Even the doctrine of accidental education broke
down. There were no accidents in Dresden. As soon as the winter was
over, he closed and locked the German door with a long breath of
relief, and took the road to Italy. He had then pursued his
education, as it pleased him, for eighteen months, and in spite of
the infinite variety of new impressions which had packed themselves
into his mind, he knew no more, for his practical purposes, than
the day he graduated. He had made no step towards a profession. He
was as ignorant as a schoolboy of society. He was unfit for any
career in Europe, and unfitted for any career in America, and he
had not natural intelligence enough to see what a mess he had thus
far made of his education.
By twisting life to follow accidental and devious
paths, one might perhaps find some use for accidental and devious
knowledge, but this had been no part of Henry Adams's plan when he
chose the path most admired by the best judges, and followed it
till he found it led nowhere. Nothing had been further from his
mind when he started in November, 1858, than to become a tourist,
but a mere tourist, and nothing else, he had become in April, 1860,
when he joined his sister in Florence. His father had been in the
right. The young man felt a little sore about it. Supposing his
father asked him, on his return, what equivalent he had brought
back for the time and money put into his experiment! The only
possible answer would be: "Sir, I am a tourist! "
The answer was not what he had meant it to be, and
he was not likely to better it by asking his father, in turn, what
equivalent his brothers or cousins or friends at home had got out
of the same time and money spent in Boston. All they had put into
the law was certainly thrown away, but were they happier in
science? In theory one might say, with some show of proof, that a
pure, scientific education was alone correct; yet many of his
friends who took it, found reason to complain that it was anything
but a pure, scientific world in which they lived.
Meanwhile his father had quite enough perplexities
of his own, without seeking more in his son's errors. His Quincy
district had sent him to Congress, and in the spring of 1860 he was
in the full confusion of nominating candidates for the Presidential
election in November. He supported Mr. Seward. The Republican Party
was an unknown force, and the Democratic Party was torn to pieces.
No one could see far into the future. Fathers could blunder as well
as sons, and, in 1860, every one was conscious of being dragged
along paths much less secure than those of the European tourist.
For the time, the young man was safe from interference, and went on
his way with a light heart to take whatever chance fragments of
education God or the devil was pleased to give him, for he knew no
longer the good from the bad.
He had of both sorts more than he knew how to use.
Perhaps the most useful purpose he set himself to serve was that of
his pen, for he wrote long letters, during the next three months,
to his brother Charles, which his brother caused to be printed in
the Boston Courier; and the exercise was good for him. He had
little to say, and said it not very well, but that mattered less.
The habit of expression leads to the search for something to
express. Something remains as a residuum of the commonplace itself,
if one strikes out every commonplace in the expression. Young men
as a rule saw little in Italy, or anywhere else, and in after life
when Adams began to learn what some men could see, he shrank into
corners of shame at the thought that he should have betrayed his
own inferiority as though it were his pride, while he invited his
neighbors to measure and admire; but it was still the nearest
approach he had yet made to an intelligent act.
For the rest, Italy was mostly an emotion and the
emotion naturally centred in Rome. The American parent, curiously
enough, while bitterly hostile to Paris, seemed rather disposed to
accept Rome as legitimate education, though abused; but to young
men seeking education in a serious spirit, taking for granted that
everything had a cause, and that nature tended to an end, Rome was
altogether the most violent vice in the world, and Rome before 1870
was seductive beyond resistance. The month of May, 1860, was
divine. No doubt other young men, and occasionally young women,
have passed the month of May in Rome since then, and conceive that
the charm continues to exist. Possibly it does - in them - but in
1860 the lights and shadows were still mediaeval, and mediaeval
Rome was alive; the shadows breathed and glowed, full of soft forms
felt by lost senses. No sand-blast of science had yet skinned off
the epidermis of history, thought, and feeling. The pictures were
uncleaned, the churches unrestored, the ruins unexcavated.
Mediaeval Rome was sorcery. Rome was the worst spot on earth to
teach nineteenth-century youth what to do with a twentieth-century
world. One's emotions in Rome were one's private affair, like one's
glass of absinthe before dinner in the Palais Royal; they must be
hurtful, else they could not have been so intense; and they were
surely immoral, for no one, priest or politician, could honestly
read in the ruins of Rome any other certain lesson than that they
were evidence of the just judgments of an outraged God against all
the doings of man. This moral unfitted young men for every sort of
useful activity; it made Rome a gospel of anarchy and vice; the
last place under the sun for educating the young; yet it was, by
common consent, the only spot that the young - of either sex and
every race - passionately, perversely, wickedly loved.
Boys never see a conclusion; only on the edge of the
grave can man conclude anything; but the first impulse given to the
boy is apt to lead or drive him for the rest of his life into
conclusion after conclusion that he never dreamed of reaching. One
looked idly enough at the Forum or at St.
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