Many a time, while he stretched credulity to a point, I have heard
him apologize in some such way for his method. It was the splendour of
his belief that made the thing so convincing in the telling, for later
when I found the same tale written down it seemed somehow to have
failed of an equal achievement. The truth was that no one language
would convey the extraordinary freight that was carried so easily by
his instinctive choice of gestures, tone, and glance. With him these
were consummately interpretative. ––
Before the age of thirty he had written and published a volume or
two of curious tales, all dealing with extensions of the personality,
a subject that interested him deeply, and one he understood because he
drew the material largely from himself. Psychology he simply devoured,
even in its most fantastic and speculative forms; and though perhaps
his vision was incalculably greater than his power of technique, these
strange books had a certain value and formed a genuine contribution
to the thought on that particular subject. In England naturally they
fell dead, but their translation into German brought him a wider and
more intelligent circle. The common public unfamiliar with Sally
Beauchamp No. 4, with Hélène Smith, or with Dr. Hanna, found in these
studies of divided personality, and these singular extensions of the
human consciousness, only extravagance and imagination run to
wildness. Yet, none the less, the substratum of truth upon which
O’Malley had built them, lay actually within his own personal
experience. The books had brought him here and there acquaintances of
value; and among these latter was a German doctor, Heinrich Stahl.
With Dr. Stahl the Irishman crossed swords through months of somewhat
irregular correspondence, until at length the two had met on board a
steamer where the German held the position of ship’s doctor. The
acquaintanceship had grown into something approaching friendship,
although the two men stood apparently at the opposite poles of
thought. From time to time they still met.
In appearance there was nothing unusual about O’Malley, unless it
was the contrast of the light blue eyes with the dark hair. Never, I
think, did I see him in anything but that old grey flannel suit, with
the low collar and shabby glistening tie. He was of medium height,
delicately built, his hands more like a girl’s than a man’s. In towns
he shaved and looked fairly presentable, but once upon his travels he
grew beard and moustache and would forget for weeks to have his hair
cut, so that it fell in a tangle over forehead and eyes.
His manner changed with the abruptness of his moods. Sometimes
active and alert, at others for days together he would become absent,
dreamy, absorbed, half oblivious of the outer world, his movements and
actions dictated by subconscious instinct rather than regulated by
volition. And one cause of that loneliness of spirit which was
undoubtedly a chief pain in life to him, was the fact that ordinary
folk were puzzled how to take him, or to know which of these many
extreme moods was the man himself. Uncomfortable, unsatisfactory,
elusive, not to be counted upon, they deemed him: and from their point
of view they were undoubtedly right. The sympathy and above all the
companionship he needed, genuinely craved too, were thus denied to him
by the faults of his own temperament. With women his intercourse was
of the slightest; in a sense he did not know the need of them much.
For one thing, the feminine element in his own nature was too strong,
and he was not conscious, as most men are, of the great gap of
incompleteness women may so exquisitely fill; and, for another, its
obvious corollary perhaps, when they did come into his life, they gave
him more than he could comfortably deal with. They offered him more
than he needed.
In this way, while he perhaps had never fallen in love, as the
saying has it, he had certainly known that high splendour of devotion
which means the losing of oneself in others, that exalted love which
seeks not any reward of possession because it is itself so utterly
possessed. He was pure, too; in the sense that it never occurred to
him to be otherwise.
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