Old Mr. Gervase went purple when his name
was mentioned, and the young Dixons sneered very
merrily over the adventure.
"I
always thought he was a beastly young ass," said Edward Dixon, "but I
didn't think he'd chuck away his chances like that. Said he couldn't stand a
bank! I hope he'll be able to stand bread and water. That's all those littery fellows get, I believe, except Tennyson and Mark
Twain and those sort of people."
Lucian
of course sympathized with the unfortunate Bennett, but such judgments were
after all only natural. The young man might have stayed in the bank and
succeeded to his aunt's thousand a year, and everybody would have called him a
very nice young fellow—"clever, too." But he had deliberately chosen,
as Edward Dixon had said, to chuck his chances away for the sake of literature;
piety and a sense of the main chance had alike pointed the way to a delicate
course of wheedling, to a little harmless practicing on Miss Spurry's infirmities, to frequent compliances of a soothing
nature, and the "young ass" had been blind to the direction of one
and the other. It seemed almost right that the vicar should moralize, that
Edward Dixon should sneer, and that Mr. Gervase
should grow purple with contempt. Men, Lucian thought, were like judges, who
may pity the criminal in their hearts, but are forced to vindicate the outraged
majesty of the law by a severe sentence. He felt the same considerations
applied to his own case; he knew that his father should have had more money,
that his clothes should be newer and of a better cut, that he should have gone
to the university and made good friends. If such had been his fortune he could
have looked his fellow-men proudly in the face, upright and unashamed. Having
put on the whole armor of a first-rate West End tailor, with money in his
purse, having taken anxious thought for the morrow, and having some useful
friends and good prospects; in such a case he might have held his head high in
a gentlemanly and Christian community. As it was he had usually avoided the
reproachful glance of his fellows, feeling that he deserved their condemnation.
But he had cherished for a long time his romantic sentimentalities about women;
literary conventions borrowed from the minor poets and pseudo-medievalists, or
so he thought afterwards. But, fresh from school, wearied a little with the
perpetual society of barbarian though worthy boys, he had in his soul a
charming image of womanhood, before which he worshipped with mingled passion
and devotion. It was a nude figure, perhaps, but the shining arms were to be
wound about the neck of a vanquished knight; there was rest for the head of a
wounded lover; the hands were stretched forth to do works of pity, and the
smiling lips were to murmur not love alone, but consolation in defeat. Here was
the refuge for a broken heart; here the scorn of men would but make tenderness
increase; here was all pity and all charity with loving-kindness. It was a
delightful picture, conceived in the "come rest on this bosom," and
"a ministering angel thou" manner, with touches of allurement that
made devotion all the sweeter. He soon found that he had idealized a little; in
the affair of young Bennett, while the men were contemptuous the women were
virulent. He had been rather fond of Agatha Gervase, and she, so other ladies said, had "set her cap"
at him. Now, when he rebelled, and lost the goodwill of his aunt, dear Miss Spurry, Agatha insulted him with
all conceivable rapidity. "After all, Mr. Bennett," she said,
"you will be nothing better than a beggar; now, will you? You mustn't
think me cruel, but I can't help speaking the truth. Write books!" Her expression filled up the incomplete
sentence; she waggled with indignant emotion. These passages came to Lucian's
ears, and indeed the Gervases boasted of "how
well poor Agatha had behaved."
"Never
mind, Gathy," old Gervase
had observed. "If the impudent young puppy comes here again, we'll see
what Thomas can do with the horse-whip."
"Poor
dear child," Mrs. Gervase added in telling the
tale, "and she was so fond of him too. But of course it couldn't go on
after his shameful behavior."
But
Lucian was troubled; he sought vainly for the ideal womanly, the tender note of
"come rest on this bosom." Ministering angels, he felt convinced, do
not rub red pepper and sulfuric acid into the wounds of suffering mortals.
Then
there was the case of Mr. Vaughan, a squire in the neighborhood, at whose board
all the aristocracy of Caermaen had feasted for
years. Mr. Vaughan had a first-rate cook, and his cellar was rare, and he was
never so happy as when he shared his good things with
his friends. His mother kept his house, and they delighted all the girls with
frequent dances, while the men sighed over the amazing champagne.
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