gives us a repellent and
self-defensive energy. Zenobia's sphere, I imagine, impressed
itself powerfully on mine, and transformed me, during this period
of my weakness, into something like a mesmerical clairvoyant.
Then, also, as anybody could observe, the freedom of her
deportment (though, to some tastes, it might commend itself as the
utmost perfection of manner in a youthful widow or a blooming
matron) was not exactly maiden-like. What girl had ever laughed as
Zenobia did? What girl had ever spoken in her mellow tones? Her
unconstrained and inevitable manifestation, I said often to myself,
was that of a woman to whom wedlock had thrown wide the gates of
mystery. Yet sometimes I strove to be ashamed of these conjectures.
I acknowledged it as a masculine grossness—a sin of wicked
interpretation, of which man is often guilty towards the other
sex—thus to mistake the sweet, liberal, but womanly frankness of a
noble and generous disposition. Still, it was of no avail to reason
with myself nor to upbraid myself. Pertinaciously the thought,
"Zenobia is a wife; Zenobia has lived and loved! There is no folded
petal, no latent dewdrop, in this perfectly developed
rose!"—irresistibly that thought drove out all other conclusions,
as often as my mind reverted to the subject.
Zenobia was conscious of my observation, though not, I presume,
of the point to which it led me.
"Mr. Coverdale," said she one day, as she saw me watching her,
while she arranged my gruel on the table, "I have been exposed to a
great deal of eye-shot in the few years of my mixing in the world,
but never, I think, to precisely such glances as you are in the
habit of favoring me with. I seem to interest you very much; and
yet—or else a woman's instinct is for once deceived—I cannot reckon
you as an admirer. What are you seeking to discover in me?"
"The mystery of your life," answered I, surprised into the truth
by the unexpectedness of her attack. "And you will never tell
me."
She bent her head towards me, and let me look into her eyes, as
if challenging me to drop a plummet-line down into the depths of
her consciousness.
"I see nothing now," said I, closing my own eyes, "unless it be
the face of a sprite laughing at me from the bottom of a deep
well."
A bachelor always feels himself defrauded, when he knows or
suspects that any woman of his acquaintance has given herself away.
Otherwise, the matter could have been no concern of mine. It was
purely speculative, for I should not, under any circumstances, have
fallen in love with Zenobia.
1 comment