The night was windy and cold, he was warm under the sheets; the night was as big
as a hill, he was a boy in bed.
Closing his eyes, he stared into a spinning cavern deeper than the
darkness of the garden where the first tree on which the unreal birds had fastened stood
alone and bright as fire. The tears ran back under his lids as he thought of the first
tree that was planted so near him, like a friend in the garden. He crept out of bed and
tiptoed to the door. The rocking-horse bounded forward on its springs, startling the
child into a noiseless scamper back to bed. The child looked at the horse and the horse
was quiet; he tiptoed again along the carpet, and reached the door, and turned the knob
around, and ran on to the landing. Feeling blindly in front of him, he made his way to
the top of the stairs; he looked down the dark stairs into the hall, seeing a host of
shadows curve in and out of the corners, hearing their sinuous voices, imagining the
pits of their eyes and their lean arms. But they would be little and secret and
bloodless, not cased in invisible armour but wound around with cloths as thin as a web;
they would whisper as he walked, touch him on the shoulder, and say S in his ear. He
went down the stairs; not a shadow moved in the hall, the corners were empty. He put out his hand and patted the darkness, thinking to feel some dry and
velvet head creep under the fingers and edge, like a mist, into the nails. But there was
nothing. He opened the front door, and the shadows swept into the garden.
Once on the path, his fears left him. The moon had lain down on the
unweeded beds, and her frosts were spread on the grass. At last he came to the
illuminated tree at the long gravel end, older even than the marvel of light, with the
woodlice asleep under the bark, with the boughs standing out from the body like the
frozen arms of a woman. The child touched the tree; it bent as to his touch. He saw a
star, brighter than any in the sky, burn steadily above the first birds’ tower,
and shine on nowhere but on the leafless boughs and the trunk and the travelling
roots.
The child had not doubted the tree. He said his prayers to it, with knees
bent on the blackened twigs the night wind fetched to the ground. Then, trembling with
love and cold, he ran back over the lawns towards the house.
There was an idiot to the east of the county who walked the land like a
beggar. Now at a farmhouse and now at a widow’s cottage he begged for his bread. A
parson gave him a suit, and it lopped round his hungry ribs and shoulders and waved in
the wind as he shambled over the fields. But his eyes were so wide and his neck so clear
of the country dirt that no one refused him what he asked. And asking for water, he was
given milk.
‘Where do you come from?’
‘From the east,’ he said.
So they knew he was an idiot, and gave him a meal to clean the yards.
As he bent with a rake over the dung and the trodden grain, he heard a
voice rise in his heart. He put his hand into the cattle’s hay, caught a mouse,
rubbed his hand over its muzzle, and let it go away.
All day the thought of the tree was with the child; all night it stood up
in his dreams as the star stood above its plot. One morning towards the middle of
December, when the wind from the farthest hills was rushing around the house, and the
snow of the dark hours had not dissolved from lawns and roofs, he ran to the
gardener’s shed. The gardener was repairing a rake he had found broken. Without a
word, the child sat on a seedbox at his feet, and watched him tie the
teeth, and knew that the wire would not keep them together. He looked at the
gardener’s boots, wet with snow, at the patched knees of his trousers, at the
undone buttons of his coat, and the folds of his belly under the patched flannel shirt.
He looked at his hands as they busied themselves over the golden knots of wire; they
were hard, brown hands, with the stains of the soil under the broken nails and the
stains of tobacco on the tips of the fingers. Now the lines of the gardener’s face
were set in determination as time upon time he knotted the iron teeth only to feel them
shake insecurely from the handle. The child was frightened of the strength and
uncleanliness of the old man; but, looking at the long, thick beard, unstained and white
as fleece, he soon became reassured. The beard was the beard of an apostle.
‘I prayed to the tree,’ said the child.
‘Always pray to a tree,’ said the gardener, thinking of
Calvary and Eden.
‘I pray to the tree every night.’
‘Pray to a tree.’
The wire slid over the teeth.
‘I pray to that tree.’
The wire snapped.
The child was pointing over the glasshouse flowers to the tree that, alone
of all the trees in the garden, had no sign of snow.
‘An elder,’ said the gardener, but the child stood up from his
box and shouted so loud that the unmended rake fell with a clatter on the floor.
‘The first tree. The first tree you told me of.
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