‘Disastrous, in fact,’ I agreed.
She raised her voice to its normal pitch again, as I had done. ‘No
doubt it will pass,’ she said, ‘now that you have come. Of course,
it’s chiefly my imagination.’ Her tone was lighter, though nothing
could convince me that the matter itself was light—just then. ‘And in
any case,’
tightening her grip on my arm as we passed into the bright enormous
corridor and caught sight of Mrs. Franklyn waiting in the cheerless
hall below, ‘I’m very glad you’re here, Bill, and Mabel, I know, is
too.’
‘If it doesn’t pass,’ I just had time to whisper with a feeble
attempt at jollity, ‘I’ll come at night and snore outside your door.
After that you’ll be so glad to get rid of me that you won’t mind
being alone.’
‘That’s a bargain,’ said Frances.
I shook my hostess by the hand, made a banal remark about the long
interval since last we met, and walked behind them into the great
dining-room, dimly lit by candles, wondering in my heart how long my
sister and I should stay, and why in the world we had ever left our
cosy little flat to enter this desolation of riches and false luxury
at all. The unsightly picture of the late Samuel Franklyn, Esq.,
stared down upon me from the farther end of the room above the mighty
mantelpiece.
He looked, I thought, like some pompous Heavenly Butler who denied
to all the world, and to us in particular, the right of entry without
presentation cards signed by his hand as proof that we belonged to his
own exclusive set. The majority, to his deep grief, and in spite of all
his.prayers on their behalf, must burn and ‘perish everlastingly.’
With the instinct of the healthy bachelor I always try to make myself
a nest in the place I live in, be it for long or short. Whether
visiting, in lodging-house, or in hotel, the first essential is this
nest—one’s own things built into the walls as a bird builds in its
feathers. It may look desolate and uncomfortable enough to others,
because the central detail is neither bed nor wardrobe, sofa nor
armchair, but a good solid writing-table that does not wriggle, and
that has wide elbow-room.
And The Towers is vividly described for me by the single fact that
I could not ‘nest’ there.
I took several days to discover this, but the first impression of
impermanence was truer than I knew. The feathers of the mind refused
here to lie one way. They ruffled, pointed and grew wild.
Luxurious furniture does not mean comfort; I might as well have
tried to settle down in the sofa and armchair department of a big
shop. My bedroom was easily managed; it was the private workroom,
prepared especially for my reception, that made me feel alien and
outcast.
Externally, it was all one could desire: an antechamber to the
great library, with not one, but two generous oak tables, to say
nothing of smaller ones against the walls with capacious drawers.
There were reading-desks, mechanical devices for holding books,
perfect light, quiet as in a church, and no approach but across the
huge adjoining room. Yet it did not invite.
‘I hope you’ll be able to work here,’ said my little hostess the
next morning, as she took me in—her only visit to it while I stayed
in the house—and showed me the ten-volume Catalogue.
‘It’s absolutely quiet and no one will disturb you.’
‘If you can’t, Bill, you’re not much good,’ laughed Frances, who
was on her arm. ‘Even I could write in a study like this!’
I glanced with pleasure at the ample tables, the sheets of thick
blotting-paper, the rulers, sealing-wax, paper-knives, and all the
other immaculate paraphernalia. ‘It’s perfect,’ I answered with a
secret thrill, yet feeling a little foolish. This was for Gibbon or
Carlyle, rather than for my pot-boiling insignificancies. ‘If I can’t
write masterpieces here, it’s certainly not your fault,’ and I turned
with gratitude to Mrs. Franklyn. She was looking straight at me, and
there was a question in her small pale eyes I did not understand.
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